


How To Make A Short, Angry, Low-key-Freaky Boy Fall In Love With Richie Tozier

by spaghedwards



Category: IT (2017)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Banter, Bisexual Richie Tozier, Daddy Kink, Dirty Talk, Dom/sub Undertones, Fluff, Gay Eddie Kaspbrak, Humiliation kink, M/M, Overstimulation, Rough Sex, Smut, Submissive Eddie, Traumatic Childhoods, degradation kink, mentions of eating disorders, mentions of past drug-abuse
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-14
Updated: 2018-08-03
Packaged: 2019-04-22 14:17:29
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 78,970
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14310525
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spaghedwards/pseuds/spaghedwards
Summary: Eddie’s breath hitches. He’s looking up at Richie like a curious child, completely captivated in Richie’s words. Richie smirks. He brings a hand up to Eddie’s hair, fixing some of the curls that drooped down.“I think you’d change, Eds. You’d definitely be more submissive,” He brings a hand to Eddie’s cheek, rough fingers rubbing the soft skin.“Yeah. I think you’d let someone do whatever they wanted to you,” he says lowly. “You’d probably beg for it, too. I can just see it, baby. Your innocent fucking eyes, those red lips shiny with spit, and those thighs—oh shit, those fucking thighs, Eds.” Richie’s hands twitch, like he’s trying not to reach down at Eddie’s ass. He settles for grabbing Eddie’s chin again, kind of harsher this time.





	1. Step One: Have a Wet Dream in Class.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you guys enjoy!

_Thursday October 1 st, 2018 -- 9:03 P.M –  Library EES_

 

 

“HE MOANED?”

 

Eddie slapped a hand over Bill’s mouth, shushing him quickly and looking around the library in case anyone heard. He spotted one girl look up from her laptop and giggle. Eddie was now blushing furiously.

“Oh my fucking god, will you be quiet!” Eddie whispered angrily. He took a deep breath and pulled his hand away from his friend, who was now grinning ear to ear.

“I’m sorry, I just…so what exactly happened?” Bill shifted foreword in his seat, looking at Eddie with curious eyes. Eddie sighed, closing his eyes.

_Thursday October 1 st, 2018 – 7:00 P.M – Calculus 1, Mr. Zyneznegner_

 

Calculus was the only evening class that Eddie had, and it was also his hardest. He sat somewhere in the back of the commodious classroom, the other students filling up the seats in the front row. Eddie set down his backpack carefully next to him on the seat. He pulled out all of his pencils and pens, separating the different colored highlighters in a neat, arrowed line. He smiled when they were all perfectly aligned and pulled out his heavy lined notebook. He crossed his legs and held his pen in his hand, glancing at the clock.

3…2…1, he thought. The classroom wooden door opened, and Mr. Z walked in, holding his briefcase. Perfect timing, Eddie thought.

Mr. Z was an old and slow man, and always gave all of his students a smile and greeted them. He opened a presentation of notes on the projector and started teaching. Eddie was furiously taking notes as the slideshow progressed, picking up different highlighters and making his paper full of neat marks and colors.

About thirty minutes in the class, the wooden door opened again loudly, and Eddie didn’t even have to look down to see who it was.

Ever since the beginning of September, this boy in Eddie’s class would come to Calculus late—about 30 to 45 minutes late. Since the class was only an hour long, Eddie wondered why he even bothered coming at all—especially since all he did when he came was sleep.

So now, the tall boy was making a large amount of noise as he walked up the steps, and he noisily walked over to Eddie and slumped down on the chair right next to him. This didn’t surprise Eddie; the boy had been sitting next to him since the first class.

Eddie wrinkled his nose at the familiar wave of aroma that hit him immediately; cigarette smoke and a hint of…strawberry flavored something? Eddie side-eyed the boy, wondering where the fruity scent was coming from. He saw an Airheads wrapper sticking out from his sweatpants. Ah.

Eddie turned back to the presentation, shifting away subtly from the boy. He took notes for a couple of minutes, and then waited.

3…2…1, Eddie glanced over at the boy. A loud snore came from his open mouth, head thrown back and legs spread widely. Eddie rolled his eyes.

The boy usually just slept through the class peacefully, never moving and staying in that same position until he heard Eddie getting up. But today, Eddie noticed there was something different.

A few minutes after the boy began snoring, he moved his leg to the side. And then to the other side. His foot stomped once on the floor, making Eddie jump a little. Eddie was now frowning at the boy, staring at his legs and wondering what the hell was going on. The boy was still asleep it seemed, but he was no longer snoring.

Eddie avoided looking at his face, not wanting to get caught staring. In fact, Eddie never really looked at the boy’s face—like really looked. The lack of light in the classroom didn’t help either. Every time he glanced, he only caught a mop of wild and unruly curls surrounding his pale face. Oh, and also these huge and ridiculous glasses. Sometimes the boy was wearing them, sometimes he wasn’t. Today, he wasn’t.

Suddenly, Eddie felt a head on his shoulder. He turned his face to be tickled with soft hair near his mouth. Eddie sputtered and blinked, immediately moving away from the boy. That only caused the boy to slump sideways even more. Now his head was on Eddie’s lap. Eddie wondered how the fuck he was still sleeping.

It also didn’t help that Eddie was wearing his red shorts today—the shortest pants he owned. So he felt the boy’s cold cheek on his bare thighs.

Before Eddie could smack the head on his lap off, he heard the boy breathe heavily. Eddie froze, muscles tensing. It sounded a lot like...

Eddie looked down at him cautiously. The boy was in a deep sleep, but his breathing had become ragged and breathy. Suddenly, the boy moaned. It was deep and raspy. And very, very loud. Eddie’s head snapped back up and saw a few heads turn back to him. He felt his face grow hot, and he dropped the pen from his hand.

Was this guy…having a wet dream or something? Eddie began to panic at the thought. And why did he have to have it on Eddie’s fucking lap of all places?

The boy let out another moan—this time, it interrupted the professor. Mr. Z stopped talking, and squinted into the back of his classroom. Eddie quickly jolted his legs up, trying to slam the boy’s head into the desk. He pushed he boy’s shoulders, feeling his heart beat rising at the eyes he felt on his face. It didn’t work. Now everyone was staring at Eddie, the poor boy who was blushing into a tomato. Eddie realized how the it must’ve looked—another boy’s head completely shoved down in his crotch area. Now Mr. Z was calling out to him.

“Boys,” he had a small smile on his face. “The class is almost over. After that, you are free to continue—“

Eddie shook his head violently. He heard a few chuckles from the front of the rows.

“NO! Mr. Z sir—it’s not—no I—“ Eddie sputtered, trying to talk, but his tongue was tying up. He still felt a hundred pairs of eyes on him, and he jolted up his legs again, this time a lot harder, and the boy’s head hit the desk with a loud bang.

 

_Thursday October 1 st, 2018 – 9:14 P.M –  Library EES_

“Oh my god!” Bill was now laughing hysterically. He muffled most of his laughter with his mouth, and Eddie pouted at him.

 “Okay, it’s not that funny,” he crossed his arms. “It was _so_ embarrassing. I’m pretty sure the entire class thinks I’m some kind of exhibitionist freak or something.”

 Bill laughed a little more before finally stopping.

“Wait, so why does he sit right next to you again?” Bill asked. Eddie shrugs, making a face.

“The fuck if I know,” Eddie says. “He’s an asshole. He probably could tell I wanted to sit alone and decided to mess with me.”

Bill smiles a little, giving him a look that Eddie can’t read. Bill raises his eyebrows and looks down, shaking his head a little. He leans into the armrest, looking eager again.

“Okay okay, and then what? What happened next?”

 

_Thursday October 1 st, 2018 – 7:46 P.M – Calculus 1, Mr. Zyneznegner_

“Ow fucking _shit_ -fuck—“ the boy was finally awake now, and was rubbing his head from where it hit the underside of Eddie’s desk. He slowly sat upright again, and Eddie was glaring at him, trying to ignore the people staring at them. The boy grimaced, still muttering out a string of curse words. He finally turned to Eddie and opened his mouth. He looked just as angry, and that only made Eddie angrier. He did _not_ have the right to be the angry one right now.

“What the fuck are you doing?” the boy groaned in a scratchy voice. He grimaced and rubbed the side of his head again, which was now a little red.

“You wouldn’t get off my fucking legs!” Eddie yelled right back.

The boy groaned painfully, and Eddie only felt bad for a millisecond; he probably hit him a lot harder than he meant to.

“The fuck? Why would I be on your—” the boy’s eyes flickered down to Eddie’s lap, but then stayed there. He stopped rubbing his head, and his eyes focused on Eddie’s bare thighs. He raked his eyes up and down the smaller boy’s pale legs, licking his lips slowly.

Eddie blinked, suddenly feeling very self conscious. Why was he looking at his legs like that? He reached down and tried pulling the hem of his shorts down, but that action only caught the boy’s attention to the skin near his crotch. Eddie felt stomach jolt a little.

“Boys!” Mr. Z’s voice called out again, this time more serious and urgent. “Do you need to go outside or can I finish my lesson?”

Eddie snapped his head back to the professor. He blushed again and sat up a little straighter, picking up his pen.

“No sir. I’m sorry—we’re good.” Eddie’s voice was higher than usual—he was still so embarrassed from the entire thing. He thought about moving to another seat, but he didn’t want any more attention on him.

Eddie didn’t even look at the boy, but he could feel his eyes on him. He ignored it the best he could, taking neat notes and highlighting the important things. Slowly, he felt his heart calm down, and he let out a small sigh.

Mr. Z wrapped up the PowerPoint and claimed there was going to be a pop quiz on today’s notes. Eddie felt nervous and quickly scanned his notes, trying to retain any amount of information before he had to store his notebook away. When the professor began passing out quizzes, he started to close his book. But a nudge on his arm stopped him.

Eddie turned his face, confused. The boy seemed to be much closer now, and his face was just inches away from his own. Eddie blinked, eyelashes fluttering. He never really noticed just how dark the boy’s eyes were.

“Can I see your notes really quick?” the boy asked, the scent of strawberry Airheads with a hint of bitter smoke coming from his mouth.

Eddie knew he could be annoying and say something like ‘why sleep if you need the notes’, but he already felt tired from the day and was too nervous about the quiz to bicker. So he just rolled his eyes and shoved his notebook into the boy’s hands.

The dark-haired boy grinned at him, taking the book. He let his eyes linger on Eddie before quickly looking down to the pages. He had only a minute before Mr. Z was in front of them, holding the quiz in his hands.

“Come on, boy. This isn’t an open quiz,” he said, gesturing to Eddie’s book in the boy’s hands. Mr. Z handed the quiz to Eddie, and the boy just held one finger up to him, nodding shortly.

“I know, just hang on a minute, Z,” he said. Eddie paused, looking at him. The boy was quickly scanning the notes until he reached the bottom of the page. Then he closed the book and handed it to Eddie, who quickly shoved it in his backpack, giving him a glare. The boy only gave him a smirk. Mr. Z paused before leaving, eying them both with an amused smile.

Five minutes later, Eddie was stuck on number 1. He’s stuck on all of them actually. He stared at the words—none of it ringing a bell in his brain. He took all the notes and remembered knowing them at the time, but now…it was like it all fell out of his head. Eddie must’ve been more distracted by what happened earlier than he thought. He was pretty sure he zoned out for the rest of the notes, trying to calm himself down. All of the words seemed so familiar to him, but he just couldn’t remember the formulas that he’d written.

Eddie sighed sadly, slumping back in his seat. He played with his pencil and twirled it around, looking around the classroom. He noticed that the boy next to him was already done. His paper was on his desk, completely done. Eddie noticed a bunch of work and formulas written across the paper. His eyes widened when he saw the answer. He looked back at his own paper, rereading the question. The boy’s answer actually made sense. Except, Eddie didn’t know how he got it.

And the thing is, Eddie is not a cheater. No sir. He knows that cheating is wrong and immoral, so he is not a cheater. But he can’t help but scoot a little closer, subtly tilting his head and squinting his eyes at the boy’s work. After a minute of following his work, Eddie finally gets the answer. So he turns back to his own paper and scribbles down the work.

And it isn’t cheating—not really. Because technically, it’s his own work. The boy only did that work from Eddie’s notes. And also—Eddie understands why the answer is correct, so his job of learning as a student is fulfilled.

Eddie’s thoughts are interrupted when he hears a paper slide over. Eddie looks at the boy’s quiz, which is now at the edge of his desk, positioned closer to Eddie so he can see it easily. He blinks up at the boy in surprise, so sure that he was being subtle. When he sees the boy’s shit eating grin, he frowns. Apparently not.

Eddie stares him dead in the eye before reaching over and turning over the boy’s quiz so he can no longer see it. He turns back to his own quiz and ignores the boy’s low chuckle. He hears the boy lean over to him.

“Seriously? You’d rather fail than let me help you?” he whispers. His tone is amused, and Eddie can hear the grin in his voice. He glares at him.

“Yes, actually. I’d rather fail than take help from a horned up fuck-boy.” He huffs out and turns back to his quiz. He hears the boy let out an amused chuckle, making him even more mad. When the boy leans over again, he’s a little bit louder, making sure Eddie can hear him.

“Suit yourself. Besides, something tells me you’re used to taking the D.”

Eddie sputters, dropping his pencil at the sudden remark. He turns his head fully to the boy.

“God, can you just fucking shut up?” Eddie hates the blush that is still on his cheeks.

“God?” The boy places a dramatic hand on his chest. “Just Richie is fine, thanks.” He leans back against his chair, putting an arm over Eddie’s seat. Eddie stares at him.

“Richie?” he asks after a while. It’s such a stupid name for such a stupid person. Richie just smirks at him.

“That’s my name, baby, don’t wear it out.” He says it an awful Danny Zuko accent, combing a hand through his wild hair. Eddie flushes at the nickname, and kicks at Richie’s leg with his shoe. It’s childish, and it makes Eddie feel like he’s in seventh grade again. But Richie kicks back, and Eddie is sure he’s in seventh grade again.

However, people are now leaving, a flutter of papers sounding around the room. Everyone seems to be done, and Eddie curses himself for not doing his work. He quickly picks up his pen and starts reading the second question, moving his pen and trying to remember the formulas. To his surprise, Richie leaves him alone, lets him try to do the problems.

At this point, everyone has left the classroom—except for Eddie and Richie. Eddie pauses for a moment to wonder why Richie hasn’t left yet. He’d been done for a long time, and now he was just sitting there, every once in a while throwing an Airhead Bite in the air and catching it in his mouth.

“Boy—what’s your name?” Mr. Z’s voice breaks Eddie out of his concentration. He jumps a little, and hears Richie snicker.

“Oh—uh, Eddie. Eddie Kaspbrak, sir.” He sees Richie turn his head to him in the corner of his eye.

Mr. Z nods. “Look Eddie, you need to finish the quiz by the next minute. Otherwise I cannot accept your quiz,” he says. He looks apologetic. “Sorry, boy.”

Eddie feels his heart sink. He nods curtly. “Yes, sir.” He looks down again, not knowing how to even start the problems. He sighs and stands up. Richie stands up as well. When Eddie looks at him, Richie waves his quiz at him subtly with a raised eyebrow. _Last chance_ , his face seems to say.

But Eddie frowns, and picks up his backpack, heading down the steps, unfinished quiz in his hand. He hears Richie follow a moment later.

As they both hand their quizzes to Mr. Z, Eddie adjusts the bag on his shoulders. He’s vaguely aware of the fact that Richie is just standing next to him, like he’s waiting for Eddie.

“Um, sir?” Eddie asks. Mr. Z looks up at him, a warm smile on his face.

“Yes, Eddie?”

“Um, can I come tomorrow for some extra help?” he bites his lip and looks down at his quiz. Mr. Z nods understandingly, but then takes Richie’s quiz and looks over at it.

“Sure, but uh. From the looks of it, your boyfriend could help you out—“

Eddie widens his eyes.

“He’s not my boyfriend!” he squeaks out. His face feels hot and begins to remember why Mr. Z would think that. He feels a long arm swing around his shoulder.

“Don’t worry, Z. I’ve got him covered,” he says, taking one hand to solute at him like an army soldier.

Eddie glares up at him and shrugs off his arm, but Richie is stronger than he looks, and easily keeps his arm on. Mr. Z looks at them both with an amused smile, before nodding. Richie begins to walk them out.

Now that Eddie is a little less embarrassed, he suddenly realizes just how tall Richie is. He never noticed before because he never really stood next to him; after class, Richie would leave before he could even walk out the door, somehow magically waking up the exact second before the class was over. But now, with Richie side to side with him, Eddie guessed that he was at least a whole foot taller than him. It made something flutter in his stomach. He was 99.999 percent sure it was annoyance.

“What do you mean you’ve got me covered?” Eddie tilted his head up to look at Richie. He didn’t bother shrugging off his arm, telling himself that it was because he was already tired from the day.

“It means, Eds, I’ve got you covered,” Richie says simply. He turns them around a corner in the halls. The building is pretty much empty, their footsteps echoing a little.

Eddie wrinkles his nose. “My name’s Eddie, not Eds.” Richie hums, smiling.

“I know, but it’s my nickname for you.”

“Eddie is already a nickname.”

Richie looks down at him with a glint in his eyes. “I said _my_ nickname for you.” Richie’s eyes look at the freckles on Eddie’s nose, like he’s just noticing them.

“Yeah?” Eddie says. “Well it’s stupid.”

“You’re stupid.”

Eddie scoffs. “Ooh. Burn.”

When they push open the building doors, Richie lets go of him, tucking his hands into his pockets. He stands in front of Eddie, looking down at him.

“That shit fucking hurt, you know.” He brings a hand up to his head and dramatically hisses. Eddie is almost sure he’s pretending. But he can’t help but feel a little bad.

“Yeah, well. You wouldn’t wake up,” Eddie said defensively. “And everyone was staring at us, it was so embarrassing.”

Richie frowns. “Why were they staring? Cause I fell asleep on you?”

Eddie pauses. He realizes that Richie still doesn’t know what happened while he was, erm, sleeping.

“No… not cause of that.” Eddie inhales, suddenly feeling hot again. He nervously plays with his fingers again when Richie waits for him to elaborate. “You moaned in your sleep.”

Richie’s mouth dropped, and then began to double over, laughing in a loud, child-like manner. Eddie couldn’t help but smile as he watched the boy giggle. He quickly wiped it off when Richie opened his eyes again.

“It wasn’t fucking funny, you asshat. It looked really bad from everyone’s angle!” he pouted, remembering the embarrassment he felt.

“Yeah?” Richie was still grinning, ear to ear. “What did it look like?” he calmed down a little, watching Eddie closely. Eddie started walking again, making it obvious that Richie should walk with him.

“You know what it looked like. Don’t make me say it,” Eddie said.

“Hmm. Were you turned on?”

The question makes Eddie stop walking. He looks at Richie.

“Why the fuck would I be turned on?” he says it nonchalantly, but can’t help but feel a little nervous. He has no idea why.

Richie scoffs, like he can’t believe Eddie.

“Oh come on,” he nudges Eddie on the arm. “Handsome stud like me, moaning like sex god near on your dick—you had to have pitched a tent.”

Eddie laughs. A genuine, loud cackle. “You do _not_ moan like a sex god. More like an old, sex deprived, homeless man.”

“And how would you even know how that sounds like?”

“Well,” Eddie shrugs. “Maybe I happen to like older men.”

“Oh really? You know, uh, I was held back in third and sixth grade. I’m basically an old man, son,” Richie wiggles his eyebrows suggestively at him, easily making his voice go an octave lower and raspier. Eddie shivers.

Eddie doesn’t say anything for a moment. He looks up at Richie, not sure if he’s joking or not.

“Were you really held back?” he asks.

Richie nods. “Yup. Bit of a trouble maker, me was.” He says it in a pirate accent, this one a little bit better than his Danny Zuko impression.

“No way. I would have never guessed,” Eddie says flatly. “What’d you do?”

“Well, in third grade, I trashed my principal’s office with my friends. And in sixth grade, I got in a really bad fight,” Richie said. “With the teacher.”

Eddie raised his eyebrows. “Bad fight as in…bad fight or _bad fight?_ ” He emphasized the last words.

“ _Bad fight,”_ Richie answered. “All I remember is him accusing me of something I didn’t do, and me hitting him with a wrench I bought from home. He had to go to the hospital. Something about permanent brain damage.”

Eddie dropped his jaw. “You just randomly took a wrench to school?”

“No, I uh. I liked to scare kids when I was younger. I’d bring my dad’s weapons and threaten them with it. I’m not proud of it, but.” Richie looked a little ashamed.

“Wow. So you were a bully.” Eddie didn’t mean it in a rude way, but the way it came out was. But before Eddie could say something else, he saw Richie nod.

“I was. That was before I got diagnosed with ADHD. After sixth grade, my step mom made me get tested at the hospital; I guess she honestly thought I was like a psychopath or something. Apparently, I had gotten one of the lowest scores that the doctors had ever seen in a kid my age,” Richie said. “They gave me some medication for the impulses, and I’m still taking them to this day.”

Eddie looked up at him. “I’m sorry.”

Richie smiled a little. “For what?”

“I don’t know. I just thought I should say that.”

Richie smiled. “Don’t say something you don’t mean, kid.” He brought up a hand and ruffled Eddie’s hair. Eddie quickly pushed him off, and then paused.

“No…I. I do mean it, though. I am sorry that you had such a rough childhood.” Eddie looked down at his shoes, watching one foot go over the other.

Richie peeked at him from the side. “You saying that with sympathy or empathy?”

Eddie looked at him, giving a tight smile. “Empathy,” he revealed. “My mom was uh, kind of crazy when I was younger. She wouldn’t really let me out of the house, and if I did, it was in hospitals. She was convinced that I was going to become sick like my dad, so she made me take a bunch of pills—placebos basically. But that wasn’t the worst part. She uh,” Eddie paused. He looked up at Richie again. “I’m sorry, I don’t really know you, so…I don’t want to tell you.”

Richie smiled, swinging an arm around his shoulder yet again. “Hey, that’s perfectly okay, Eds.”

Still, Eddie felt bad. “I’ll tell you someday. Just, not now.”

Richie smirked. “That your way of telling me you wanna hang out again, Eds?”

Eddie rolled his eyes. “That’s not—this isn’t even ‘hanging out’.” Eddie would call it more of a small talk after class.

“Well,” Richie said. “Whatever it is--do you wanna do it again?” Richie isn’t smiling anymore, like he did with most of the conversation. He was completely serious, waiting for an actual answer. Eddie began to feel nervous.

“Um. Do _you_ want to do it again?” he tried.

“I asked first.”

“This isn’t the second grade.”

“You’re right—a second grader would actually know how to answer a question.”

“Fuck you.”

“Eddie.” Richie raised his eyebrow. “Just answer the question.” He seemed desperate, like he really wanted to know Eddie’s answer. Eddie wondered if Richie hoped he would say yes.

“Fine. Maybe I do.” Eddie looked down at his shoes again, feeling a blush form on his cheeks.

“Yeah?” Richie smiled again. “Maybe I wanna hang out again, too.”

 

_Thursday October 1 st, 2018 – 9:38 P.M –  Library EES_

           

“And that was it.” Eddie looked down at his lap. Bill gave him a skeptical look.

“Really? That’s it? You guys just walked away after all that flirting?

Eddie gave him an incredulous look. “That—that wasn’t flirting! That was just small talk between two classmates!”

Bill snickered. “Some small talk.”

Eddie glared, and then looked down. “Well, he did actually give me his number.”

Bill pouted. “See! You’re leaving stuff out!” He crossed his arms like a child. Eddie sighed exasperatingly.

“I know, I’m sorry. It’s just…the stuff he said afterwards is too awkward for me to say. Even with you.” Eddie avoided Bill’s eyes.

“Oh?” Bill raised an eyebrow, mouth curling up into a grin. “Come on, it can’t be that bad.”

Eddie tucked his cold hands between his bare thighs, trying to warm them. “Trust me, it’s that bad. Anyways, it’s getting late. I should probably head back to my room. And don’t you have a Bio test tomorrow?”

Eddie shook his head. “Hey, at least you can study beforehand. I can’t believe my grade in Calculus is going to be an F because of that stupid quiz.”

Bill started to get up, along with Eddie. “Why didn’t you just look at Richie’s paper? I mean, he was literally offering it up to you. It could have been an easy A.”

Eddie scowls at him. “Bill, you know I’m not a cheater!” He huffs up his chest. Bill gives him a flat look.

“Eddie, we both know it’s not so much a cheating thing than an excessive amount of pride thing.”

Eddie pouted, knowing Bill was right. He would’ve continued peeking at Richie’s paper if Richie hadn’t caught him.

“Also,” Bill said after a little bit. “That kid’s a fucking genius.” Eddie blinked, confused.

“What?” he asked. Bill led them both to their dorm building.

“You said he scanned your notes before the quiz, right? And he remembered everything! I wonder if he has like, photographic memory or something.”

Eddie suddenly blushed, looking down at his shoes. He remembered the end of him and Richie’s conversation. Bill noticed this.

“Why are you getting so red?” he asked, laughing a little. “Okay, there is definitely so much more to the story that you’re not telling me.”

Eddie gives him a pitiful look. “I’m sorry. It’ll be too awkward.” He simply cannot tell Bill what else happened. No way. Bill was definitely his best friend, but Eddie was too embarrassed to tell him.

When they reach their two different dorm buildings, Eddie leans up on his toes to hug Bill, promising to see him tomorrow. Eddie slides his key in the machine and the door opens. When he gets to his room, he opens the door quietly, peeking to see if his roommate is already in there. He is.

His roommate is a nice guy, but also kind of reserved. He was very polite, and always cooked Eddie breakfast.

 In the two weeks they knew each other, his roommate seemed to be very clean and tidy—and Eddie could not be any happier. He hated mess; it made him feel too anxious. He liked things in a neat and precise way, and was so happy his roommate was the same way.

Eddie closes the door quietly behind him. He sees his roommate intensely studying his textbook on his lap, moving a little in his swirly chair. Eddie plops down on his bed in front of him.

“Hey Stan,” Eddie says. He places his backpack carefully on the floor against the wall. Stan looks up and smiles.

“Hey! You’re pretty late today. Did something happen?”

Eddie usually came back from Calculus class as soon as it ended, but today, he had spent that extra time with Richie and also Bill at the library. He was two hours late.

Eddie shook his head. “No, nothing happened. I just caught up with my friend. What are you studying for?”

Stan shook his head, annoyed. “Biology. Who the fuck gives a test in the second week of school?”

Eddie perked up. “Bio? Do you have it first class tomorrow?”

Stan blinks. “Yeah, why?” He looks down at his textbook again. Eddie opens his mouth to say something like, ‘Oh my friend Bill is in that class. You guys should meet!’ but he feels like that’s kind of awkward—like, forcing the friendship. So Eddie closes his mouth.

Besides, he knows that Stan already has a close friend. He doesn’t know who, but Stan can go hours on the phone with him. When Eddie wakes up in the middle of the night, he hears Stan’s soft voice on the phone, his friend ranting about something. It’s weird though; every time Stan replies to his friend, he sounds annoyed or bored. But Stan always calls his friend first, never being the first one to hang up.

Eddie can’t help but find that a little cute. Stan pretending like he didn’t like talking to his friend when he so obviously did. Eddie made a mental note to meet Stan’s friend one day. He wanted to see the person who made this quiet boy finally open up and talk for hours at a time.

Eddie yawns, tired from the day. He goes in the bathroom and changes into his pajamas, slipping into the warm comfort of his bed. He begins to flutter his eyes shut, remembering everything that happened.

He still felt bad about not telling Bill the rest of the story. Eddie opened his eyes again, staring up at the ceiling. He could remember the rest of the conversation clearly.

 

_Thursday October 1 st, 2018 – 8:09 P.M – Building AD, Parking Lot 3C_

“Yeah?” Richie smiled again. “Maybe I wanna hang out again too.”

Eddie turned around. “I told you, it’s not even ‘hanging out’.” He began walking again. The two were now just walking in a circle in the vast parking lot.

Richie smirked. “You’re right. We could do other things besides ‘hanging out’.” His suggestive tone made Eddie bite his lip. He could feel Richie’s stare on him. Eddie mustered up the courage to look at him.

“How did you know I was gay?” The words are tumbling out of his mouth before he can stop it, remembering Richie’s earlier comment about him ‘taking the D.’

Richie snorts. “Oh baby, you make Chris Colfer look straight.”

Eddie smacks him on the shoulder, hard. Richie stumbles over his legs, laughing obnoxiously. Richie’s laughter catches in his throat, and then he’s quiet. Before Eddie can look over, Richie’s hand reaches out and just grabs his chin, making him look up at Richie. Eddie blinks, fluttering his eyelashes at the sudden contact, looking up.

And maybe it’s the lamp post light that shines down on them, or the fact that Eddie is finally really face to face with Richie, but Eddie sees how _gorgeous_ Richie is. Richie’s eyes are the darkest and the most soulful thing he’s ever seen, his lips chapped and full, mesmerizing. There’s a stubble on his chin and above his upper lip—subtle, but there. Eddie peeks up at Richie through his eyelashes, kind of shyer now that he knows Richie is hot as fuck.

“That. Right there.” Richie says quietly. Eddie blinks, eyelashes fluttering. Richie breathes steadily through his nose, and they’re so close that Eddie can feel the air hit his face.

“That fucking-- Bambi doe-eyed look. It makes you look so…submissive. Too submissive to be straight.” Richie leans his head back, watching Eddie react to his words through half-lidded eyes.

Eddie feels kind of offended. Or so he tells himself.

“I-I’m not submissive!” he stutters out. He meant to say it in a ‘Fuck you who’re you calling submissive!’, but it came out in a more ‘Um, am I submissive?’ way.

Richie chuckles at him, moving the hand from his chin to the side of Eddie’s neck, holding him there.

“I mean, don’t get me wrong, Eds. You’re like a feisty ball of fire filled with rage and spunk—but that’s in public, you know?” He places his other had on the other side of Eddie’s neck. “Things change in the bedroom,” Richie says. “Something about that intimate darkness and the feeling of exposed skin.”

Eddie’s breath hitches. He’s looking up at Richie like a curious child, completely captivated in Richie’s words. Richie smirks. He brings a hand up to Eddie’s hair, fixing some of the curls that drooped down.

“I think you’d change, Eds. You’d definitely be more submissive,” He brings a hand to Eddie’s cheek, rough fingers rubbing the soft skin.

“Yeah. I think you’d let someone do whatever they wanted to you,” he says lowly. “You’d probably beg for it, too. I can just see it, baby. Your innocent fucking eyes, those red lips shiny with spit, and those thighs—oh shit, those _fucking_ thighs, Eds.” Richie’s hands twitch, like he’s trying not to reach down at Eddie’s ass. He settles for grabbing Eddie’s chin again, kind of harsher this time.

“You’d be a lot less ballsy,” Richie raises his eyebrow. “You’d know your place. And you know where that is?” Richie smirks, not waiting for an answer. “On your hands and knees, face down and ass up, waiting to get fucked like the good little bitch you are.”

Eddie can’t help it—he moans. His eyes flutter shut, and his mouth opens, letting out a soft and high-pitched moan. He bites his lower lip, feeling the blood rush up to the skin where his teeth are pinching. He’s breathing a little heavier, almost panting.

When he opens his eyes again, Richie’s eyes are almost predatory; watching Eddie’s face with an almost hungry look. But all of a sudden, Richie blinks twice, and his nostril flares once. He straightens up a little, and he lets go of Eddie. He turns around and starts walking again, this time placing a large hand on the small of Eddie’s back, pushing him gently to walk with him. Eddie follows blindly, still a bit dazed.

It’s only after they start walking that Eddie realizes how embarrassed he was. How the fuck did Richie make him moan just from his words? He also couldn’t believe the confidence Richie had; saying those vulgar words to someone you’ve never talked to before.

It’s quiet for a couple of minutes, and Eddie avoids Richie’s eye, clearly still embarrassed.

“So,” Richie clears his throat. “There was a lot of moaning going on today.” He’s grinning, and Eddie is blushing like a madman.

“Shut up shut up you’re so fucking annoying I hate you oh my god,” Eddie mumbles in a string of words, making Richie let out an amused chuckle. Richie stops walking and holds a hand out in front of Eddie.

“Hey, give me your phone.” Richie waits for Eddie to pull it out and unlock it, and then takes it in his hand, typing something in. Eddie looks down shyly when he realizes that Richie’s giving him his number.

When he gives him his phone back, Eddie’s staring at a blank iMessage Screen with the screen name saying—oh. Eddie glares up Richie, feeling his stomach flutter. The name that Richie typed in for himself read: _Daddy._

“Seriously?” he asked unbelievably.

Richie flashed him a mischievous grin. “Hey, you said you liked older men! And here I am!”

“You’re like, barely two years older than me.”

Richie gives him a mock stern look. “Listen young boy, don’t be giving Daddy that attitude.”

Eddie can’t help the giggle that escapes his mouth. Richie’s eyes soften at the sound, watching Eddie with a look that Eddie can’t figure out.

Richie looks down momentarily.

“But no uh, I wasn’t lying when I said I’ve got you covered. If you need help with studying or have any questions, ring me, okay? Or also, if you just want to do the thing we did today again—you know, _not_ hang out.” Richie ruffled the hair on his head. Eddie didn’t bother fixing it this time, and gave him a genuine smile.

“Thank you,” he said. Richie raised his eyebrows.

“Wow. He actually knows how to give a compliment.”

“Fuck you.”

“And he’s back.”

Eddie shakes his head a little, trying to hide the smile by looking down. Riche gives him one last look before turning around to head to his own dorm building. But Eddie can’t help but feel curious about something.

“Um, Richie?”

The taller boy turns around. “Yeah Eds?”

Eddie fumbles with his fingers. “What did you mean-- about my thighs?” he asks timidly, remembering Richie’s words earlier.

Richie’s eyes flicker down to them, and he smirks. He looks back at Eddie’s face.

“Let’s just say I’m glad I have photographic memory,” he grins, looking at Eddie’s confused face. “Makes it a lot easier for me to, you know, rub one out.” He says the last words filthily, and grabs his crotch through his jeans shamelessly and thrusts his hips up once. Eddie’s face turns scarlet once again. Richie just laughs, turning around again.

“See you later, kid!”

Eddie feels his knees go a little weak.

_Thursday October 1 st, 2018 – 10:49 P.M – Dormitory 2A, Fifth Floor, Room 2069_

Eddie sighs deeply, staring up at his ceiling. He’s completely exhausted—mentally, not physically. He can’t help but wonder why Richie wants to hang out with him again. Or maybe he was just being friendly. Richie had made a lot of sexual comments towards him, but Eddie felt like Richie wasn’t gay. Not really. He just didn’t have the vibe.

But then again, no straight guy would’ve said what he said to Eddie. So maybe he was bi? Eddie sighed softly, feeling his heart hammer harder with every moment that he remembered Richie’s dark and hard eyes, filled with rawness. He wanted to look into them again—no, he wanted to stare into them. For hours. For days.

Eddie felt his stomach churn. Why was he feeling this way? Only hours after meeting the boy? Can someone really have such an effect on you after such a short time? Eddie didn’t believe in love at first sight. Eddie’s eyes widened at the sudden thought.

Love.

Eddie could feel his mind racing way too fast for his own comfort. He rolled onto his stomach, forcefully closing his eyes, hoping that sleep would come quick and shut his overthinking brain down.

When sleep does come, it comes right after the image of Richie’s face in his mind.


	2. Step Two: Take Him Out For Breakfast At Six

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lol studying what is studying ??

_Sunday October 4 th, 2018 – 5:03 A.M – Eddie Kaspbrak’s iPhone iMessages with ‘Daddy’_

 

**_Daddy: hye_ **

**_Daddy: hey_ **

**_Daddy: u pu yte_ **

**_Daddy: jesus fufking chrisr_ **

**_Daddy: i mant u up yet_ **

_Eddie: why the fuck cant you type properly_

**_Daddy: i cant find my fufking contafcts_ **

**_Daddy: did i wake up ?_ **

**_Daddy: u up ?_ **

_Eddie: no fuckface i always wake up at fucking five on sundays_

**_Daddy: jeeeeeezus ur not a morning person_ **

_Eddie: no shit now let me go back to sleep_

**_Daddy: wiat_ **

**_Daddy: wait_ **

**_Daddy: lets get breakfast_ **

_Eddie: now ?_

_Eddie: what the actual fuck is wrong with you_

**_Daddy: what ur already awake_ **

**_Daddy: come on you can get donuts_ **

**_Daddy: we can get coffee or_ **

**_Daddy: PUMKIN SPICE LATTe cause tis october and ur a basic bitch_ **

**_Daddy: ill pay for everything_ **

_Eddie: and a fruit cup_

**_Daddy:_ ** _**the fuck who eats those**_

_Eddie: buy me one or leave me alone_

**_Daddy: fine fine just get ur ass over here_ **

_Eddie: wheres ‘here’_

**_Daddy: dormitory 2F second floor room 934_ **

_Eddie: is that ur room_

**_Daddy: no its my buddys room hes dying to meet u_ **

**_Daddy: of course its my fucking room dumbfuck_ **

_Eddie: please like u have any friends_

**_Daddy: ur my friend_ **

**_Daddy: hopefully with benefits ;)_ **

_Eddie: yeah hopefully ill have the benefit of stabbing u in ur sleep one day_

**_Daddy: ooh kinky_ **

**_Daddy: tryna tell me ur into knife play ?_ **

_Eddie: its way too early for this shit_

_Eddie: k im heading out now r u sure u gave the right address_

_Eddie: i swear to god im gonna fucking lose it if u made a typo_

_Eddie: again_

**_Daddy: come on baby have a little faith in daddy_ **

_Eddie: ugh stop calling urself fucking daddy_

**_Daddy: why so u can do it for me instead ;)_ **

_[Read at 5:26 A.M]_

_Sunday October 4 th, 2018 – 5:41 A.M – Dorm Building 2F, Second Floor Hall 928-945_

Eddie walked slowly in the hall, reading the numbers in his head.

929, 930, 931—which one was it again? Eddie thought as he looked down at his phone. When he reaches the door with the number 934 on it, he knocked lightly on the door.

Eddie still couldn’t figure out if this was weird; he’d only had one full conversation with Richie—on that Thursday night. And then a text conversation three days later—this morning. And now here he was at Richie’s dorm room, for breakfast at 6.

After a moment, the door opened. Eddie was surprised to see that it wasn’t Richie in front of him. Instead, it was a tall, well built, dark skinned boy who looked kind of confused. Eddie blinked.

His first thought—Richie made a fucking typo on the address, even after Eddie told him to double check. But then, he wondered if Richie was just messing with him. Waking him up at 5 in the morning to come to some random dude’s dorm room, bribing him with those damn fruit cups that Eddie likes so much. Before Eddie could awkwardly apologize and rush back, the boy opened the door wider.

“I’m guessing you’re Eds?” the boy said.

 Eddie nodded dumbly, forgetting that ‘Eds’ wasn’t actually his proper name.

“I’m Mike—uh, Richie’s roommate. Please, come in.” Mike let Eddie in the room, closing the door behind him. Eddie looked at Mike, kind of confused. Mike quickly explained.

“Richie’ll come back soon, he’s just in the shower room. Before he left, he told me: ‘when Eds comes by, just let him in.’”

Eddie nodded. “Oh—by the way. My name is Eddie. Richie just calls me that.” Eddie rolls his eyes.

Mike laughs. “Richie and his nicknames,” he laughs. “Meet Homeschool!” he points at himself. Eddie laughs, confused.

“Oh, you were homeschooled then?” he asks.

“Yup. All of high school. Richie was the first friend that I made at this school.” Suddenly, Mike gestures out to him. “Please, sit down,” he points at one bed in the room, and it’s neatly made and tidy, so Eddie does sit down.

He looks at the other bed. It’s not made, the covers are hanging out and onto the floor. The sheets are messy and only done halfway, like someone began to work on them and then gave up. There’s a Macbook peeking out from under the pillow, attached to Beats headphones. Eddie sees a two pairs of socks splayed out randomly on the bed as well.

The entire bed is incredibly messy, and Eddie realizes that whole side is messy as well. The desk is covered with paper scraps and food wrappers. Eddie spots two whole boxes of empty Jawbreakers thrown on the floor beside the desk. Richie must really has a sweet tooth, he thought.

Eddie just sees a bunch of random shit all around that one side of the room. When he looks at the side he’s currently in, it’s the complete opposite. It’s spick and span, textbooks neatly tucked into the bookshelf, trash stored properly in the can, and he even notices a shine on the desk.

Eddie sighs. “Let me guess—that’s Richie’s side.” He points at the side opposite of him. Mike looks and makes a disgusted face, nodding.

“God, would it kill him to clean up a little?” Eddie remains bewildered at the mess.

“Right? Imagine having to see that shit every time you walk in the room. I’ve asked him to clean up, but he just says it’s not on my side of the room so it’s not my problem.” Mike shakes his head like a disapproving father. He looks at Eddie again.

“So how long have you known him for? I don’t think I’ve ever seen you around him.”

“Oh uh. He’s in my calculus class.”

“Ah. With Mr. Z?”

“Yup. He’s nice and everything, but I’m already failing his class.”

“Shit, really?” Mike looks at him with concern. “Well, you know Richie is actually a damn genius in math. Did you ask him for help?”

Eddie nodded, and then shook his head. “Well, I haven’t actually asked yet, but I’m planning to. Maybe today, after we get breakfast,” Eddie pauses. He looks at Mike. “So do you and Richie both just get up at 5 on the weekends?”

Mike sighs. “Richie’s an early bird. He usually wakes up at 4, but today he was feeling a little more tired—” Eddie’s jaw drops--“And when he wakes up, he makes such a ruckus that I wake up too. So we both kind of just wake up at 4 now.”

Eddie listens, wondering how the fuck Mike can be so nice and accommodating. Eddie realizes he could never bunk with Richie—who the hell gets up at fucking four? He still can’t wrap his head around it.

Suddenly, the door opens, Richie walks in. Eddie has to tilt his head up even more now that he’s sitting down. His breath catches in his throat.

Richie’s hair is wet from his shower, making it extra curly and tousled. There’s a curl just in front of his eyes, a water droplet hanging off the bottom. His eyes are kind of red on the sides, making the dark of his eyes more prominent against the red. Eddie remembers reading that some people’s eyes got red after a hot shower, so that must’ve been it. His lips are a cherry red, like he’s been biting them for the past half hour.

He honestly looks kind of like a vampire right now, but it’s not what catches Eddie’s attention. Richie’s only wearing a pair of Adidas sweatpants and black shoes, shirtless. Eddie finds himself staring at Richie’s abs. (He honestly didn’t think Richie had any) There’s still some water droplets on him, making him look like he came out of a model shoot. Eddie realizes in that exact moment that holy _shit_ Richie’s body is exactly his type. He unconsciously bites his lower lip, and his cheeks redden when he looks up to find Richie smirking at him, closing the door.            

“Enjoying yourself, Eds?” He walks over to his dresser, pulling open a drawer. Eddie closes his mouth, glancing at his back muscles. He looks away quickly.

“Can you just get dressed so we can go?” he grits out through his teeth. Richie opens a drawer and pulls out t-shirt, looking at Eddie again. He seems so much taller and bigger now for some reason, and Eddie feels a little weak in the knees.

“Something tells me you don’t want me to get dressed,” Richie says, grinning. Arrogant asshole, Eddie thinks. But he puts on a calm face and rolls his eyes.

“Don’t flatter yourself.”

“Why would I flatter myself when I’ve got you to do that?” Richie slips on his shirt, pulling it down and covering the rest of his exposed skin. Eddie can finally look back at him—or glare back at him. Richie takes out a sweater and slips it on, pulling the sleeves up, exposing his forearms and he sweeps a hand through his hair.

While Richie gets his wallet and phone, Eddie turns to Mike. When he does though, Mike has this kind of puzzled facial expression, looking back and forth between Eddie and Richie.

“Um, it was nice meeting you, Mike,” Eddie says with a small smile. The puzzled expression is gone, and Mike gives him a genuine smile.

“You too, Eddie.”

Richie sighs loudly. “Jesus, you guys are talking like an old vegan couple.” Eddie turns around at him, looking at him weirdly. Before he can open his mouth, Richie places a hand on his lower back, gently pushing him to the door and opening it.

“Come on, lets go. I’m so fucking hungry.” Richie groans out when they’re walking down the hall. The hall is dimly lit, the sky still dark outside. When he and Richie start walking outside, Eddie decides not to focus on the fact that Richie’s hand is still on his back.

 

_Sunday October 4 th, 2018 – 7:37 A.M – LandView Outlet Mall, 3rd Floor, Food Court B_

“So, now I’m holding this big old fishing rod, right? And I’m talking about those really heavy duty ones with the fucking 5 inch hooks, okay,” Richie takes a sip out of his coffee, pausing the story. Eddie bites at his donut, eagerly waiting. Richie swallows.

“And you know, I’m putting the worm on the hook for the bait and shit. It’s fun, it’s good, it’s swell. And then, I’m ready to throw the line in, right? So I stand up, throw the rod back as far as my good arm would let me, and push foreword as much as I can, hoping to get the line way out there. But, it didn’t go very far at all.

“In fact,” Richie takes a sip again. “It never made it past my arm. The hook slammed right into the back of my fucking head and dug through the skin of my scalp when I pulled.”

Richie finishes his coffee, gulping down nosily. Eddie’s jaw drops open, not caring that he has a mouth full of chewed up food. Richie laughs at Eddie’s reaction, reaching over and shutting Eddie’s jaw with his hand, reminding him to chew. Eddie does, and then swallows.

“T—And then what?” he sputters out, holding his half eaten chocolate-custard filled donut.

Richie nods. “Okay, so. At first, I don’t even realize. I’m like—where’d the hook go, you know? I’m spinning around like a fucking dog chasing its own tail, trying to find the end of my line. And then—like a late reaction-- I feel this sharp, _horrible_ pain in the back of my head, and when I reach back to touch it, I feel the metal of the hook, wedged into my scalp. When I pulled my hand back, blood was dripping off my palm.

“Next thing I know, I hear my uncle screaming, and the fucker scared me so much, I tumbled backwards and fell right on my back—and on my head. Of course, that only made the hook dig deeper into my head.”

Eddie is mortified. He wonders if Richie’s making this all up.

“You’re making this all up,” he accuses. The chocolate on his donut is melting on his fingers where he’s holding it. He takes a bite.

Richie wipes his mouth with a tissue, raising his eyebrows. He suddenly turns around a little, showing Eddie the back of his head. He pulls away some curls, exposing a long, dark scar on the scalp. Eddie gasps, and Richie turns back around, smug.

“Fine. I believe you,” Eddie says. “So go on, what happened next?” Eddie doesn’t even bother trying to hide his eagerness, like he did at first.

Richie places his hands on his lap. “Well, I must’ve fainted after I fell, because the next thing I remember is waking up in the emergency room, lying down on my face.

“The back of my head was completely fucking numb, but also really cold. I realized they had to shave that part of my head to stitch it back up. When the doctor came in, he said that to get the hook out, they had to spend hours trying to get it out safely, which only made the wound bigger and deeper. It ended up being 9 stitches.”

Eddie gulped, trying to process all of the information. He took a slow bite out of his donut, looking at Richie with amazement.

“How the fuck did you manage to live through that?” He asks incredulously.

“I guess God was merciful enough to not let me die a virgin.”       

Eddie raises his eyebrows. “Oh, and look, He’s still being merciful to this _day_.”

Richie laughs loudly. “Damn, kid. That one hurt,” he clutches his chest dramatically, making a pained face. Eddie beams, and finishes his donut with one last bite, shoving the last part in his mouth. Richie gets up and stretches his arms over his head, letting out an obnoxious groan.

“We should go,” he says. “I kind of want to check out some places.” He smiles down at Eddie, who gets up as well.

When he does, Richie is suddenly fixated on his mouth. Eddie slows down his chewing, kind of nervous and confused.

Suddenly, Richie reaches out his hand and gently cups Eddie’s chin, kind of like how he did on Thursday night. Eddie stops chewing and swallows, looking up at him. He feels a wave of déjà vu hit him.

Richie brushes a long thumb over the corner of his mouth, and Eddie feels something wet slide over as he does. It must’ve been the custard from his donut that came out while he was finishing it.

Richie looks like he’s contemplating something, and then rubs the custard with his thumb across Eddie’s lower lip. He smears the white cream agonizingly slowly, like he’s trying to savor the moment. Suddenly, Eddie feels his thumb dip down to under his lips, smearing some custard there. Richie pulls back, looking down at him with a smirk.

Eddie blinks, and then licks his lips, wiping his mouth with the back of his sleeve. He grabs his small backpack, taking a long sip from his straw, feeling Richie’s eyes on him. He turns back and starts walking, trying to ignore his pounding heart.

“I’m still waiting for that fruit cup!” he calls back to him, hearing Richie follow a moment later. Richie sighs loudly, swinging an arm over Eddie’s shoulder.

“Spoiled bitch.”

 

 

_Sunday October 4 th, 2018 – 8:23 A.M – LandView Outlet Mall, 1st Floor, ‘Zuke’s Scooters’_

Eddie swings his legs while sitting on the store counter, happily eating from a rainbow fruit cup. He stabs his fork in the strawberries and watches Richie and the store employee intensely conversing about a fucking skateboard.

“Yeah yeah yeah, I know its 56 Pro, but what about the risers? I need the 1/8 inch riser, and I know for a fact the Pro doesn’t come with it. Don’t bullshit me, man.” Richie leans his head back cockily.

The employee rubs smiles tightly, and sighs. “I must say, you’ve really done your research, and you’re right. The risers don’t come to the 8th for the Pro. But how about the bearings?”

Eddie blinks as he chews, completely lost in their conversation. After Richie had brought him his fruit cup, he insisted that he had to check out this skateboard store—apparently Richie was a skateboard fanatic.

When Eddie got inside the store though, he realized this was a legitimately expensive store. The lowest price tags he’d seen was at _299.00_.

Eddie thought about making fun of how Richie spent his money, but he looked down at the fruit cup that Richie bought for him and shut his mouth.

“Eds!”

Eddie’s head perks up to where Richie called him.

“Come here!” Richie looks back to the employee, resuming his talk but holding a board in his hand.

Eddie hopped down and trotted over, placing his fork in his cup. “What?” he asked. Richie took his fruit cup—Eddie made a whining noise—and set it on the counter. He pushed the skateboard in Eddie’s hands.

Eddie frowned. “The fuck are you doing?”

Richie sighed exasperatingly. “Just hold it. Remember how it feels.”

Eddie obliges, a few minutes of awkward silence passing through. Then Richie is taking the board from him and replacing it with another one. Eddie looks down. This one is kind of heavier, and seems more thick.

“It’s heavier,” Eddie says quietly, not really sure what Richie wants to hear. But he must have said the right thing because Richie is makes an approving sound and nods shortly.

“Okay, good. I thought that, too.” He takes the board from Eddie’s hand and hands it to the employee. He picks up Eddie’s fruit cup and places is it in his hand, and Eddie takes it.

Richie grins at him, and picks a hand up to Eddie’s head, ruffling his hair. Eddie dramatically steps away, hiding the blush on his cheek. _Calm down, calm down, calm down._

“Okay, so how much is it all?” Richie digs through his back pocket and takes out his wallet. The employee thinks for a little bit.

“You seem like you know your stuff, so I’m not even going to try ripping you off. All in all…400. That’s my lowest.”

Eddie stares, and looks up at Richie. Richie already has a smile on his face, and pulls out four hundred bills easily from his wallet.

“Alright, man. Thanks for your time.” Richie hands over the money and goes over to the counter to fill out his information, leaving Eddie gaping behind him. How did he even have that much money? And how could he spend it just like that?

When Richie and the man come back, Eddie hears the employee say to come back for the board within 3-5 days, and bids them both a good day. Eddie stabs his mango with his fork, looking down when he and Richie leave the store.

“That was a lot of money for a fucking skateboard.” Eddie says finally.

Richie just shrugs. “That money was gonna leave my wallet some day. Might as well spend it on something I really like.”

Eddie swallowed his mango.

“How do you do that?” he asked genuinely. Richie looked at him.

“Do what?”

“How do you like, ‘live in the now’, and not worry about the future?” Eddie asks. He sighs. “I wish I could do that.”

Richie hums. “You worry about the future a lot?”

“Yes, constantly. I can’t help it. It’s like a reflex at this point.”

“I’m guessing your mom started that, though. Am I right?” Richie asked gently. Eddie nodded.

“Worrying was like her version of praying; do it enough, and you might just be okay. But when you instill that idea into a six-year-old’s mind, a part of their youth slips away,” Eddie laughs humorlessly. “I wasn’t allowed to have anything in my room—it was just a bed and a table. All thirty of my pills laying in a row on the table along with my inhaler.”

Richie stayed quiet for a while. “She wouldn’t let you leave, right?” Eddie didn’t expect him to remember that.

“Yeah, her—and the chain around my ankle wouldn’t let me leave.”

Richie stopped walking, staring at him. Eddie nervously looked down at his fruit cup. He ate another mango, trying to act unbothered.

“She chained you inside the house?” his voice was quieter now. Eddie looked down at his cup, scraping the fork against the watermelons.

“Yeah um. I made the mistake of going past our front lawn—that was like my limit—and she freaked out, and chained me to my bed post. Don’t worry though, like the ankle cuff was padded with cloth and the chain was like, really long. I could go around the house and everything, but just not past the front door. The only time she let me out of the chain was on weekends for my hospital visits.”

Richie scoffs. “She couldn’t lock the door-- she had to fucking chain you in?”

Eddie shrugged. “I guess she figured I would find a way past all the locks. Besides, I told you, she went a little insane.”

“A little?” Richie sighs, shaking his head. “Damn, kid. You’ve been through some shit.”

Eddie smiled sadly, not saying anything.

Richie paused for a moment.

“Did you have toys?” Richie asks a second later. “Or like, any stuffed animals?”

Eddie looked down. “No,” he said quietly, hating how sad he sounded.

Richie doesn’t say anything, just swings an arm around his shoulder, making a sudden turn. Suddenly, Eddie looks up and finds Richie leading them into the ‘Build-A-Bear’ workshop.

Eddie groans loudly, looking up at Richie.

“Just because I didn’t have a stuffed animal when I was younger doesn’t mean I want one _now—_ at fucking 19.”

Richie’s grinning, leading them in anyways. He turns to Eddie before letting go.

“Hey, when’s your birthday?”

Eddie looks up at the random question.

“July 1st, why?”

“Just wondering.” Richie sticks his hands in his pocket, looking at the different bears. Eddie walks with him.

“Well, when’s yours?” he asks.

Richie suddenly pulls him to the first Station.

“Okay, first step: choose a bear,” he says chirpily, completely ignoring Eddie’s question. Eddie stares at him for a second, before turning to the different choices. He sighs dramatically, annoyed that Richie’s making him do this. Or so he tells himself.

He points at a bear at the end of the row. Richie grins and picks it up for him. They move on to the Stuffing station. They both bicker along the way, Eddie complains about the wheel being too hard move and Richie calling him a ‘whiny noodle’. Eddie throws some cotton at him. Richie throws some back. An employee has to walk over and tell the two grown men to stop playing with the cotton.

When they reach the final step, both of them are done with building the bears. Eddie quickly glances at Richie’s bear. It has black fur with a bright red Hawaiian shirt, and then a pair of green and yellow speckled pants. It doesn’t match at all, and it’s hideous to look at. Plus, the eyes look a bit lopsided.

 Eddie then looks back happily at his own bear. The bear has fluffy white fur, and has a cute, pastel pink bow wrapped on it’s neck. Eddie dressed it in a pastel blue velvet sweater, with three small buttons. To top it all off, he places an adorable little hat on the head, near one ear. The hat has both the pastel pink and green on it, everything matching perfectly. Eddie is pretty pleased with himself. He fixes up his bears clothes, patting down the fur to smooth it down.

He looks up at Richie with a proud grin, about to brag that his bear is so much better than Richie’s, when he barely catches Richie’s eyes quickly tear away from Eddie’s face and down to his bear. Richie keeps his eyes glued down, fiddling with his bear’s clothes.

Eddie freezes a little, feeling hot in his cheeks. Had Richie been staring at him this whole time? And if he was, why did he try to hide it? If Richie was caught, he was usually blunt about it—like he did before. Eddie looks down again blushing, remembering earlier this morning.

 

_Sunday October 4 th, 2018 – 6:12 A.M – ‘Bakes N Cakes’_

“Alright, how many?” Richie peers through the glass at the doughnuts, right beside a whole variety of baked deserts. He pulls out his wallet from his back pocket.

Eddie looks with him, pondering. “I want two. How many are you having?”

Richie shakes his head. “None. I don’t like sweets that much.”

Eddie guffaws. “You’ve gotta be kidding!”

Richie looks at him, confused. “What?” he asks genuinely.

“You eat _so_ much candy! Like the Airheads, and then back at your dorm, I saw two whole empty boxes of Jawbreakers!”

Richie just shrugged. “Just ‘cause I eat them, doesn’t mean I really want to.”

Eddie frowns. “Then why do you have them?”

“They’re kind of a helpful substitute for when I feel like having a smoke. I’m trying to cut down.” Richie continues peering through the glass.

Eddie blinks. “Why? Was it becoming a problem?” The words tumble out of his mouth before he can stop it, and Richie looks at him with an amused glint in his eyes.

Eddie looks away. “I mean, you don’t have to tell me, I was just—“

“Three packs a day. Two on the occasional good days,” Richie says. “Took me fucking cardiac arrest to make me realize it was becoming a problem.” He turns to Eddie, who quickly closes his opened jaw from shock. Richie smiles.

“Alright, choose. Which ones do you want?” He points through the glass. Eddie swallows, and looks at the donuts, taking his time. He points at the two his mouth waters for. A strawberry frosted donut and a chocolate custard-filled donut. Richie nods once, calling over the lady behind the counter, handing her a ten-dollar bill from his wallet. He also asks for a Dark Roast Coffee for himself.

When he’s putting his wallet back in his pocket, Eddie bites his lip, thinking about what Richie said. He suddenly feels like such a stranger to Richie. They only had one prior conversation, and even though Richie had revealed stuff about his childhood, Eddie felt like it wasn’t enough.

Eddie wanted to know more. He didn’t want to feel like a stranger. He wants to know this boy—everything. All of the ups, all of the downs. He wonders if Richie would even tell him. His thinking is suddenly interrupted by Richie’s voice.

“Eds, get some napkins, I’ll find a table,” Richie says as the woman hands him their box of donuts and a coffee cup. Eddie blinks, and then turns around, trying to find the napkin dispenser. He finds it on top of the counter desk, kind of high up on the wall.

He walks over and reaches up, but his hand isn’t even near the dispenser. Eddie frowns and pouts as he tries again, wondering who the fuck thought it was a good idea to put it so high up there. He tries one more time, but his fingers don’t even graze the bottom of the tissue paper.

 Eddie finally gives up, and then thinks about calling Richie from the table to help him—but he quickly strikes that though. Richie would surely make fun of him—tease him about being so damn short. No. Eddie couldn’t let that happen.

He turns around to find someone else when he almost bumps into Richie’s chest, his nose just brushing Richie’s shirt. He jumps a little, heart pounding from the scare. He cranes his neck to look up, wide eyes blinking up at Richie.

Richie must have set the donuts and coffee on a table and then come back because his hands are free, and he’s just smirking down at the boy below him.

“I thought you were finding a table…” Eddie trails off, not knowing his point. His voice is suddenly more quiet, timider.

“Yeah? Were you going to come ask me to help you?” Richie asked.

Eddie glared. “Fuck no. I don’t need your help getting some fucking tissues, you dick.”

“Okay. So get them.” Richie doesn’t budge, watching him with a blank expression.

“I will,” Eddie says, a little too sassily at that. He pauses, not wanting to reach up and then fail again—not while Richie is right there watching him. His eyes dart to the dispenser, and he plays with his fingers. When Eddie looks back at him, Richie is smiling wider now, like he’s trying to hold in his laughter. That bastard, Eddie thought.

“Whatever,” he says suddenly. “I don’t need tissues.” With that, he turns away and starts walking back to the table. It’s only a second before he feels Richie’s hand grip his bicep, pulling Eddie back until he’s in front of him again. Richie sighs, shaking his head with a little smile. With his other hand, he easily reaches for the napkins and pulls out a few.

“It’s okay to need some help, kid.” He places a few of the napkins in Eddie’s hand, and steps back. He puts his arm around Eddie’s shoulders, guiding them to the table. Eddie pouts.

“I know that! I just don’t want any help from _you._ ” Eddie hates how childish he sounds.

“Oh? I must be pretty special, then.”

Eddie snorts. “Yeah. Special as in retarded.”

He and Richie sit down at the table, and he takes out his strawberry donut, taking a huge bite. He had gotten seriously hungry on the way over, and this tasted like actual heaven. He took some more bites, trying to eat it as quickly as possible to fill his empty stomach.

Richie suddenly whistled. “Damn, baby, what else can you fit in that mouth?”

A small blush rose over Eddie’s stuffed cheeks, and he looked down, trying to quickly chew and swallow. It didn’t help that Richie was blatantly staring at him the whole way through, not even reaching for his coffee.

He took slower bites this time, still a little embarrassed. He finally looked up, just to see Richie already looking at him—still. He had a small smile on his face.

“What?” Eddie snapped, still mad about Richie’s comment. (Or flustered.)

Richie shrugged, taking his coffee in his hand. “You look cute.”

Eddie blinked, not expecting that response at all. Richie took a sip of his coffee and leaned foreword, resting his forearms on the table.

“So,” he said louder. “Wanna hear about my first fishing trip?”

 

_Sunday October 4 th, 2018 – 9:35 – Landview Outlet Mall, First Floor, Build-A-Bear_

As Richie pays for the bears, Eddie is still thinking about what happened. This morning, Richie had been blatant about staring, which led Eddie to think he was just being flirty like always. But just now, Richie had pretended like he wasn’t, even though Eddie knew for sure he was. It made no sense; what changed?

“Alright,” Richie had come back, grinning at Eddie and interrupting his thoughts. “Ready to take Little Eds home?”

Eddie rolled his eyes. He’d made the mistake of asking Richie what his bear should be called, and Richie wrote ‘Little Eds’ in the Bear Birth Certificate. Richie had named his Little Rich.

“I can’t believe you actually made me do this.” Eddie meant to say it in an annoyed voice, but it lost its annoyance while he was looking down at his bear, admiring his work. He grabbed his fruit cup from the counter again.

Richie just hummed, putting an arm around his shoulders again as they walked out the store. He took Eddie’s bear and put it in the bag so that Eddie could resume eating his cup.

“It’s just not right, you know?” Richie says as they walk slowly. “Every kid should have a stuffed animal, so, there you go.”

“I feel like you forget that I’m a grown man.”

“Can you blame me? You’re tiny as fuck—might as well be a child.”

Eddie stabbed Richie’s stomach with the end of his fork. “I’m not tiny! You’re just the size of a mountain troll! It’s unnatural.” Eddie pauses. “How tall are you anyway?”

“I’m not sure, wanna measure me?”

Eddie wonders if Richie means it in a dirty way. Then he mentally slaps himself for even having to wonder.

“Oh please. You were probably like, one of those freaks who measured their dicks in Spanish class.” Eddie feels a breeze hit him as they walk outside.

Richie snorts. “I was too busy getting hard in Spanish class for any measuring.”

Eddie chuckles a little. “What?” he asks genuinely, confused.

“This girl next to me was a fucking D-cup at thirteen. Not only that--she wore these slutty crop tops and apparently didn’t know what a bra was. Honestly, that class was fucking torture for me. Not that I was complaining, though.” Richie chuckles.

Eddie suddenly feels his chest harden, like cement was filling up in there. He smiles and rolls his eyes when Richie looks at him, but he can’t help but feel his heart slowly sinking. He was right—Richie wasn’t gay. If what Richie was saying was true, and Eddie knew it had to be because why would he lie—then he was either straight or bisexual.

Eddie thought about it, deciding that Richie could not be straight because he was always flirting with him. But at the same time, Richie hadn’t actually _done_ anything. Maybe Richie was always just joking with him, making fun, or trying to make Eddie embarrassed because it affected _him_ since he was actually gay. But then why had Richie been staring at him back in the bear store?

Eddie suddenly realized that Richie was talking that whole time he was thinking. He was in the middle of telling another one of his stories.

“—And then I just look over at him and _bam!_ The motherfucker grabbed the flamingo and—“ Before Richie could continue, Eddie stopped walking and interrupted him.

“Were you staring at me that whole time? Back at the bear store?” Eddie remembers the way Richie’s eyes quickly shot down, but he wanted to know for sure if he was looking.

Richie stops walking, closing his mouth slowly. He doesn’t face Eddie yet, just looks down at his feet for a second. He tucks his hands in his pockets, finally facing Eddie. He looks kind of…embarrassed. Eddie realizes this must be the first time Richie doesn’t have those cocky eyes on his face. Instead, they look sheepish and a little timid? Eddie is not used to this at all.

“Yeah, well. You were kind of asking for it.” Richie sounds a little defensive, and Eddie begins to feel a little giddy, knowing that he was right.

“What do you mean I was _asking_ for it?” Eddie laughs, and Richie looks up at him again, standing up a little straighter.

“Oh come on!” Now Richie was smiling. “Don’t act like you didn’t make an effort to look cuter today!”

Eddie’s heart swells. _Cuter._

He starts walking again. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Now it’s his turn to sound defensive.

Richie scoffs. “Yeah right. Those overalls? The fucking lip gloss?”

Eddie widens his eyes, cheeks reddening. It was true, he had worn his black overalls today with a pastel pink sweater underneath, leaving one strap hanging down. He _had_ worn sheer pink lip gloss today—but it wasn’t the first time. He had worn it when he felt like feeling extra cute—so Richie was right about him asking for it. But Eddie would go to his grave before admitting it out loud.

But Eddie was curious. “Is the lip gloss that obvious?” He asked, looking up at Richie through his eyelashes.

“Kind of. I mean, I only knew it was there from when I touched your lips this morning.” Richie gently grabbed Eddie’s face, (and Eddie was beginning to feel like it was becoming a habit), and swiped his thumb across Eddie’s lip gently. He took it off and showed Eddie his thumb, which had a line of shiny, pink lip gloss. “Left a stain,” Richie grinned.

Eddie looks foreword again, trying not to remember this morning. What _had_ Richie been doing anyway? With the white custard? Part of Eddie already knew, but he didn’t want to think about it just yet. Not with Richie so close to him.

They both walked around for a little bit, going in different stores and buying things they didn’t really need. Well, Richie buying Eddie things, really. Eddie had made Richie hold all of his bags for him, claiming that he still had to finish his fruit cup (and took his good old time doing so). Richie didn’t seem to mind though, just took the bags easily and put a hand behind Eddie’s back.

Finally, the two were done walking around, and could no longer ignore the fact that breakfast was long over, as it was now 11: 43 P.M.

“So,” Richie said finally. “Thanks for breakfast.”

“But you’re the one that paid?” Eddie said confusedly.

The corner of Richie’s mouth turned up a little. “Yeah, but…thanks for coming.” Richie says it genuinely, and stares down at Eddie with a serious expression.

Eddie’s feels his cheeks heat up a little. He doesn’t really know what to do, so he acts cool. “Oh. Well. I was awake anyway.”

“I thought you said I woke you up.”

Eddie sputters. “Ugh, okay, same thing. Whatever, you’re so annoying.”

Richie smiles at him, that familiar, amused glint in his eyes returning.

“What are you going to do for the rest of today?” Richie asks after a moment.

Eddie shrugs. “Nothing, probably. Just study for Chem and Calc probably.”

Richie’s eyebrows raise. “Oh, calculus? I can help you with that if you want.”

Eddie frowns, hating how dumb he feels. “Well, it’s not like I don’t get the material. And besides, didn’t you learn off of _my_ notes anyway before the test?”

“And that’s what I don’t get. If you wrote all the notes, how did you not remember them?”

“Well you were distracting me!” He regrets it as soon as it comes out his mouth. Richie raises his eyebrows.

“Oh? I distract you, Edward?”

Eddie wrinkles his nose. “Ugh, don’t call me by my full name, it gives me the creeps.”

Richie beams. “So you want me to go back to Eds?”

Eddie groans dramatically. “Why can’t you just call me Eddie? Like a normal person?”

“But it’s so boring. I’d have to rhyme it with something.”

Eddie’s eyes widen, and he sees Richie widen his mouth into a shit-eating grin.

“No—“

“Eddie Spaghetti!” Richie’s eyes gleamed, and Eddie was furious.

“I swear to god, if you actually call me that—“

“But don’t you like spaghetti, Eddie Spaghetti?” Richie laughed. Eddie kicked him in the shin. Richie laughed even harder. He put an arm around Eddie’s shoulder and started walking.

“But seriously. I know an easier way to remember the formulas,” Richie said. “Where’s your dorm? We can study together.”

Eddie’s stomach began to whirr. He knew for a fact that Stan was never at the dorm on Sundays. It would just be him and Richie, alone.

“Oh. Sure. It’s like, a ten-minute walk from here.” Eddie ignored the fluttering in his stomach.

Richie stomped his foot. “Lead the way, Spaghetti sir.” He saluted at Eddie, who elbowed him in the stomach.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little sneak peak of Chapter 3:
> 
> Richie doesn’t respond immediately. But Eddie feels his hands on his hips slowly travel up to Eddie’s sides. The soft motion is comforting—the way Richie’s big hands almost cover his entire waist, and Richie gives a slight squeeze as he’s rubbing up and down. Eddie gasps a little, letting his eyes slip shut.
> 
> “Yeah? You really don’t want that?” Richie whispers in his ear. “You don’t want to someone to cuddle up with in the cold? You don’t want someone holding you to sleep at night?” Richie’s hands start moving to his stomach. Eddie’s heart lurches when he realizes that one of Richie’s hand covers Eddie’s entire stomach. 
> 
>  
> 
> Updating this week!


	3. Step Three: Lean In To Kiss Him

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Little warning -- Mentions of past physical and drug abuse, and slightly NSFW...like barely .

_Sunday October 4 th, 2018 – 11: 43 A.M -- Dormitory 2A, Fifth Floor, Room 2069_

Eddie groaned loudly.

“But I don’t get _why_ you have to divide it.” He pouted and rest his chin on his hands, laying on his stomach and following Richie’s work, who was sitting cris-cross next to him.

“It’ll make sense later, just shut up and watch.”

Eddie sighed dramatically, but shifted a little closer to watch Richie solving the math problem anyway.

After about five minutes of Richie explaining when he finished the problem, he turned to Eddie, watching his face so he would know if Eddie didn’t get it. He didn’t have to watch for very long to get his answer.

“I don’t get it.”

Richie sighed. “You’re a lost cause.”

“Fuck you! You’re just not explaining it goodly!” Eddie whined.

Richie raised an eyebrow. “Goodly? We gonna have to go over your English too?”

“Not if you’re teaching it.”

“Kid, this shouldn’t even _have_ to be taught. It’s common sense,” Richie snickered and laid back against the headboard of Eddie’s bed. Eddie sat up, turning his body to face Richie with a scowl.

“Just tell me again, but slower this time. Really slow.” Eddie emphasized his last words. Richie sighed again and sat up a little straighter. He suddenly grabbed Eddie’s wrist and tugged him forward to sit next to him.

Eddie made a surprised noise, and shifted to get comfortable. He ignored how his left shoulder was kind on top of Richie’s broad ones, and their legs were tangled together. He may as well have been sitting in Richie’s lap. Eddie’s cheeks felt hot the more he thought about it. Thankfully, Richie began talking again, holding the sheet up to their faces as he did—very slowly.

This time, Eddie was actually understanding. He followed along seriously and nodded quickly whenever Richie asked him if he got it. He was beginning to feel hopeful—maybe he wasn’t doomed.

“Okay, I wanna try one now,” Eddie said a bit too excitedly. Richie hummed and handed him the paper. He noticed his pencil box was at the edge of the bed, so he went on his knees and reached over to grab the pencil, except it was kind of buried underneath everything. Eddie sighed as he couldn’t get the stupid thing. He reached further, stomach nearly touching the bed covers, still on his knees, and leaned foreword more, and then finally felt the pencil in his fingers.

When he settled back against the headboard and began working on the problem, he couldn’t help but noticed how still Richie was. If Eddie didn’t have eyes, he wouldn’t have even known that someone else was next to him. This was very uncharacteristic of Richie; he was always somehow moving—up till this moment. Eddie decided it wasn’t important, and refocused his mind on the math problem.

Eddie spoke to himself while he was working through it, and at one point wrote the wrong formula.

“Ugh.” Eddie looked at the foot of his bed again before reaching over again for his eraser. He had only gotten on his knees before Richie suddenly shot up from the bed. The sudden movement startled Eddie, and he placed his hands on the bed, wide eyes blinking up at Richie, kind of scared to move. Richie avoided his eyes.

“The bath—Where’s your bathroom?” Richie’s voice sounds kind of strained, and way deeper. Eddie sits back on his heels, wondering what the fuck was up with him.

“Um. Through there,” Eddie points, watching as Richie turns his face completely away and all but runs in there. Eddie hears the faucet turn on full speed as soon as the door closes, and it sounds like it’s…splashing against something? Eddie can imagine Richie splashing his face with the cold water. After about five minutes, he hears the faucet turn off, and a minute later the door opens.

Richie comes out, still kind of avoiding Eddie’s eyes. He awkwardly walks back to the bed, and Eddie looks back down on his math problem, determined to finish. He erases the wrong numbers he’d written, and starts the problem again.

After about five minutes, Richie is still silent, and Eddie can’t take it any more. Richie not talking creates an unsettling feeling in his stomach. He looks at Richie, stopping his writing.

“Why’re you being so weird?”

Richie looks him in the eye, not avoiding his gaze anymore.

“The fuck are you talking about?”

“You’re being so quiet. It’s weird.”

 “I just want you to focus! God knows you need to.”

 Eddie pokes him with the end of his pencil, and then goes back to his problem. He works for a few more moments and then finally finishes. He gives the paper to Richie and waits eagerly as the the boy scans over his work. Richie’s face is blank, not giving away anything.

“Eddie.” It’s weird to hear Richie say his actual name, and so seriously too. Eddie feels incredibly nervous.

“Yeah?” He whispers.

“You might not be a lost cause after all.” Richie grins at him.

Eddie sighs out of relief, beaming and smiling happily. Richie looks at him with a question in his eyes, smiling a bit.

“I’ve never seen someone get that fucking happy over math.”

“Shut up.”

“I didn’t mean it in a bad way!” Richie laughs. “It’s cute.”

Eddie avoids his gaze, and doesn’t say anything. He takes the paper again, pretending to study it when he’s just trying not to focus too much on Richie’s words. Then he picks up his pencil again and starts another problem. About five minutes in, he feels Richie shift over a little, so now their hips and shoulders are touching again.

“Hey.” Richie says after a moment.

“What.”

 “What’s your major?”

 “Medicine. I want to be a pediatric nurse. How about you?” Eddie finally turns his head, but his breath hitches when he realizes his nose is barely brushing Richie’s. Their faces are only centimeters apart, and Eddie immediately looks back at the paper and moves his hand, feeling his heart hammer in his chest. Richie doesn’t move though.

“Mechanical engineering. Minor in psych.”

Eddie hums. He’d already known that Richie had to have been majoring something in math.

“Why psych?”

Richie shrugs. “I’m naturally good at it. Besides, I like knowing what’s going through someone else’s head. Like having that kind of power.”

“That’s not possible—even if you study psychology.”

“Yeah it is. Human behavior—reading body language, noticing eye-behavior. All those little things reveal a lot more than you’d think, Eds.”

Eddie looks down, not knowing what to say. He wants to look at Richie, but he knows the close proximity will just make him panic. So he just keeps staring down at the sheet on his lap.

Richie continues, his voice a little lower. “I can tell what someone’s thinking, how they’re feeling in that exact moment,” Richie pauses. “Even when they’re not looking at me.”

Eddie looks up at the wall in front of him, wondering if Richie’s words are directed at him. He very slowly turns his head to look at Richie, and this time, his nose does brush against Richie’s. Had Richie gotten closer? He backs away just a little, but keeps his gaze in Richie’s eyes. He can see the corner of Richie’s mouth turned up a little. Eddie stares at him.

“Bullshit.”

Richie’s eyebrows raise. “You think?”

“I do, actually.” Eddie gives him a sarcastic smile. “No one can know exactly what someone’s thinking.”

“Want me to prove it then?”

“What?”

“I’ll prove it. I’ll tell you what you’re thinking.”

Eddie only feels a little nervous. “Fine. You’re gonna be wrong, anyway.” He clears his throat and entertains Richie, closing his eyes momentarily before opening them and locking contact with Richie’s, challenging him. Unless Richie is actually a wizard, there’s no way he can tell what Eddie will be thinking. So Eddie forces million thoughts to flicker through his head: _food, forks, bendy spoons, yoga, headbands._

But Richie suddenly looks down at his lips, pausing, like he’s thinking about something. Eddie feels his heart flutter. Richie leans in a little closer, almost like he’s not even aware that he’s doing so. Like in a trance.

Eddie’s breath catches in his throat, eyes widening as Richie only gets closer. He wants to say something—anything, but he can’t. He’s just frozen as Richie’s mouth gets closer and closer to his. Suddenly, Eddie feels Richie’s nose touch the side of his, and Eddie flutters his eyes shut, the image of them kissing flashing in his head, making him feel dizzy.

Suddenly, Richie pulls away, and the sudden movement makes Eddie open his eyes again, confused. The first thing he sees is Richie’s mile-long smirk.

“You were thinking of kissing me.”

Eddie stares. Richie laughs a little and puts his hands behind his head, stretching out his legs in front of him.

Eddie throws his pencil at him, hard. “That doesn’t fucking count, you fuck!”

Richie looks at him. “So you weren’t thinking about kissing me?”

Eddie sputters. “Only because you fucking put the thought in my head!”

“I think it’s been in there for a while now, Eds.” Richie smirks at him.

“You’re so fucking egotistical; I’m not attracted to you at all.”

Richie raises his eyebrows. “But you were gonna let me kiss you anyway?”

Eddie shrugs. “You bought me a lot of stuff—I figured I’d pay you back that way.”

Richie grins. “You realize you just described yourself as my sugar baby, right?”

Eddie’s face flushes. “I-I’m not your fucking sugar baby,” he stutters out, and then pauses. “What even is a sugar baby?”

Richie gives him a somewhat surprised look, and then goes back to his cocky grin. “A sugar baby’s basically a twink who gets pampered with money or treats by a typically older person,” Richie says, pausing for the dramatic effect. “And in exchange, they fulfill the sexual desires of that older person.”

Eddie blinks twice, and then once more. He clears his throat and then looks down to avoid Richie’s unwavering stare. He’s not really sure what to say. Eddie hates that he’s smart enough to know why there’s so much tension between them right now. He grows a little nervous, wondering if maybe Richie was expecting something after buying him breakfast and all those things. He begins to slightly panic at the thought, his ability to overthink worsening his anxiety. What if Richie expected Eddie to pay him back, but not with money, and instead his body?

“So…” Richie drawls out. “I think you should—“

Eddie opens the floodgate of words from his mouth. “Wait-- I’m not that kind of a person okay, and I know that I met up with you and that I let you buy me food and everything but that doesn’t mean I’m going to—“

Richie continues. “—Finish the problem.”

Eddie turns to him, confused and still a little breathless. “What?”

Richie gives him a small smile. “I think you should finish the problem,” he repeats, eyeing the paper in Eddie’s lap.

Eddie looks back down, realizing he never actually finished the math problem he was on. He takes a moment to process everything, and then begins to write tentatively. The markings of the pencil are the only noise in the room until he finishes. He hands it to Richie silently and leans back against the headboard, trying to calm his pattering heart.

After a few moments of Richie scanning the work, he nudges Eddie with his shoulder. Eddie looks up at him.

“You know you don’t owe me anything, right?” he says. “I spent my money on you today because I wanted to, and not because I expected something in return.”

Eddie feels his anxiety sink down, and he looks down at his lap to play with his fingers, biting his bottom lip. He looks up sheepishly at Richie.

“I’m sorry.”

Richie looks down at him, gaze softening a little.

“For thinking that _I_ was that kind of a person?” he’s smiling again now, and it makes the tension in the room go away a little. Eddie nods twice.

“Yeah. I can be kind of…paranoid sometimes.”        

Richie snorted.

“No shit,” he said. “But I get it. Knowing your mom, she probably spent her time telling you of ever horrible thing happening outside, right?”

Eddie nodded, a bit surprised at the fact that Richie guessed correct. “Yeah, she would. She wouldn’t even let me leave for college because she was so afraid.”

“I guess she changed her mind?” He gestured to Eddie’s dorm.

Eddie shook his head. “No, um. Right before my senior year of high school, she got sent to a hospital for the mentally ill. She’s still there right now.”

“Do you visit her?”

“I didn’t at first, but then I realized I would regret it later if I didn’t. And the first time I visited her, I told her that I forgave her for everything she did.”

Richie frowned. “Why?”

Eddie shrugged. “I was tired of being angry.”

Richie stared. “That’s not fair. She doesn’t get to just fuck up your life and be let off the hook.”

Eddie laughed softly, adjusting his knees in front of him. “She didn’t fuck up my life, Richie. She fucked up 17 years of it. I’ll have more years to come—hopefully. And I don’t want to spend those years stuck in the past.”

“Well, aren’t you just a wise, old sage.”

Eddie grinned. “Yeah,” he said. “But I wasn’t always. After she got sent to the hospital, I was sent to a foster family. They were really nice, and they had one boy who was my age. We became really close, and I told him how angry and hopeless I was, and he was the one who made me realize that I’m still young. I still have so much to live for. He helped through some pretty shitty times, and he’s still my best friend to this day.”

Richie listened, nodding when he finished. He leaned back against the headboard, slinging an arm around Eddie’s shoulder.

“You got lucky, Eds. Not every foster family is all rainbows and sunshines.”

Eddie turned his head to him, pondering.

“You have experience with foster homes?”

“Experiences, yeah. Sure wasn’t good.”

“What, um. What would happen?” Eddie asked, unsure of how to ask.

Richie turned to look at him, an unreadable look on his face. Eddie felt his cheeks heat up at his close gaze. Finally, Richie opened his mouth.

“Let’s just say that some men can’t handle their alcohol. Or their temper.”

Eddie blinked, not saying anything for a moment.

“How bad was it?” he asked quietly.

“I don’t remember,” he said. “I was high for most of the beatings.”

“Did they…drug you or—“ Eddie started.

Richie shook his head. “No, I took some pills just before he came home everyday. I had to—if I didn’t, I knew I’d just end up killing the fucker. Jail’s not really part of my plan just yet, so.” Richie chuckled.

Eddie looked down a little. “Do you, um. Do you still take them--pills? Because you know—they’re not just bad, they’re like, really _really_ bad.” Eddie emphasized as much as he could on those last words. He played with the pencil in his hand.

Richie looked down at him, using the hand on Eddie’s shoulders to nudge his chin up to look at him gently. Eddie let him.

Richie smiled a little. “You starting to care about me, Eds?”

Eddie shrugged, trying to play it off. “I mean, we’re kind of like friends, aren’t we? So yeah, maybe I do. It’s normal—between friends."

Richie smiled, but didn’t say anything. He let his eyes fall all over Eddie’s face, like he was taking in every detail. He used his other free hand to fix some of Eddie’s curls on his forehead. His eyes followed his own movement as he spoke. 

“I don’t take anything anymore. I sure as fuck don’t want to end up like my dad.”

Eddie realized Richie was talking about his biological father, and he wanted to know more.

“Do you still see your parents? Your biological ones?” he asked.

Richie didn’t answer him; he just took the sheet on Eddie’s lap and turned it over to a fresh new page of problems.

“Try number three. It’s one of the harder ones.”

Eddie blinked, feeling Richie shift a little further from him as he got more comfortable on the bed.

“But—“

“Eddie. Do it.” Richie said softly, a look in his eye that said, _drop it._ Eddie closed his mouth and nodded, looking down and starting to work on the problem.

All the while, Eddie just knew Richie was looking at him. It didn’t seem like Richie was trying to be subtle about it either—his head was completely turned at Eddie’s face—not even the paper.     

Eddie ignored the stare and focused on his problem, eventually getting stuck halfway and needing Richie’s help. In the middle of Richie’s explaining, Eddie’s door suddenly opened. Both boys looked over at the door, who was now being opened by Stan. The curly haired boy’s eyes widened his eyes in slight shock at the sight of Richie.

“Stan!” Eddie said a bit too surprised. Stan never came back to the dorm on Sundays, and was out until midnight. Eddie wondered where he went. But today, he was here for some reason. “Sorry, I thought that you’d be out.”

Stan shook his head, glancing from Richie to Eddie. “It’s fine. Who’s this?”

Richie got off the bed, and as did Eddie. “Oh, uh,” Eddie started. “This is Richie—he’s in my calculus class.”

Richie walked over and stuck a hand out to him, giving a wide smile. Stan eyed it before looking back at his face.

“Richie,” Stan said slowly, thinking. “Richie Tozier?”

Richie nodded. Stan tilted his head back, still not shaking Richie’s hand.

“I’ve heard a lot about you.” His voice was a bit cold. Richie just smirked, taking his hand back.

“Always nice to meet a fan!” Richie chirped, giving a wide grin. Stan narrowed his eyes.

“If what I’ve heard is true, then believe me, I’m not a fan.”

Eddie was a little shocked to hear those blunt words come out of his roommate’s mouth. He didn’t know what Stan was talking about, but tried to ease out the tension in the room.

“Stan,” Eddie said with a warning in is voice. But Richie just laughed.

“It’s okay, Eds. Everyone’s entitled to their own opinion—even Stanley here.”

 Stan rolled his eyes, looking to Eddie with a softer look.

“What are you doing with him, Eddie?” Stan spared a disgusted look at Richie, who just chuckled to himself as Eddie blinked, obviously confused.

 “He’s helping me with my homework,” Eddie said. “Stan, he’s my friend, okay? Just please—stop being so _rude._ ” Eddie mouthed the last part, but Stan caught it. For a moment, Stan looked back at Richie with a glare, and then back at Eddie. Finally, his shoulders relaxed a little, and he shook his head to himself. He stuck out his own hand at Richie, who took it a moment later.

“A friend of Eddie’s is a friend of mine,” Stan said with a tight smile. “And it’s Stan, not Stanley. Stan Uris.”

Richie nodded. “Got it, chief.” He saluted with his right hand. He grinned at Eddie, who just rolled his eyes with a relieved smile. Eddie watched Stan ruffle through his drawers.

“What is it?” he asked, wondering what his friend was doing here. Stan rummaged a little more before answering, clearly a little worried.

“I seriously can’t find my phone anywhere. Can you call it?”

Eddie nodded, taking his phone out and dialing Stan’s number. It rang once before the automated voice said the phone was shut down.

Stan sighed. “Shit. Battery must have died.”

Eddie began looking around the room now too, checking every spot. Suddenly, Richie spoke up.

“Hey, I could probably track it down. I’d just need your passcode and ID,” he said. Stan turned to him, looking skeptical.

“I don’t really trust—“

Eddie cut him off. “Stan, you kind of don’t have that many options.”

Stan sighed again, nodding. “Okay. Fine.”

Richie nodded, and turned to Eddie. “Can I see your laptop?” Eddie nodded and handed him his Macbook, sitting next to Richie at the edge of the bed. Stan stood next to Eddie, carefully watching Richie’s movements like a hawk. Richie had pulled up some sort of website that had a bunch of password blocks and green windows filled with numbers. Eddie suddenly looked at him.

“Are you…hacking into his phone?”

“I mean, I thought that was obvious. How else am I supposed to find a dead phone?”

Stan groaned. “Great. Just fucking great.” Richie laughed, looking up at him.

“Don’t worry, Stanley. I won’t accidently delete any of your porn.”

Eddie grimaced for both him and Stan. He shoved Richie a little.

“Do you have to be so fucking disgusting all the time?”

Richie grinned at him. “You wouldn’t have me any other way, Eds.”

“I would, actually.” Eddie realizes what he just said, and by the look of Richie’s smirk, he realizes that Richie knew he’d walk into the trap. Eddie groaned. “Shut up shut up, just shut up Richie.”

Richie laughed loudly. “I didn’t even say anything!”

“You were thinking something.”

“Damn, I just can’t win with you, kid.” Richie typed on the keyboard in lightning speed, suddenly pressing a key. He asked Stan for his ID and passcode, which was given reluctantly. Richie typed some more, and Eddie watched in amazement how quickly everything was moving. He realized that Richie was probably a tech genius too. That lucky bastard.

“Alright,” Richie said finally, showing Stan the screen. “The location is at…Dorm C? Looks like it’s at the third floor.”

Eddie hummed. The only person Eddie knew in that building was Bill. Eddie didn’t notice the way Stan’s face flushed pale and the way he fidgeted with his feet nervously.

“Oh. Um. I—Thanks. I know where that is.” Stan began to open the door before cursing loudly.            

Eddie turned to look at him again. “What is it now?”

“I left my guest pass with Grant. Can I use your phone to call him?"

Eddie got up, thinking. “Wait—my friend Bill is in that dorm building, so I have the same guest pass. Come on, I'll go with you.” Eddie wore his jacket, motioning Richie to follow. He again didn’t notice how Stan’s eyes widened at the mention of Bill’s name.

Stan sighed. “Alright. Thanks.”

_Sunday October 4 th, 2018 – 12: 46 P.M – Dormitory 2C, Second Floor, Room 1052_

 

Eddie found himself being led by Stan, eventually facing Bill’s door. Stan avoided his eyes and knocked on the door lightly. Eddie turned to him.

“I didn’t know you knew Bill.” Eddie knew all of Stan’s friends from that time they went out for dinner, but Stan had never mentioned Bill.

 Stan scratched the back of his head. “Oh yeah, well. I just met him last class, so.”

Eddie stared. Stan was acting kind of nervous, and he had no idea why. Suddenly, the door opened, and Eddie made eye contact with Bill.

Bill noticed Stan next to him, and his eyes widened. His face went a bit pale, like he was seeing a ghost.

“E-Eddie! And Stan! What…what are you g-guys doing here?” Bill avoided Stan’s eye and focused on Eddie, watching his face. Eddie frowned at Bill’s stutter—it only came out when he was incredibly nervous.

Eddie shrugged. “Stan left his phone here—and you didn’t tell me you guys hung out!”

Bill glanced at Stan. “I-I didn’t really t-think it was important.”

Eddie brushed it off, walking in the room like he owned it. He plopped down on the bed, and it was only when Richie also came inside that Bill finally said something.

“Um—who are you?” Bill asked him.

Richie stuck his hand out for the second time today. “Richie. Eddie’s friend.”

Bill paused, and then widened his eyes again. He looked excitedly at Eddie, who was now about to hit his head on the wall repeatedly.

“Richie from Calculus?” Bill looked at Richie again.

Richie looked confused. “I am just so popular today, aren’t I?” he looked at Eddie, who was now blushing furiously. “You been telling your friend about me?”

Eddie opened his mouth to answer, but Bill—damn him—beat him to it.

“Oh—NO!” Bill said a little too loudly. “No no, I just know you have calculus with him. N-not because E-Eddie told me I mean, Eddie didn’t talk about y-you. Wait, I d-don’t mean that i-in a mean way I mean E-Eddie t-talked about you a n-normal amount—“

“Bill.” Eddie closed his eyes, trying to remain calm. “Please. Just. Shut. Up.”

“Right. Sorry, Eddie.” Bill looked sincerely apologetic, going a little red at his stuttering rant.

Richie was now full out grinning at Eddie, who avoided his eye completely. Eddie turned back to Stan, swinging his legs at the end of the bed. “Aren’t you going to look for it?” Stan had just been standing there, not even looking for his phone. After hearing Eddie, he blinked, and then looked down sheepishly.

“Oh, it’s—“ He walked over to Bill’s bed and leaned over Eddie awkwardly to pull up the bed covers a little, and dug his hand around searching. Eddie was giving him a weird look as he did so. Why would Stan leave his phone under Bill’s bed covers? He was only more confused when Stan actually found his phone in the bed, tucking it quickly in his pocket and avoiding Eddie’s stare.

Bill suddenly cleared his throat. “So. Erm. How about we get some f-food?”

 Eddie turned to him, suddenly realizing how hungry he actually was. He hadn’t eaten since six, thanks to Richie, and his stomach was now grumbling.

Stan responded for him and Eddie both. “Yeah, I’m starving. Let’s go to Dinells.” He turned to Richie. “Burgers sound good to you?”

Richie looked surprised. “You want me to go with you guys?”

Stan shrugged. “You found my phone. I kind of owe you.”

Richie nodded. “A burger sounds perfect.”

The four boys all left the dormitory and walked to the plaza near them, chatting about the different subjects that came up. As they talked, Eddie couldn’t help but notice how Stan was becoming more and more friendly with Richie. At first, he had barely talked with him, mostly addressing Eddie and Bill.

But now the two boys were passionately debating about some video game that Eddie didn’t really know. Stan was pretty much ignoring Bill and Eddie as he talked endlessly with Richie, making a variety of expressions to further express his point. Eddie smiled to himself as he watched Richie talk, feeling a flutter in his stomach. Suddenly, Bill nudged him.

“Wow. I’ve never seen Stan talk that much in one standing.”

Eddie nodded, realizing that even he had never talked to Stan for this long, continuously.

“And I’ve never seen _you_ stare so much at someone,” Bill grinned. Eddie widened his eyes and whipped his head away from Richie’s direction.

“Fuck you, I wasn’t staring.”

“Fine. Ogling. Same thing.”

Eddie shoves Bill, unable to hide the laugh forming in his throat. “I fucking hate you sometimes.”

“Because I’m so honest?”

Eddie paused, and then turned to him. “No, actually—you never told me that you and Stan hung out. And you knew he’s my roommate.”

Bill stopped smiling a little. He looked at Eddie nervously. “Yeah well—we d-don’t even hang out really. I’m not that c-close with him. Not like you and Richie, anyways.”

Eddie gave him a look. “I don’t hang out with Richie either. This was the first time for us too.”

Bill just hummed, looking down at his shoes and smiling like he knew something Eddie didn’t. Eddie was all too familiar with that look, and he hated it. The smell of burgers distracted him though, and he saw Dinells about a meter away from them.

They boys all quickly rushed in, the hunger in their stomachs becoming more prominent at the empowering aroma. When they reached a booth, Bill went first and Eddie went to sit next to him, but he felt himself being pulled back gently to the other side of the booth by Richie’s hand. He fell down a little awkwardly, blinking up at Richie. He quickly scooted over so that Richie could sit next to him.

Richie and Stan continued talking, with Bill and Eddie joining in some parts. The waitress took their orders after a few minutes.

“So wait,” Stan said. “Where’d you grow up?” Stan asked Richie.

“Derry—it was a town in Maine.”

Eddie stared at him. “You’re kidding.”

Richie blinked at him.

“I live there! Well— _lived_ there.”

Richie’s eyes widened in surprise. “No fucking way! How did we not—oh right.”

Eddie nodded, still unable to believe that this random college student who was now his friend actually lived in his hometown. Only they’d never seen each other because Eddie was always locked up in the hospital or the house.

“Damn. I thought no one else lived in that shit-ass town.” Richie was still a little bewildered.

“Same! Like what kind of a place only has one ice cream place in the whole of the—“

“The Cheery Cherry?”

Eddie gasped, along with Richie. “Yes! My mom used to let me have one cone each year, but it was so worth the wait. I’m telling you, they do something to that ice cream—it was _heavenly.”_

Richie nods. “My order was always the Rocky Road. And seriously—the only reason I’d go back to Derry is for that ice cream.”

“Yes! God, my mouth is just watering now at the thought of it. I need to go back soon now.”

 Richie hummed. “We should go together.”

Eddie looks at him. “What? Really?”

Richie shrugged. “Yeah, I mean. I kind of want to go back now too, so. Might as well just go together—to save gas and all that shit. Besides, it’s only five hours away. What do you say?”

Eddie bit his lip. “Yeah, okay. We’ll go together.”

Richie nodded, smiling at him happily. Eddie fiddled with his fingers nervously.

“I could um, show you my house,” Eddie said after a bit. “Only if you want, it’s fine if you don’t—“

“I would love to,” Richie said softly, his eyes boring into Eddie’s. He grinned suddenly.

“I want to see where little Eds grew up,” he poked Eddie’s stomach, eyes widening when Eddie made a high pitched squeak. Eddie blushed and regained his composure, batting Richie’s finger away from his most ticklish spot.

“Don’t call me that. And don’t poke my stomach.”

Richie grinned mischievously. He spoke in a baby voice. “Aww, is wittle Edsie ticklish there?” His hands were inching closer and closer to Eddie’s shirt. Eddie giggled at the voice, and leaned away from him.

“Richie! I swear to god! Do not fucking touch me!” Eddie giggled in his protests, watching how Richie’s hands were creeping up to him faster. But suddenly, they both heard a loud slurp from the other side. Eddie and Richie both looked at Bill and Stan, who were both just eating their burgers and talking quietly amongst themselves.

Eddie suddenly noticed his burger right in front of him. He and Richie sat up straighter.

“Hey! When did our food come?” Eddie asked Stan, who was now almost finished with his burger.

“They came a while ago. You guys were just too busy flirting to notice.” Stan chuckled with Bill, who tried hiding his laughter from a furious Eddie.

“I—We weren’t flirting!” When Stan just smirked in response, Eddie made a frustrated noise. “Whatever. I’m hungry.” Eddie avoided looking at Richie again, still feeling hot in his face from Stan’s choice of words. He picked up his burger and bit into it, hearing Richie do the same.

The boys talked as they ate, arguing and laughing about everything that came up. When Eddie was only halfway done with his burger, he looked over to find Richie completely finished with his double burger. Eddie gaped in his mind, but not yet ready to talk directly to Richie.

“Alright,” Stan said, brushing his hands on his pants. “I’m going to go order us desert. You guys want anything?” He looked at Eddie and Richie.

Eddie responded first, voice muffled with chewed up burger in his mouth. “B’ownie wiff a milfshafe.”

Richie looked up, thinking. “Yeah, just a milkshake.”

Stan got up, and Bill followed. “I’ll help you bring everything.” They both left the booth, leaving Eddie and Richie alone. Eddie suddenly realized this and swallowed the last of his burger.

“So,” Richie said, sipping his water. “Were you surprised about Bill and Stan, or have you always kind of known?”

“Surprised about what?” Eddie took a sip of his own water.

“That they’re fucking.”

Eddie choked on his water, coughing out wetly and breathing heavily. He turned to Richie, flabbergasted. _“What?”_

Richie watched him sputter around with an amused grin. “Oh come on, Eds. Even a blind person could’ve figured it out.”

Eddie was beyond bewildered. “What the fuck are you talking about? They are _not_ fucking.”

 “Why else would Stan’s phone be in Bill’s fucking sheets? And have you seen the way he gets all flustered and blushy at the mention of Bill’s name?”

Eddie opens his mouth, but then pauses. He does in fact think it was pretty weird that Stan’s phone ended up in Bill’s bed—even under the covers. That would’ve meant that Bill would’ve had to been in the bed…with Bill? Was that why Stan was so nervous? Eddie quickly shakes the thought out of his head.

“It—it can’t be. Bill would’ve told me. He’s my best friend. And Stan’s my roommate! If they were fucking, I think I would’ve find out. I mean, I catch on to things pretty quick.”

Richie raises his eyebrows and tries to stifle his laugh.

 “What?” Eddie snaps.

 Richie lets his laugh out, watching Eddie grow angrier.

“I do!” Eddie pouts when Richie only laughs harder. He frowns and crosses his arms like a child, turning away from Richie to show how mad he was. “You always think I’m so dumb all the time.”

Richie finally stopped laughing, looking kind of apologetic. He suddenly scooted closer and wrapped his arm around Eddie’s waist, resting his hand on Eddie’s hips.

“No—I’m sorry,” Richie said with a gentle smile, and Eddie turning his head away from him. “I don’t think you’re dumb, Eds. Really.” Richie sounded genuine, and Eddie looked up at him, forgetting his anger when he realized how close their faces were.

Eddie suddenly noticed the dark dots across Richie’s nose. He blinked.

“You have freckles,” he said, not really sure why he did.

 “You have more.” Richie’s eyes focused on the little brown spots scattered across the bridge of Eddie’s nose and his smooth cheeks. Then his eyes dropped down to his lips, and Eddie saw something in his eyes grow darker.

All Eddie could think of was how much he wanted to kiss him—and being so close for the second time today. But he didn’t move. He just stared back, feeling the air grow warmer between them. Richie’s head moved in a little, subtle but obvious enough for Eddie to notice.

“What are you doing?” Eddie asked quietly, not really sure why he was asking, and regretting it when Richie blinked out of his gaze.

Richie suddenly pulled his face further away from him, running his other hand through his wild hair, looking away and acting as if nothing happened. But Eddie didn’t miss the way Richie’s fingers tightened a little around his waist before letting go.

“Alright, one brownie and milkshake,” Stan’s voice rang out as he walked toward the table with a plate and cup, handing them to Eddie. “And one chocolate milkshake.” Bill handed Richie his order.

Eddie began digging into his brownie, and couldn’t help thinking about what had just happened with Richie. Was he going to kiss him? Maybe when Eddie asked him what he was doing, Richie took that as a bad sign. Maybe Richie thought that Eddie didn’t want to kiss him. But he really did. Back at his room, he had wanted to deny it. But now, he had to be honest with himself. Richie was right. The idea of kissing him _had_ been in Eddie’s head for a while now. But he didn’t really know what to do with that acknowledgement. Eddie angrily stuffed a forkful of his brownie in his mouth, trying to shut his head up. He didn’t want to think about this—not now.

But as everyone else at the table engaged in random conversations, Eddie kept turning his head to glance at Richie every now and then. He made it totally subtle (totally) and only did it once every five minutes. Okay maybe more like three. Fine—Eddie admits to himself angrily. Every minute. He found himself sneaking a peak at Richie every single minute that passed by. He couldn’t help it—couldn’t help thinking about kissing Richie.

But now, as he finished his milkshake and brownie, all he could think of was the feeling of Richie’s lips against his own. And it wasn’t like the thought of kissing was new to Eddie—he’d always wondered how it would feel and what exactly two people do in a kiss. But it was always just that—a wonder. But now, it was starting to become a desire. Eddie found himself looking out the window to calm his racing heart and his pondering head down. He suddenly felt the weight next to him shift up, and he turned around to see everyone getting up.

“Okay, so next Friday?” Stan was asking Richie. Richie nodded.

“Sure thing, Stanley.”

Stan looked at Eddie. “And you’ll be there too, right Eddie?”

Eddie blinked, rubbing his hands up his arms to get some warmth. “What? Where?”

Bill chuckled. “Are we that boring that you had to zone out this entire time?”

Eddie quickly shook his head. “No! I’m sorry, I was just thinking about…never mind. Stan, what—“

Richie interrupted him. “What were you thinking about?”

Eddie looked at him. The corner of Richie’s mouth was curling up into a smirk. Eddie immediately looked back at Stan. He wondered if Richie had known what he was thinking about. Richie’s words from his dorm was ringing in his head: _I can tell what someone’s thinking. How they’re feeling in that exact moment._

“What—um. What were you talking about?” Eddie kept his gaze on Stan, ignoring the way Richie unabashedly stared at him.

Stan looked between the two of them for a moment before answering.

“There’s going to be a new horror movie coming out this Friday—you know, Halloween spirit and everything,” he said. “Something about a crazy child-eating clown on the loose. We’ve all decided to go together—Richie’s bringing some friends, and me and Bill are coming too. You’re in, right?”

Eddie wrinkled his nose.

“Um,” Eddie rubbed his hands up and down his arms again. “No, probably not.” He gave Stan an apologetic look, and Stan nodded, understanding.

“Why not?” Richie blurted out, a little too loudly. Everyone looked at him.

“Eddie can’t watch horror movies. Gets too scared,” Bill explained.

Eddie glared at his best friend. “Bill! You swore you wouldn’t tell anyone!” He was furious.

Richie guffawed. Eddie crossed his arms and huffed, ignoring Richie’s rude laughter.

Richie chuckled as he swung an arm around Eddie’s shoulder. “Oh, come on Eds. It won’t be that bad. I’ll protect you. I promise.”

Eddie tried shrugging off his arm, but Richie was too strong.

“Still. I don’t want to go. Did you know that some man _died_ of a heart attack because he was jump-scared at the theatre? And there was this woman—“

“Eds. Believe me, you’re not going to die. You’re just being paranoid. Please, I want you to come,” Richie said. He paused, and then leaned down to speak in a quieter voice. “I’ll buy you a fruit cup.” He said in a sing song voice, hoping the bribe would get Eddie to crack.

Eddie huffed. Damn his love for those stupid fruit cups. “Fine. But if I die, I’m suing you.”

Richie snorted. “From beyond the grave?”

Eddie nodded. “You better believe I’m going to haunt you for the rest of your life.”

“I feel like you’re just using that as an excuse for your ghost-self to spy on me.”

Eddie laughed. “What’ll there be to spy on? You locking yourself in your bathroom with a bottle of lotion for two hours?”

Richie shrugged. “Hey, maybe you could even help me. You’d be like my personal hand-job g—“

Stan coughed. “Okay!” he said loudly, and Eddie turned to see both him and Bill looking a bit awkward. “You two obviously don’t know when to stop in front of other people.”

Eddie cleared his throat and looked down at his feet, blushing. Richie just laughed. They all walked out of the restaurant, the cold October breeze hitting them. The weather was unusually cold for early October. Eddie shivered audibly this time, his nose going a little numb. Richie, who still had had his arm around him, looked down at the whimper that came out of Eddie’s mouth.

In a second, Richie took off his sweater and slipped it on Eddie’s shoulders, covering Eddie’s shivering upper body. The sweater was much larger on Eddie, the puffed up shoulders sticking out adorably.

Eddie felt immediate warmth, and he looked up.

“You don’t have to—“

“I know.” Richie smiled and reached an arm around his waist, placing his hand on Eddie’s hip. With the warmth of Richie’s sweater and Richie’s own body, Eddie stopped shivering. He looked up and immediately caught Bill’s eye.

Bill raised his eyebrows before coming walking next to him.

“Comfortable?”

Eddie rolls his eyes, smiling. “Shut up.”

 

_Sunday October 4 th, 2018 – 6:59 P.M – Dormitory 2A, Fifth Floor, Room 2069_

“Fortnite? Really? This game is so boring,” Bill sighed.

Richie and Stan ignored him, eyes glued to the computer screen and hands poised on the controllers, tense and careful.

“I think he’s here,” Stan whispered, as if the person in the game was going to hear him.

“Trust me, he’s not here,” Richie said confidently.

“Then what’s that noise?”

“The sound of you overthinking. Calm the fuck down, Stanley.”

Eddie was sat at his table, sighing happily and looking down at his finished math homework that he’d been working on for two hours. Even though it was due on Thursday, Richie had told Eddie to finish it now so that whatever Eddie learned would stick with him longer.

He got up and sat down gently next to Richie, yawning quietly, holding the paper in his hand for Richie to check it.

“Richie.”

“Wait.” Richie kept his eyes on his screen, both him and Stan tensely checking the area for any other people.

“I don’t wanna wait, I worked on this for two hours. _Two,_ Richie.” Eddie whined.

Richie hummed. “I know, kid, just a minute…almost there—“ Suddenly the sound of shooting made Eddie jump, and he looked to the two computer screens. Richie cursed loudly and Stan was yelling, both of them clicking the buttons on the ps4 controller wildly.

“Yes yes! You got four of them! Keep going!” Stan was now standing up, and Richie did the same, loudly shouting at the screen. Eddie pouted and crossed his arms, annoyed that Richie was giving all his attention to this stupid game rather than him.

There was more shooting—and then some more, and then finally, the victory sound rang out. Richie and Stan both yelled out simultaneously, cheering and laughing. Eddie’s pout was wiped off now, and he was laughing at the two dancing boys, jumping up and down out of happiness.

“Fuck yeah!” Richie and Stan high fived, a loud smack ringing through the room as the two boys sighed with happiness and relief.

Richie laughed and turned around, and before Eddie could do anything, he was being lifted up in the air.

Richie’s arms held him up bridal style, and he spun around twice. Eddie gasped and squealed, grabbing frantically at Richie’s arms.

“Richie! Put me down!”

Richie chuckled and spun his around once more before sighing happily and sat back down on the bed, pulling Eddie on his lap so they were back-to-chest, locking his arms around his waist. Eddie’s heart jumped.

“Did you see that shit?” Richie exclaimed happily. “I’m telling you, Spaghetti. I’m the fucking best.”

Eddie rolled his eyes, shifting in his lap. “Wow. So humble.”

“Why the fuck would I be humble after that kill?”

Stan laughed from the chair. “He’s not wrong, Eddie. That shot was _magical.”_

Bill got up again. “Hey, do you guys have any soda? Or some snacks?”

Before Eddie could respond, Stan spoke up—it being his dorm room too.

“Yeah. Come with me, I’ll eat with you.” He got up quickly and Bill followed, without question. Stan and Eddie’s dormitory was one of the larger buildings, so the kitchen was a hallway away where Eddie couldn’t see anything or hear anything. He suddenly remembered Richie’s comment about Stan and Bill, peeking out after them.

“Finally realizing I was right, huh?” Richie said behind him. Eddie realizes that Richie knows why he’s looking. Eddie gazed down the hall, peeking his head out a little to look even further, but he couldn’t see anything.

“No—he’s just eating with his _friend_.”

“Then why are you watching like a mother hawk?”

Eddie stopped, tearing his gaze away and looking in front of him to show that he wasn’t. He sighed loudly and leaned back until he hit Richie’s chest. Eddie’s breath hitched when he suddenly remembered that he was _still_ _fucking sitting on Richie’s lap_.

Eddie froze a little, feeling Richie’s hands on his hips go a little still too. Finally, Richie spoke.

“Are you okay with that?”

Eddie pauses. _Okay with me sitting on your lap? I think I’m a little too okay with that,_ he thinks. “Okay with what?”

“Your best friend hooking up with your roommate and not telling you about it?”

_Oh._

“See—that’s how I know you’re wrong. Bill would tell me. And besides, he’s not that kind of a person.” Eddie looks down at his fingers.

“What do you mean?”

“Bill wouldn’t start anything in college. He told me himself. He wants to start dating after he’s graduated. He’s going to be a marine biologist, you know. He wants to stay focused and finish his schooling, and not get distracted by anyone.”

Richie hums. “Yeah, well. Sometimes people’s desires change. Especially if there’s a person involved.”

Eddie shook his head. “No, not Bill. He doesn’t need anyone.”

Richie laughed a little, the sound rumbling in Eddie’s ears. “Everyone needs someone, kid. That’s how humans work. We thrive off of companionship—the need to feel _close_ with someone. No one wants to be alone.”

Eddie turns his head a little. “I don’t think that’s true. There are people who’ve never had that desire—of being ‘close’ with someone. Like me. And I’m doing fine.”

Richie doesn’t respond immediately. But Eddie feels his hands on his hips slowly travel up to Eddie’s sides. The soft motion is comforting—the way Richie’s big hands almost cover his entire waist, and Richie gives a slight squeeze as he’s rubbing up and down. Eddie gasps a little, letting his eyes slip shut.

“Yeah? You really don’t want that?” Richie whispers in his ear. “You don’t want to someone to cuddle up with in the cold? You don’t want someone holding you to sleep at night?” Richie’s hands start moving to his stomach. Eddie’s heart lurches when he realizes that one of Richie’s hands covers his entire stomach.

Richie suddenly uses that hand to squeeze at Eddie’s side, pulling him a little roughly against his chest. His other hand reaches up to the side of Eddie’s neck, experimentally stroking the soft skin there. Eddie gasps a little louder this time and lets his head fall back down on Richie’s shoulder, feeling a little overwhelmed and dizzy at their bodies being so close.

“You want this?” Richie sounds a little breathless himself.

Eddie shifts in his lap to get more comfortable. “What?” he asks, a little dazed at the way Richie’s gripping and rubbing his waist area, and the way Richie’s fingers have now closed around Eddie’s throat—not doing anything, but just resting there, stroking up and down.

“Do you want me to keep touching you?” Richie asks, clearer this time. Eddie bites his lip subconsciously and nods furiously, feeling Richie drop his hands down to his thighs.

“I need you to say it for me,” Richie says, nuzzling face in Eddie’s neck. “Go on.”

Eddie swallows, trying to calm his breathing. “I-I want you to keep touching me.” He doesn’t dare speak any louder, still afraid that Stan and Bill might hear. Then he remembers: Stan and Bill are literally just a hallway away. He knows that this is the moment where he has to stop, to get off of Richie’s lap. But for some reason, he doesn’t.

Eddie feels Richie smirk into his neck, and he hears the sound of clasps opening. Then, his overalls are being tugged down a little. He realizes Richie must have opened the buckles keeping up the overalls, and now they were fallen down by his hips, still covering his legs but exposing just a sliver of pale skin below the pink pastel sweater Eddie wore underneath.

Eddie’s breathing gets a little heavier, and when he feels Richie slip his rough hands under the sweater and onto his hot skin, he can’t help the loud moan that comes out. And it’s loud. Like, so loud that Richie immediately brings one hand up to his mouth and covers it to stop the noise.

“Hey hey hey, shhhh. Bill and Stanley are literally a hall away from us.” Richie chuckles quietly.

The repeated thought should be enough to make Eddie get up and recompose himself before they come back, but for some strange reason, it makes another moan rip out of Eddie’s mouth. But this time—thanks to Richie’s large hand covering half his face—it’s muffled.

Richie stops his movements with his hand, resting it on Eddie’s bare stomach, thumb rubbing his skin in circles. He pauses like he’s thinking about something.

“’Cause you know,” Richie says into his ear. “If they heard you, they’d come back here. And they’d see us. They’d see how small you look on my lap, how you’re letting my hands roam around and touch your soft skin, and how much your little body is just begging for it.”

Eddie mewls into Richie’s hand, lulling his head on Richie’s shoulders, his body writhing. Richie’s words—and hands-- are doing something to him, he feels something stir up in his lower belly, making him feel hot everywhere. 

Richie’s breathing grows a little ragged too. His hands continue up Eddie’s torso, fingers grazing against his nipple, making Eddie arch up. Richie plays with one of them, rubbing and pulling at it mercilessly, causing more moans to rip out of Eddie's mouth. The action makes the end of Eddie’s nerves feel electric, running through his body.

“Yeah, they’d see how much you’re begging for it. How you’re acting like such a fucking slut.”

Eddie moans out obscenely, Richie’s hand not being able to muffle it that much because it was so loud. Eddie realizes that he’s hard now, and he whimpers and writhes around on Richie’s lap, feeling heat pool deep in his stomach and spreading out in every nerve in his body. When he reaches his hand down to his cock, Richie’s hand grasps his wrist and pulls it back, taking it away. He also pulls away his hand from Eddie’s nipple, not touching him anymore. Eddie whines.

“Shhh. Not now. We can’t do that now.” Richie sounds a bit strained, like he’s trying so hard to hold back.

Eddie ignores him, and reaches his other hand down to his painfully hard cock—which is crazy because nothing really happened—but that hand too is grabbed by Richie. Eddie starts to grow frustrated, trying to tell Richie to keep going, but the hand on his face only squeezes tighter. Eddie suddenly realizes the last thing he can do—he grinds his ass back onto Richie’s lap, and it comes as a shock when he feels something hard poking him down there.

Richie groans lowly and curses, using one hand to hold both of Eddie’s wrists in place, and then snaking that arm around his waist tightly to hold him in place. He presses down harder on Eddie’s mouth.

 _“Fuck,_ Eddie. Stop, I mean it.”

Eddie lets out a choked sob, trying to move but unable to due to the strong arm binding him. His hands are unable to wriggle out of Richie’s grasp too, so he’s completely and utterly helpless.

He tilts his head to Richie, trying his best to glare. When he catches Richie’s eye, he looks down to his hand on his mouth, silently asking to let him talk. Richie gets the message. He lifts his hand carefully off of Eddie’s mouth, resting the hand on his neck.

“You fucking asshole-- you started this and now you’re not gonna fucking finish it?”

“Did I fucking say I wasn’t gonna finish it?” Richie growls back immediately. “I will, just not…not now. Not when we have fucking two other people with us in the room. We’ll finish when we’re alone. When I can have you all to myself.”

Eddie listens, closing his eyes and trying to breath calmly. He goes lax in Richie’s lap, letting his body calm down and more importantly—his cock. He thinks of every disgusting thing to get rid of his hard-on. _Maggots, maggots in skin, maggots in vaginas—ugh, vaginas._ And that last thing gets rid of it completely.

Richie slowly tucks Eddie’s sweater down, fingers just barely grazing the skin below the sweater, but then pulls his hand back. He pulls Eddie’s overalls back up and carefully clasps the buckles in the front, smoothing out any wrinkles in his clothes. Finally, Eddie’s breathing has gone back to a regular rate. Richie must have been mentally calming himself down too because Eddie doesn’t feel the hard thing poking him anymore.

Suddenly, Eddie feels Richie’s hands on his hips, and he’s being lifted and turned around quickly, and Richie maneuvers his legs and his body so that Eddie is now straddling him. Eddie blushes when he sees Richie’s face, shifting to get comfortable. Richie places his hands on the back of Eddie’s thighs, pulling him closer just a little bit. Eddie tries not to think about how easy it was for Richie to basically manhandle him.

Richie looks at him for a moment, his expression unreadable to Eddie. He then brings up his hand to fix some of Eddie’s curls that are splayed across Eddie’s forehead messily. Eddie looks down at the hem of Richie’s shirt, feeling kind of embarrassed now that he thought about what just happened. He’d never been in that kind of a situation before—never been this close with someone.

Richie grabs his chin and pulls up a little, making Eddie look him in the eye. Eddie bites his lip, not knowing what to do.

“Are you free Thursday night?” Richie asks quietly.

Eddie blinks. “We have Calculus Thursday night.”

“No shit, Sherlock,” Richie chuckles fondly. “I’m talking about after.”

“Yeah. I think I am.” Eddie looks down once before looking up at him again, through his eyelashes. He sees Richie gulp.

“Good.”

Eddie stares, waiting for something more, but it doesn’t come. There’s suddenly footsteps coming through the hall, and Eddie immediately gets up, stumbling a little before sitting down a feet away from Richie on the bed. Richie gets up too, pushing a hand through his hair. Bill and Stan both have granola bars in their hands, chewing nonchalantly while Eddie hopes they didn’t hear anything.

“I think I’m gonna take off,” Richie says. “But I’ll see you on Friday?”

Stan nods, swallowing his bar. “Yeah, come meet me and Eddie here first, and then we’ll pick Bill up. I’ll text you when.”

Richie nods. He looks at Eddie and smiles, nodding once. Eddie bites his lip.

“You know um. You can drop by anytime. Even before Thursday night.” Eddie sees Stan stare at him from the corner of his eye.

“Alright. I will. See you soon, Eds!” Richie grins and opens the door, walking out. Eddie lets out a sigh he didn’t know he was holding. He almost wants to leave too, to walk with Richie and go wherever he’s going. Eddie already misses his presence. But he doesn’t want to think about that fact—he’s too scared to acknowledge it.

Bill leaves soon after, claiming he has to study. But not before telling Eddie that they had to set up a date to talk about whatever was going on with Richie. Eddie rolls his eyes and ignores him, also ignores the way his heart flutters a little at Richie’s name.

It’s only when him and Stan are about to go to sleep when Stan finally mentions Richie to him since Bill had left.

“Hey Eddie?” Stan calls out in the dark.

“Yeah?”

Stan pauses, like he’s trying to find the right words for what he’s about to say. “Richie seems like a good guy.”

Eddie turns to him, making out his pale face in the dark. He’s confused at the statement, but remembers when Stan first met Richie, what he said. _‘Believe me, if what I’ve heard about you is true, then I’m not a fan.’_

“Well, he is. Besides, what did you even hear about him?”

Stan opened his mouth, about to answer. But he stopped, shaking his head after a minute. “Now that I actually met him, I think those were just some stupid rumors. He doesn’t seem like the type of person to…never mind. Goodnight, Eddie.” Stan yawns and turns around. Eddie says goodnight back, wondering what Stan was going to say. He decides it’s probably not that important.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Four Sneak Peak:
> 
>  
> 
> Richie leans back a bit, looking at the sweatshirt Eddie’s wearing. “Alright,” he says softly. “I want you take off your clothes.”
> 
> Eddie feels his heart hammer in excited thrill. “A-all of them?” He asks timidly. 
> 
> Richie nods once, his face encouraging, but also firm. 
> 
> “Are you going to undress too?” 
> 
> Richie smirks. “Nope.”
> 
>  
> 
> Hope you enjoyed !


	4. Step Four: Invite Him Over For the Night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Explicit Content, Mentions of Eating Disorders
> 
> Side note: So there is smut in this chapter, and just to let you know it will be a little, erm, kinky--but I wanted to make sure that everyone knows that Eddie likes it, and he consents fully. It's probably obvious through the writing, but in case it isn't, just know that both parties consent fully to what happens. 
> 
> Hope you guys enjoy!

_Thursday October 8 th, 2018 -- 7:00 P.M – Calculus 1, Mr. Zyneznegner_

Eddie sat down at his usual desk, pulling out his heavy lined notebook and puling out all of his pencils and pens, separating the different colored highlighters in a neat, arrowed line. He opened the notebook and picked up his pencil, looking up at the clock. Mr. Z opened the door.

As the old man greeted everyone, Eddie glanced around the classroom. People sat in their usual seats, no one really sat with him in the back, except for--. Eddie cleared his throat. As the slideshow began, Eddie picked up his pens and started taking notes. When twenty five minutes passed by, Eddie’s heart began to hammer.

He kept glancing up at the clock, watching it reach 7:30. His hands were almost shaking from the nerves, and Eddie breathed slowly to calm himself down. He wanted to punch himself; can he calm the fuck down please? Eddie begged his body to stop trembling.

He looked up at the clock again, 7:32. Eddie began to feel a whirr in his stomach. Where was he? Was he not going to come in today?

Suddenly, the heavy door of the classroom opened. Eddie closed his eyes and dropped his pencil, feeling his heart skip a beat. He heard the noisy steps up the stairs and the obnoxious shuffling sound coming near him.

Eddie opened his eyes and picked up his pencil. He resumed taking his notes, keeping his neck still and only staring ahead. _Calm down,_ Eddie told himself. _He’s not that big of a deal. He’s nothing special._

Richie sat down next to Eddie, in his usual seat. The sudden whiff of cold air as he did so swept past Eddie, making him shiver a little. The weather was becoming increasingly colder each day, today being the coldest so far. Even Eddie’s light blue heavy-sweatshirt that was a size too large wasn’t enough to keep him warm. He crossed his legs slowly, not wanting to make any sudden movement to get Richie’s attention. He doesn’t want it anyway.

But when Richie doesn’t talk or look at him, Eddie shifts in his seat. He thought he’d be happy about that. Eddie admits, he was a little mad that Richie hadn’t texted him or even dropped by at all after Sunday. But he realizes that maybe Richie was busy—and that Eddie was being too hard on him. Besides, it’s only been four days.

So now, Eddie finds himself zoning out of Mr. Z’s lecture and trying to peek next to him. He doesn’t want be the one initiating anything, but Richie’s not doing anything. He knows that Richie isn’t sleeping this time because one of Richie’s legs are bouncing a little. It stops every now and then, but it’s constant. It’s the first time Richie isn’t sleeping in this class, and Eddie feels happy about that for some reason. Maybe he wanted to talk to Eddie this time. He remembers when Richie asked him if he was free today after class.

Eddie’s thoughts were interrupted when Mr. Z paused his lecture. Now that Mr. Z wasn’t talking, the class broke out in quiet murmurs, everyone talking to their friends. Eddie felt awkward, not knowing what to do or say to Richie. Richie wasn’t doing anything though, just bouncing that stupid leg like he didn’t care that Eddie was having a mental breakdown. Eddie finally couldn’t take it anymore.

He looked at Richie, not just peeking but full on turning his entire body to him. Richie must have already been staring because he made immediate eye contact with him. Richie smirked. The first thing Eddie noticed was his glasses. He was wearing the large, square rimmed frames today. He looked stupid.

“You look stupid.” Eddie frowned at him. Richie laughed, leaning a little closer to him.

“Happy to see you, too.”

Eddie can’t help himself. “Are you though? I mean, you never dropped by or texted me. So are you really happy to see me?”

Richie pauses, and he looks down for a little bit. When he looks back up, he looks apologetic.

“About that—I’m sorry. Some things came up and I completely forgot. I just got too busy,” Richie said. He sighed. “Do you forgive me?”

Eddie looked at him, feeling his heart sink at the half-assed excuse. He shrugged, looking away and acting casual. “Yeah—whatever. It’s not a big deal. It’s not like we have a commitment or something. I was just confused.”

Eddie pulled up his sweater sleeves, making sweater paws and wrapping his arms around his waist. He could feel Richie follow his movement. His cheeks suddenly grew red. _Richie held me like this. Richie touched me like this._ Eddie took his arms off of his waist and lay them out on the desk in front of them, looking the opposite direction of Richie. He felt a nudge on his shoulder. He turned back to Richie, trying to look disinterested.

“Look, my mom got sent to the hospital, alright? I was the only available contact in her book,” Richie said genuinely.

Eddie’s mouth dropped open. “What happened?” He asked softly, previous anger completely gone

Richie shrugged, leaning back in his seat. “She doesn’t know how to leave her shit ass boyfriend.”

Eddie turned more towards Richie. “Did he…hurt her?” He asked, already knowing the answer.

Richie nodded. “Two cracked ribs, ruptured spleen, and a skull fracture with cerebral hemorrhage.” 

Eddie stared, eyes fluttering with disbelief. “Is she going to be okay?” He asked tentatively.

“I don’t know. She’s in a coma. The doctors can’t say anything yet.” Richie swept a hand through his hair, looking very calm despite what he just said.

He looked at Eddie, who’s eyes were wide and worried. Richie quickly opened his mouth again.

“Hey,” Richie said. “It’s okay. She’s been in a coma before—and she always makes it out fine.”

Eddie shakes his head. “You don’t know that.” Then, he mentally slaps himself because that is certainly _not_ the right thing to say. He’s the one who should be saying Richie’s line, not the other way around. But before he can correct himself, Richie’s already responding.

“Okay, so I don’t know that. And you know what? That’s okay. If she lives, great. If she dies, even better. It won’t effect me either way.”

Eddie gapes. “How the fuck can you say that?” he asks, a little breathless. “She’s your _mother.”_ He wants Richie to argue with him, to yell at him. To give _some_ other reaction than being nonchalant and calm. But Richie doesn’t give him that.

He just shakes his head. “It’s just something you’ll never understand, kid.”

“Why not?”

Richie leans a little closer to him, looking down at his big, brown eyes. “Because I’m fucked up. And you’re not. You won’t ever understand the fucked up way I think because you’re too pure,” Richie says softly. He grabs Eddie’s chin, fingers grazing his smooth cheeks. “And I love that about you."

Eddie stares into Richie’s dark eyes, feeling himself get a little lost in them. It’s only when Richie takes his hand away and leans back in his seat does Eddie break out of his trance.

“But I wanna make it up to you,” Richie says.

“What?”

“You still free for me after class?”

Eddie nods. Richie grins, turning his head back to the front of the classroom. Eddie didn’t even notice that Mr. Z had started to talk again. He slowly turns back to the front as well, peeking one last glance at Richie.

As the class goes on, Richie keeps playing with Eddie’s foot, kicking and snickering when Eddie huffs out of annoyance. Eddie kicks back, the two boys engaging in a silent foot war. Eddie bites his lip to keep the smile spreading, but it doesn’t help much. And then, when some kid’s ringtone starts playing the song ‘Deepthroat’, he looks at Richie and they both crack up, Eddie blushing in second hand embarrassment. The nerdy kid quickly stutters to the class that the ringtone was set by his friend as a prank, but that only makes them laugh harder.

When the class finally ends, Eddie starts to pack up his things, bending over to tuck his book and pencils into his backpack. When he finishes and turns around, he sees Richie smirking down unashamedly.

“Were you just looking at my ass?” Eddie rolls his eyes as he walks out with Richie.

“Oh, please. Like you didn’t want me to. Also like that time in your dorm.”

Eddie looks up at him. “What are you talking about?”

“When I was helping you with the homework--on Sunday. You kept sticking out your perky little ass out in my face. Honestly, it took every self control I had not to smack that thing.” Richie snorted.

Eddie turned bright red. “What—I wasn’t! I was—I was reaching over to get the eraser!”

Richie rolled his eyes. “Sure you were, Spaghetti.”

Eddie was baffled. He really hadn’t even thought of how it must have looked from Richie’s point of view. But now, he remembers. Suddenly, it makes sense why Richie was acting weird and running to the bathroom awkwardly.

When they were outside, Eddie looked up at Richie, unable to stop the happy smile that was tugging on his lips. He really missed Richie--a lot. Like 'daydreaming of him in every class and before he went to sleep' lot.

“So where are we going?” he asked, unconsciously walking closer to Richie.

Richie put his arm around his shoulders, leading them to the sidewalk. “My dorm room. Mike’s spending the night at his girlfriend’s.”

Eddie feels his heart thump a little, and he draws a breath.

“So we’ll be…alone?” He remembers Richie’s words from Sunday night: _We’ll finish when we’re alone. When I can have you all to myself._

Richie looks down at him, eyes flickering to his lips for a moment. “That okay? You can sleep over if it gets too late.”

Eddie doesn’t even have to think before nodding quickly, his stomach whirring in excitement.

 

_Thursday October 8 th, 2018 – 8: 15 P.M -- Dorm Building 2F, Second Floor, Room 934_

“You cleaned!” Eddie says excitedly when he enters Richie’s room. Last time, only one side of the room was tidy—Mike’s. Richie’s was a total disaster. But now, his side of the room was also very neat. The bed was actually made properly, with the blanket tucked in. The trash that was once scattered around the floor was nowhere to be seen. And was that… a _duster_ hung up on the wall? Eddie could almost hear angels singing above him. 

Richie rubbed the back of his neck. “Yeah, well. Mike told me how disgusted you were when you saw my side last time. I just thought I’d be good host and, you know, clean up. It’s not a big deal.” Richie shrugged, but Eddie noticed how his cheeks were a little red.

Eddie beamed at him. He remembered Mike saying how he’d been trying to get Richie to clean but failing every time, and here Richie was—cleaning it just because Eddie didn't like it last time. It made Eddie happier than it should.

It was becoming darker outside, the dim light from the lamp posts outside the large window being the only light in the room. The room was cozy and warm, for some reason feeling a lot more of a home than Eddie's own room. Or maybe it was just the fact that Richie was there. Whatever it was--Eddie didn’t want to be anywhere else. He walked to Richie’s desk, noticing some music sheets with pencil markings scrawled all over stacked neatly at the top.

“You make music?” he asked, carefully taking one sheet and observing the messy scrawls and marks on each note. 

Richie sat down at his bed, taking off his shoes. “Yeah, kind of--I use the base notes of old tunes and kind of mix it in with my own. I only recently learned how to play the guitar, but it's already sort of become a habit for me." 

Eddie's eyes scan over the music sheet, putting it back neatly. He looks at Richie. “Can you play for me sometime? I've never known someone who could do it."

Richie smiles. “For you, Eddie Kaspbrak, I would do anything. Even if it means you realizing that I actually suck at playing the guitar and I'm only acting like a musical wonder."

Eddie smiles, biting his lip. But his mind is still stuck on when Richie said his full name. It was a sound that Eddie wouldn't mind listening to for hours. Eddie takes off his backpack and places it on the floor next to the desk. He slowly walks to where Richie’s sitting on the edge of the bed.

He can feel his nerves flutter around in anticipation. He knows why he really came here, and why Richie invited him here. They both needed finish what happened on Sunday night. But Eddie didn’t really know what exactly that was. All he knows is that for some reason, there is this sudden desire to feel how he felt on Sunday. To feel _close_ with Richie.

Eddie walks until his thigh hits Richie’s knee. He looks at him.

“Hi.” His voice sounds quieter, almost shy.

Richie gives a soft smile. “Hi, baby.” Eddie's heart lurches.

Richie reaches over and holds Eddie’s hand, his thumb stroking his hand. Eddie bites his lip, his eyes following the movement. Richie looks up at him.

“Tell me what you want,” he says quietly, a firm look in his eye. Eddie holds his breath.

“I don’t really know what I want.” _You. I want you._

Richie hums. “That’s okay,” he pauses for a little bit. “But you do want me to—“

Eddie nods. “Yes. I do. I want—I want you to do what you did last time. No—I want you to do more,” Eddie admits. “But only if you want to. I’m not like, forcing you or anything.”

Richie chuckles. “You’re adorable, you know that?”

Eddie preens at that, grinning happily. He looks down and plays with Richie’s fingers. “I know.”

Richie scoffs fondly, his hand coming up Eddie’s arm and holding for a second. He plays with the material of Eddie’s sweatshirt, feeling the fabric around his fingers. He looks at him again.

“If you feel uncomfortable at all or don’t want something, just tell me and I'll stop,” Richie says seriously. Eddie quickly nods, appreciating Richie’s thoughtfulness. But he knows for a fact that he will not be saying those words tonight. 

“Promise?” Richie presses, making sure. 

“I promise.”

Richie leans back a bit, eying him up and down once quickly. “Alright,” he says softly. “I want you take off your clothes.”

Eddie feels his heart hammer in excited thrill. “A-all of them?” He asks timidly.

Richie nods once, his face encouraging, but also firm.

“Are you going to undress too?”

Richie smirks. “Nope.”

Eddie lets out a shaky breath, feeling himself grow more nervous, but also excited. He starts with his shoes first, and then his socks. He balls up the socks and places them in the shoes, putting them together neatly by the wall. Then, he reaches for the hem of his sweatshirt, pulling it over his head to reveal a white long sleeved shirt underneath.

Eddie doesn’t look at Richie while he does this—just looks at his own actions. He feels completely in the spotlight, with Richie sitting in front of him and watching him strip down. Eddie holds his breath when he reaches the hem of shirt to pull that off too. The second he does, he feels the cool air hit his exposed, pale skin, making him shiver a little. Eddie doesn’t look at Richie, just looks down at his pants.

He fingers the waistband of his pants, pausing for a second before slowly pulling them all the way down, feeling the soft skin of his shaved legs graze his fingers as he did. He takes them off and folds them neatly along with his sweatshirt, placing them by the wall. He takes his time though, knowing what comes next.

Eddie’s now only in his black boxers, and he stands awkwardly, fumbling with his fingers. He looks up at Richie, knowing what he has to do, but feeling like he needs to hear it from him.

“Those too, baby boy.”

And it’s probably the nickname that makes Eddie take off the last bit of clothing on him quickly, folding them with slightly shaking hands. Eddie looks down, resisting the urge to cover his cock, which is now starting to harden. Eddie mentally scolds it. _What are you getting hard at you idiot? This is the most embarrassing thing ever—I’m just standing here completely naked while a fully clothed hot as fuck guy is raking me up and down with his eyes—_ Eddie suddenly realizes he’s looked up at Richie, because what he sees makes his knees tremble--and not just out of anticipation.

Richie is, indeed, raking him up with his dark eyes, but the thing that makes his knees tremble is the fact that there is something in Richie's eyes and face that Eddie can only categorize as _predatory._ Like when a lion spots a deer, and it’s just waiting to pounce on it’s prey. It should make Eddie a little scared, but it only makes him more aroused, his lower area growing hotter. He feels a wave of unfamiliar desire washing over him.

“ _Fuck._ You’re so fucking gorgeous _,”_ Richie says breathlessly, completely awed. His eyes run all over Eddie’s small body, licking his lips slowly. Eddie blushes, but the comment makes him feel a little more confident. He stands a little straighter and looks at Richie’s face, feeling less nervous. He’s never been naked in front of someone else before—except for his mother when he was a kid. So this is a completely new feeling for him. He feels adrenaline pumping in his veins, making his heart on the verge of exploding.

Richie suddenly pulls Eddie’s arm foreword, making him yelp in surprise before falling into Richie’s lap. Eddie flutters his eyes shut for a moment before opening them again and adjusts himself, straddling Richie. Richie’s rough hands immediately start roaming around Eddie’s naked body, a hungry look taking over his face. He looks up into Richie’s blown-out pupils, and then looks down to his lips. All of a sudden, Eddie realizes that he _hasn’t even kissed Richie._ He actually let this man touch him up before _kissing_ him.

When he sees Richie look down at his lips too, Eddie knows they’re both thinking the same thing. And Richie’s already leaning in, desire taking over his facial features. Eddie begins to close his eyes, but suddenly freezes.

“Wait,” he says quietly, pulling away a little and looking down. Richie immediately stops, a worried look surfacing.

“What’s wrong? Do you want to stop?”

Eddie shakes his head violently. “No! I just…,” he looks to his side, avoiding Richie’s piercing stare. “I’ve never--I don’t um, I don’t how to kiss.”

Silence. Eddie keeps staring at the paint on Richie’s walls, feeling his stomach harden with worry. He can see Richie’s jaw clenching in the corner of his eye, but can’t bring himself to look. So Richie does for him. He grabs Eddie’s chin and turns his head gently, making the embarrassed boy on his lap look at him.

When he looks, all of Richie’s features have gone soft. But there’s also a trace of confusion in them. Eddie hopes it isn’t accompanied with regret.

“Wait—are you saying you’ve never kissed anyone before?”

Eddie looks down again, his silent answer being louder than a vocal one.

He hears Richie take a deep breath.

“Eddie, have you been with anyone before me?”

Suddenly, it’s too much. It’s too embarrassing and humiliating. What kind of a nineteen-year-old boy hasn’t been in a relationship or kissed anyone? Eddie feels tears sting his eyes and he begins to panic, not wanting Richie to see him cry. He tries to look away before they fall, but he’s not fast enough. When Eddie feels a single tear run down his cheek, he scrambles off of Richie’s lap. Or at least, tries to.

The second Eddie begins to push at Richie’s shoulders to pull back and moves his legs in a hurry, Richie immediately holds both of Eddie’s wrists and tightens his hold on his back. He starts crawling back up the bed, taking Eddie with him.

“Hey, hey, shh. Don’t cry, baby,” Richie soothes him, crawling until his back hit the headboard. Eddie sniffles and tries once more to get away, get away from all the humiliation and shame. But Richie only wraps his hands around his middle, trapping him right there in his strong hold. It takes an extra moment for Eddie to realize that Richie’s hugging him.

Eddie finally gives in, and rests his cheek on Richie’s shoulder, feeling fresh, silent tears traveling down his face. He wraps his arms around Richie's neck, feeling his tears dry up after some time.

Eddie sniffles once. “I'm so fucking pathetic."

Richie laughs a little, and hugs him tighter, bringing a hand up to the back of Eddie’s head, running his fingers through his hair.

“Why, because you've never dated someone?"

Eddie lifts his head up, leaning his arms on Richie's chest and gives him a questioning look. "Yeah. I'm nineteen and I've never been on a date. Or kissed someone. That's pathetic." 

Richie frowns, shaking his head and shrugging. “Not really. So you haven’t kissed anyone—big deal,” Richie says. “In fact, that’s even better.”

Eddie gives him a dubious look. “What? Why?”

Richie smiles at him, fixing some of Eddie’s hair in the front. “Because now, I get to be your first kiss. You know how fucking lucky that makes me feel?” Richie tightens his hold on his waist, a bit possessively. 

Eddie bites his lip, holding back his smile. His heart starts beating dangerously again when he thinks of where they left off.

“So you won't care if I'm bad at it?" 

Richie shrugs. “Honestly, you could kiss me like a blob-fish and I’d still be enjoying it.”

Eddie giggles, feeling the heavy weight on his chest disappearing slowly. “Is that your way of telling me you’re into blob-fish?”

Richie grins. “Nah, it’s my way of telling you that I like you for who you are, not the way you kiss.”

Eddie rolls his eyes at the cheesy words, but can't help smiling. After a moment, he looks up at him, a determined look on his face.

“I think I’m ready,” he says, taking a deep breath.

Richie snorts. “What are you, getting ready to launch into space or something?”

Eddie smacks him on the shoulder, feeling himself blush. “You’re so _annoying,_ can you just kiss me for godsake—“

Richie grabs the back of his head and pulls him in, closing the gap between their faces. Eddie jumps a little from the sudden movement, and then he feels warm lips on his own. He closes his eyes and melts into the kiss, feeling Richie’s chapped lips move with his own. Immedietly, he tastes the blueberry flavor from Richie’s Airhead bites. Also, something smoky. Eddie doesn't have the ability to wonder if Richie's had a smoke before class because his mind goes blank--like empty-blank.

It's like his brain is completely turned off, and all he can do is move his lips with Richie's, getting lost in the action. Something deep in Eddie’s chest sparks. It’s a weird feeling, someone’s mouth on yours. But honestly quite peaceful. Eddie shifts and leans into the kiss even more, pushing his mouth against Richie’s. His mind goes fuzzy as he feels Richie’s tongue peek out and lick his bottom lip. Eddie makes a soft noise, breathing heavier through his nose from the lack of oxygen.

Richie’s hand comes up and grabs Eddie’s hair, moving his head to the side, angling his face to deepen the kiss. Eddie feels like he needs to breath, and he knows that he has to pull away, but he can’t bring himself to. Richie’s mouth is like a drug, pulling him in and making him feel like he’s in trance. He can’t stop even if he wanted to. Not that Eddie plans to anyway.

But Richie must have heard Eddie’s heavy and slightly struggled breathing, because he pulls away momentarily, allowing the naked boy on his lap to take in some air. 

“Hey,” Richie says in a rough voice. Eddie keeps his eyes on Richie's lips, still a bit dazed. The spark in his chest is pulling now, and Eddie leans in to kiss Richie again, the pull in his chest making him fill with desire.

“Hey, look at me,” Richie says a little louder, his hand grabbing Eddie's chin. Eddie’s eyes flicker back up to his, blinking lazily. “I want you to open your mouth when I tap, okay?”

And before Eddie can ask what he means, Richie surges foreword, a bit hungrier this time. Eddie feels himself go weak again, and this time, kisses Richie back a little. He’s still not really sure what to do, but he mimics Richie’s movements, hoping it’s not too off. Richie’s tongue is out again, and it’s licking at Eddie’s lip. Eddie feels two small taps from Richie’s fingers on the side of his cheek, near his mouth. He remembers what Richie said.

He opens his mouth just a little, not sure how much Richie wants. But that must’ve been enough, because Richie’s tongue pushes inside his mouth, licking everywhere. Eddie gasps into the kiss, feeling a burning sensation rip through his chest as Richie licks his tongue, the roof of his mouth, everywhere hungrily.

Eddie moans, the desperate noise mixing in with the soft sounds of spit and tongues licking around. Richie groans after him, and then he’s rubbing his hand on Eddie’s lower back, his other and angling Eddie’s head to kiss him deeper. Eddie sighs into it, feeling too hot—despite him being completely naked. And that’s another thing. He realizes that he’s having his first kiss—or makeout session rather—butt naked on the lap and hold of a fully dressed man. For some reason, the thought makes Eddie moan again, leaning up a little to kiss Richie back a little harder, feeling Richie graze his teeth on Eddie’s lip.

What was once a sweet, slow kiss, had emerged to mouths hungrily attacking each other, tongues pushing and licking, passionate moans vibrating through them. Eddie took a second to hear the room—hear the filthy squelches of saliva, the heavy breathing and whimpers that came out of his mouth. He felt Richie's big hands squeeze his love handles and hold him down, like even if Eddie tried he wouldn't be able to leave. That thought made Eddie's cock jerk in even more arousal. 

Richie’s hand travels down to Eddie’s ass, and when he does, he grabs one cheek and squeezes hard. Eddie gasps and moans, letting Richie lick into his mouth as he does. Richie’s other hand also drops down to Eddie’s bottom, and he begins kneading the soft flesh there. Eddie whimpers, feeling himself go too dizzy at Richie’s calloused hands gripping at his sensitive skin, surely leaving red marks. He can’t think about anything else other than _more._

Eddie subconsciously grinds down, feeling something hard poke at this upper thigh. He hears Richie groan before he pulls Eddie’s head back. Eddie’s panting a little now, feeling overwhelmed with the feeling of rough cloth rubbing his soft skin. He feels the hard thing in Richie's jeans rise up a little more.

“You want me to make you feel good?” Richie’s voice sounds an octave deeper, making Eddie shiver despite being burning hot.

Eddie knows what he’s talking about. His cock twitches in eagerness, screaming for attention. Eddie nods quickly, panting.

Richie leans his head back at the headboard. “Say it out loud.”

Eddie shifts, taking an extra moment to hear the words since his brain has positively turned into mush.

“I—I want you to make me feel good,” he says quietly. “Please.”

Something in Richie’s eyes gleam at that, and his jaw clenches, a little smirk making it’s way on his face.

“Okay, baby. I will. But you’re gonna work for it first,” he says.

Eddie frowns a little, confused. He lifts himself up a little.

“What? What do you mean work for it?” Eddie looks at Richie’s lips again, wanting to kiss him again. He’s only halfway there when Richie stops him, a hand on his neck pushing him back. Eddie feels his breath restricted for only a second when Richie presses against his throat, and he whimpers, feeling his cock twitch when he realizes that Richie’s hand encloses around his whole neck effortlessly. Richie’s fingers stroke the back of Eddie’s neck, watching him for a moment.

“Start rubbing yourself on me.”

Eddie’s eyes widen, and he sees Richie smirk. “What?” he asks.

“You heard me. Start humping my leg, or I’m not going to let you come.” Richie places both his hands behind his head, smirking down at Eddie’s startled face.

Eddie looks into Richie’s eyes, silently pleading him, but Richie’s gaze is stern, unrelenting. Eddie whines and shifts down a little, so his cock makes contact with Richie’s jeans. He whimpers at the contact, the rough material digging into the head of his cock. Eddie looks back up once more.

“Well,” Richie says. “Go on.”

Eddie bites his lip and looks down, and leans foreword a little, starting the friction between Richie’s leg and his hard member. He slides back down, wincing at the slight pain when he does.

Richie watches him through hooded eyes, a cocky smirk still on his lips as Eddie rubs on him shamefully. Eddie drops his head down and closes his eyes, gaining a little speed and feeling the tight coil of heat starting up in his lower belly. It hurts even more now—with the roughness of Richie’s clothes, but it makes he coil tighten in his lower abdomen, making him go faster.

Eddie takes a moment to realize how humiliating this really is. And when he does, he whimpers, looking back up to Richie.

“I feel like a dog,” he says, ashamed. Richie just smirks, raising his eyebrows once.

“Yeah?” he says lowly. “’Cause you’re humping my leg like a desperate, little bitch?—Quite literally.”

Eddie full out moans at the that, the loud sound ripping through the room. Eddie finds himself going faster, chasing his orgasm eagerly. He can feel that he’s close, his cock aching to release. The only other sound besides his whines and whimpers is the light squeak of the bed springs that go along with Eddie’s movements.

“You close, baby?” Richie asks, his voice sounding a little bit strained. Eddie nods distractedly, feeling the tip of his toes start to tingle, and the familiar head rush. His body is moving almost jerkingly now, no coordinate and sloppy movements. He feels a pulse in the head of his cock, making him drop his mouth open and shut his eyes.He’s so close—he rubs down harder, and he’s about to—

Suddenly, he feels Richie lift him up and flip him over with literally no effort, so now Eddie’s back is against Richie’s chest. Richie takes both of Eddie’s wrists in one hand and holds that arm around his waist. Richie uses his other hand to hold the base of Eddie’s cock, not allowing him to come.

“What the _fuck—“_ Eddie drops his head back on Richie’s shoulder. _Not this fucking shit again._ “Why are you such a fucking asshole?” he whines.

Richie chuckles. “Don’t worry, I’ll let you come. Just not yet—I want to build you up to it.”

Eddie makes a noise of frustration. “I was already building up to it!”

“Yeah, but _I_ want to get you there,” Richie says. “Just calm down for now. Breathe slowly.”

Eddie makes a huff of annoyance, unable to move. So he accepts his fate and just lets Richie hold him--letting out strings of profanity out at Richie of course from time to time.

As the minutes go by, Eddie’s cock begins to soften, no longer being stimulated by anything. Once it’s completely soft, Richie moves. Eddie feels Richie rub his hand down Eddie’s cock. It stings just a little, with the abrupt transition, but he moans loudly, letting his head lull to the side, his nose brushing Richie’s neck. Richie starts stroking him steadily, keeping a constant pace.

Eddie starts panting, his legs shaking and writhing. His muscles go lax in Richie's hold, and he lets Richie stroke him, his cheeks going red at the quiet compliments that Richie makes about how soft and pretty he is.

“How do you feel?” Richie asks.

If Eddie could slap him, he would. But he’s too busy drowning in pleasure to do that. Instead, he says, “Fucking fantastic. Just—keep going.” Eddie starts panting more now, but Richie’s movements goes slower, making him feel the drag of his palm up and down his shaft at a torturous rate.

“Call me Daddy.”

Eddie’s eyes snap open at that. He can almost hear the smirk in his voice. He whines out.

“Are you fucking serious right now?”

Richie chuckles. “Yup.”

Eddie bites his lip, thinking about it. He shifts up just a little, turning his head to Richie, a grin tugging on his lips. “Wait—is that a, a thing for you? Being called Daddy?”

“How about you say it so you can find out?”

Eddie feels a little rebellious. He huffs. “Fuck no.” The hand on his cock stops moving, and pulls away. Eddie immediately recoils. “No! No, okay I’m sorry, Daddy, please! Please keep touching me, Daddy!”

He feels Richie stiffen a little bit, and he definitely feels Richie’s cock through his jeans, the hard poke in the bottom of his ass. Then the hand is back on his cock, a bit rougher this time. Richie’s thumb rubs at the head, making precome dribble out. Eddie moans, but Richie is relentless. He keeps thumbing at the sensitive area, making Eddie jerk a little and whimper.

Richie sits them both up a little, and he leans his head down to kiss at Eddie’s neck, biting the skin and sucking quickly.

“Say it again,” Richie says. He sounds a bit unrecognizable—his voice raspier and full of arousal. It makes Eddie shiver and submit easily, happily. 

“D-Daddy,” Eddie moans, his voice going all high-pitched. Richie’s now stroking him fast and rough, thumbing at the head mercilessly. Eddie keeps writhing around, mumbling out incoherencies. He feels the heat start to intensify in his belly, and he’s arching up a little. Richie's fingers goes down to his balls, squeezing them just enough to make Eddie let out a choked scream. 

“Daddy, please!” Eddie pants and lulls his head around, unable to do anything else as Richie holds him, touching him where he pleases. Richie lets go of his wrists and uses that hand to grab at Eddie’s left thigh, pulling it back quickly so it falls outside of Richie's hip. He's got Eddie's legs spread out widely now, obscenely. Eddie feels a wave of arousal push through him, making him close his eyes in ecstasy. 

Richie suddenly thrusts up into Eddie, grunting quietly as he thumbs at Eddie’s slit, making the naked boy in his hold shake with pleasure. The second time he thrusts--his hand gripping Eddie's inner thigh painfully and biting at Eddie's neck-- Eddie can just slightly feel Richie's clothed, hard cock slip between Eddie's spread ass cheeks, and that's what sends him over the edge. 

Thick, white ropes of cum shoot out of his cock as his muscles go weak, making him immobile. Eddie’s head is in a rush of euphoria, the tips of of his toes tingling and his heart thumping in his ears. The continuous pulsing in his cock makes Eddie close his eyes in bliss, and lets his head roll to the side and into Richie’s neck as he breathes slowly, riding out his high and regaining his breathing.

He feels Richie move a little and then a wet towel wiping his stomach soothingly. After a few minutes, when he’s calmed down, Richie rubs his hands up and down Eddie’s arms, sitting them both up. Richie gets up slowly, gently letting Eddie lie down again, and takes out a pair of boxers out of his drawer. 

After about five minutes pass, Eddie swallows and opens his eyes, his heart going back to a normal pace. He stares up at Richie’s ceiling, his brain slowly starting to work again, which allows him to blush at the memory of what just happened. Eddie is sure that he’s never come so hard in his life. Nor did it ever feel _that_ good.

Eddie looks over to his side, just catching Richie finish changing into a new set of boxers. Eddie sits up a little, slowly since his cock still sensitive. Richie's got his shirt off, and Eddie gulps at the sight, letting his eyes rake over Richie’s form. But suddenly, he realizes that Richie never got to come.

“Sorry, um,” Eddie says shyly. “Come here--I'll help you."

Richie looks at him, confused. “What?”

“You know…finish?”

Richie suddenly realizes what he means, and he looks down, scratching the back of his head. “Oh. Um. That’s okay, you don’t have to do that.”

Eddie stares, and he looks down at Richie’s bulge. It’s not hard anymore. Eddie frowns, confused. He was sure he felt Richie—oh.

“Did you—“ Eddie’s voice comes out in a high squeak. “Come in your pants?”

Richie sighs, huffing. “Whatever, it’s not a big deal.”

Eddie can’t help the giggle that comes out. “Oh my god! When did you come? Oh—”Realization hits him. “So you like, _really_ like being called Daddy, huh?”

Richie scoots him up to the head of the bed and sits down next to him. He pulls the covers of the bed up and lets them both settle into the bed.

“I guess so,” Richie said. “At first, I was just saying it as a joke—also I wanted to see if I could actually make you call me that. But when actually you said it,” Richie inhales sharply. “It was so fucking hot. I could have just came from that.”

Eddie smiled, biting his lip. His eyes fell on Richie’s mouth, wanting nothing more than to lean over and kiss him--and then he realized he could. He let go of Richie’s hand and threw one leg over Richie’s waist, half straddling him. Richie immediately held on to his hips, gripping the soft flesh. Eddie kissed him once, pulling back to see if it was still okay. Richie didn’t let him pull back very far though—he carded a hand in Eddie’s hair and pulled him in again for a longer kiss.

Eddie sighed into it, feeling completely at peace. He leaned up more to deepen the kiss, feeling Richie lick his bottom lip again. Eddie parted his lips slightly, letting Richie’s tongue explore in his mouth. This time, he did the same too. He tentatively licked inside Richie’s mouth, trying to mimic Richie’s actions. It was a little easier this time, and Eddie lazily kissed back, taking his time like Richie did.

After a few minutes, Richie took off his glasses at placed them on the dresser, leaning back down on his pillow. Eddie clung on to Richie like an octopus, leg thrown over his other side to keep him there, and putting his head down on Richie’s chest, listening to the steady beat of his heart. Riche placed his hand in Eddie’s hair, massaging his scalp gently. Eddie felt his eyelids go droopy, completely relaxed and exhausted from his intense high. He snuggled up more into Richie, lacing his fingers in Richie’s other hand. He felt the hand in his hair go still momentarily, before resuming its actions. When Eddie closed his eyes for the last time that night, he suddenly remembers what Richie said on Sunday, about human beings thriving for companionship.

_“Yeah? You really don’t want that?” Richie whispers in his ear. “You don’t want to someone to cuddle up to in the cold? You don’t want someone holding you to sleep at night?”_

Eddie realizes that he does. He does want someone to cuddle up with, to hold him to sleep. Like Richie is now. Eddie doesn’t want to imagine living a life without sleeping with Richie. Eddie _can’t_ live a life sleeping without Richie. 

Eddie falls asleep before he can get scared about that thought.

 

_Friday October 9 th, 2018 – 10: 57 A.M -- Dorm Building 2F, Second Floor, Room 934_

“What the fuck are you doing here? I thought you and Hanna—“

“We are, I just forgot my wallet here. Wait, who is that?”

“He’s sleeping, so lower your voice. And get your shit so you can go.”

“Alright, alright, no need to get all bossy. But seriously, you’re not going to tell me who’s sleeping in your bed?”

Eddie fluttered his eyes open slowly, the first thing he saw was the wall in front of him. He heard scuffling behind him—he assumed it must have been Mike, from the familiar voice he heard.

“Nope. Now hurry up.” Eddie heard Richie’s voice.

Eddie didn’t move or make a sound, not wanting to show that he was awake so he wouldn’t get any attention. He was thankful the blanket was up to his neck, covering his body completely, and that Mike couldn’t see his face because of his current position. Eddie heard a drawer open.

“Ah. Got it,” Mike said. Eddie heard the door open. “By the way, Bev said that she’ll just come with me to Eddie’s dorm tonight. So I’ll text you when.”

Eddie blinked at the sound of his name, suddenly remembering that today was Friday. And Stan had invited Richie to their movie date. And apparently he was bringing Mike and…Bev? Eddie wondered who that was.

After a second, the door closed, and the room was quiet again. Eddie turned around slowly, the blanket making a noise as he did. He saw Richie turn to him in surprise, sitting at his desk on his phone. He immediately tucked it away and got up.

“Hey—were you awake?” Richie sat down on the edge of the bed, giving a small smile. Eddie slowly sat up, tugging up his blanket with him.

“Yeah, but only for like, a minute,” Eddie said. “I heard Mike’s voice and I just thought it would be really awkward if he saw me…” he trailed off.

Richie nodded, rubbing the back of his neck. “Yeah—sorry about that, by the way. He wasn’t supposed to come back until tonight.”

Eddie shook his head. “It’s okay. Really.” He bit his lip, noticing that Richie’s hair was kind of wet, like he had taken a shower. 

“Um, when did you wake up?” Eddie asked.

“At four. But I went out like, 10 minutes ago and got breakfast for you,” Richie got up and dug through a McDonalds bag, bringing out a box to Eddie. He started to open it for him, but Eddie shook his head quickly.

“No wait, let me brush first.”

Richie stared at him. “Before eating?”

“Um, yeah?”

“The fuck-- who does that?” Richie snorted.

Eddie widened his eyes. “You _don’t_ brush before you eat? Ew!”

Richie laughed at Eddie’s disgusted face. “Okay—never in my twenty- one years of life have I ever met someone who brushed before they ate breakfast. Trust me, Eddie Spaghetti, you’re in the minority.”

Eddie rolled his eyes. “Maybe because the people you meet are all just as disgusting as you are. And for the love of god, stop calling me Spaghetti.”

Richie resumed opening the box. “Yeah yeah. Just eat before brushing this one time—I promise, you’ll live.”

Eddie opened his mouth with a frown, but Richie quickly added something.

“It’s Nutella-stuffed double layered pancakes.” He opened the box, revealing some of the most soft looking, fluffiest pancakes that Eddie had ever seen in his life. “The more you wait, the colder it’s going to get.”

Eddie bit his lip, feeling his mouth salivating at the sight of the pancakes. He figured it wouldn’t hurt to eat this one time without brushing. Just this once.

He glared at Richie, grabbing the box and ignoring Richie’s smug grin. Richie handed him a fork, watching Eddie stab through the pancake and eat the first bite. Eddie fluttered his eyes shut as his mouth tasted the warm hazelnut chocolate with honey dipped pancakes. He sighed contentedly, eating the next bite quickly and filling his hungry stomach.

Eddie looked at Richie. “I swear; you’re going to give me diabetes one day.”

Richie chuckled.

“Yeah maybe. But you deserve a sugary breakfast after having Stanley’s horribly-cooked scrambled eggs every day.”

Eddie swallowed. “Wait—how do you know about that?"

“I was talking with Stan earlier,” Richie said. “He invited me to your dorm and made me some, but I just couldn’t have them. They were runny and kind of uncooked, and they honestly tasted a lot like—“

“Sardines?” Eddie laughed. “I know. He’s been making me that since September, and I just don’t have the heart to tell him how disgusting it is.” He stuffed another forkful in his mouth.

“Oh, don’t worry. He won’t be making it anymore.”

“Why not?”

“’Cause I told him not to. And that they were an abomination to the world of culinary arts.”

Eddie laughed, swallowing his bite. “You actually told him that?” he asked. He knew that if there was one thing Stan was sensitive about, it was his cooking.

Richie nodded.

“Well what did he say?” he asked curiously, taking another bite.

“He was quiet for a whole minute, and tried not to act offended. So I felt bad and offered to buy him an actual breakfast, so he got over it. But he did say he wouldn’t cook anymore.”

Eddie sighed out of relief. He felt bad, but incredibly grateful. “Thank god. I thought I’d have to break the fucking stove to get him to stop.”

Richie laughed, the warm sound making the tip of Eddie’s ears flush. He looked down and cut another piece of his pancake.

Richie scooted a little closer. “Hey, what classes do you have today?”

Eddie looked up. “Um, I have lab at 12. Why?”

“Skip it.”

Eddie scoffed. “Why?”

“Remember that board I bought on Sunday? I just got the call that it came, and I have to pick it up.”

“So?”

“So come with me.”

Eddie twirled the pancake bit with the fork, thinking about how much he’d miss in his Chem Lab if he actually skipped it. He wasn’t doing too good in that class to begin with—and he was sure that if he skipped, he would just end up being more confused and get a lower grade overall.

But Eddie really wanted to go with Richie. It didn’t matter if it was to the mall or even to the sewers—he’d go anywhere if it meant he got to go with Richie.

“Okay,” he said finally. “Fine. I’ll go with you.”

Richie grinned and ruffled the top of Eddie’s already messy hair. “Good boy.” He got up and picked up Eddie’s clothes that were neatly folded on the floor from last night. Then he walked to his dresser, pulling out his own black hoodie. He tossed them gently on the bed next to Eddie, who raised an eyebrow at the hoodie.

“It’s a lot colder today. Trust me, you need it,” Richie explained. Eddie nodded after a moment and swallowed the last of his pancake.

“By the way, there’s an extra toothbrush in the bathroom drawer—“ Richie began, but Eddie quickly waved him away.

“That’s okay, I have a travel one in my backpack.”

Richie snorted. “Of course you do.”

Eddie gave him a glare, but proceeded to get up from the bed, pulling away the covers from his body. But when he felt the cold air hit his skin, he remembered he was still naked from last night. He hadn’t even slipped on his boxers. Eddie froze a little, watching Richie dig through the McDonalds bag for something, hearing it make the bag rustle.

He very slowly got up from the bed, letting the covers fall back. He stood with his back facing Richie, and grabbed his clothes. He heard the rustle of the bag stop for a moment, but quickly resumed. Eddie’s cheeks flushed as he wore his outfit, the hoodie last. Richie’s hoodie practically swallowed him—reaching down to his mid thigh, and the sleeves were at least 5 inches longer. But it smelled faintly of bitter smoke and strawberry, which, figures. Eddie liked the smell more than he cared to admit. 

He turned around to see Richie face down in the bag, clicking his tongue annoyedly. Eddie frowned.

“The fuck are you looking for?”

Richie sighed. “I could’ve sworn I saw her put it in the bag. Great. Now we have to go back.”

“Back for what?”

“Your stupid fruit-cup.”

Eddie laughed. “Oh yeah! I forgot that you promised to get me one,” he said. He would have went to the theatre whether or not Richie had bought him his fruit cup, but he doesn’t have to tell Richie that. “Just let me freshen up and we can go together, okay?”

Richie nodded. “Sure thing, Spagetti sir!” He saluted. Eddie rolled his eyes, hiding the smile that crept on his face without his permission.

_Friday October 9 th, 2018 – 12:02 P.M --  LandView Outlet Mall, 1st Floor, ‘Zuke’s Scooters’_

“So,” the same employee that helped Richie from last time placed the board in a box, and watched Eddie eat from his fruit cup. “Is that like your thing? Do you come into skateboard stores with your boyfriend and eat your fruits in them?"

Eddie looked confused for a moment, and then realized that last time he was here, he was also having a fruit cup. He heard Richie laugh next to him.

“Basically, yeah,” Richie answered for him. Eddie would’ve cut him off, but his mind was too preoccupied with the word the employee said: _boyfriend._ Richie didn’t even correct him, so does that mean that Richie thought they were dating? _Were_ they dating? Eddie shook his head a little, deciding he didn’t want to think about this now in a place called fucking Zuke’s Scooters.

After they had left the store, Richie immedietely took out the skateboard, giddy and excited. Eddie smiled as he watched the grown man gasp in awe when he saw the board, taking in every inch of the thing. Richie grinned and immediately got on, testing the wheels as he pushed a little, circling around Eddie. He raised his hands at him.

“So what do you think?” he asked Eddie. Eddie rolled his eyes and ate another mango.

“I think you look like an idiot.”

Richie grinned. “An idiot on a fucking gorgeous board though, right?” He glided off and then came back, making a circle around Eddie. He had such a genuine smile on his face, and Eddie sighed in fond, feeling his heart burst a little at the smiling boy. Suddenly, Richie stopped in front of him.

“You want to try?” Richie asked him, still grinning from ear to ear.

Eddie opened his mouth to say no, but Richie must’ve sensed it.

“Don’t worry, I’ll hold your hand so you won’t fall. It’s fun, I promise.”

Eddie rolled his eyes. “I know how to skate, you asshole.”

Richie blinked in genuine surprise. “Wait, really?”

Eddie nodded, shoving his cup in Richie’s hand and taking the board from Richie. He got on and easily pushed foreword, feeling the light breeze on his face as he did so. Richie was still a little surprised as he walked next to him.

“Ben taught me,” Eddie said, smiling at the memory. “The first time I got on though, I fell and fractured my tailbone. I refused to let go of his arms the next few times.”

Eddie rode around some more, Richie following him as he did.

“Who’s Ben?” Richie asked. His voice was quieter now, and Eddie didn’t see the smile on his face anymore. It was replaced with a frown. Eddie stopped, getting off the board and handing it to Richie.

“He’s my brother—well, step brother.”

Richie immediately stopped frowning, looking a little relieved. “Oh. Right. Yeah, I remember you telling me he helped you through a lot of rough times.”

Eddie nodded, walking with Richie. “He did. I don’t know if I would still be here today if it wasn’t for him.”

Richie’s head snapped to him. “What do you mean?”

Eddie slowed down in front of a bench, sitting down. Richie sat down next to him, letting Eddie scoot closer to him. He put an arm around his shoulder, pushing back some of Eddie's curls.

“So, you know how I told you my mom would decide what I’d eat, or what I’d drink every single day?”

Richie nodded slowly.

“Well, she usually gave me two meals—one at day, and one at night. And they’d always be something really healthy. I used to hate it at first, but after seven years, it had become a habit—something I _had_ to do. So when I got sent to my parents—my foster parents—I wasn’t used to eating more than twice, and I also wasn’t used to eating things below 100 calories.”

Eddie took a deep breath. “And every time I ate something that was, I just felt…disgusting. I didn’t feel healthy, I just felt so sick inside. So I’d go to the bathroom and force myself to um. To throw up. And at first, it was only once a day. But later, I was puking out food after every meal. Eventually, Ben heard me one night, and he barged in, pulling me away from the toilet. He didn’t tell our parents, and took it upon himself to help me. He’d spend almost every waking moment with me, stopping my urges and calming me down during my panic attacks.”

Eddie looked down. “So yeah. If it wasn’t for him, I don’t think I would be healthy--or even alive.”           

Richie was quiet, listening to every word that poured out of Eddie’s mouth. When he still didn’t say anything, Eddie was starting to worry.

He quickly shook his head. “I’m sorry, that was probably too much to reveal so soon—“

Richie leaned foreword and kissed him, making Eddie let out a small noise of surprise as he did. Eddie immediately kissed back, trying his best to imitate Richie’s actions. It was easier this time, not like last night when he had to concentrate really hard to get it right. Now, it just flowed, like the breeze flowing through Eddie’s curls.

Richie broke the kiss after a minute, leaning back to look at the full frame of Eddie’s face. He took Eddie's face in his hands, fingers grazing his soft cheeks. Eddie could only gaze in the darkness of his eyes.

Richie’s mouth opened once, and then closed. Then it opened again, like he was trying to say something.

“You’re really strong, you know that? Like a lot stronger than you think you are.”

Eddie looked down, shrugging. “Thanks, but. I’m really not.”

Richie grabbed his chin, making Eddie’s eyes fly back up to his. He looked incredibly serious, almost angry at Eddie for saying that.

“Hey,” his tone was scolding, like a parent reprimanding a child. “You are. You are the strongest person that I have ever met. And you’re going to continue to be strong, okay?” he said. “If things get rough, or you feel like you just can’t go on, you need to stay strong. You got to remember that you’ve survived through everything; and you can survive through this too.”

Eddie blinked, confused by this sudden pep talk that Richie was giving him.

“Uh. Okay?”

Richie shook his head. “No, promise me.”

“What?”

“Promise me that when—if things get bad, you’re not going to give up, and you’re going to keep being strong. Promise me.”

Richie was being extremely serious, and it was sort of making Eddie nervous.

“I-I promise.”

Richie sighed, pulling him in for a tight hug. He didn't say anything until after a minute.

“I’m sorry, I don’t mean to make you worried or anything. I just. I can’t stand the thought of you not. Not being alive, and here with me.” He pulled back, allowing Eddie to see the worry in his eyes.

Eddie found Richie’s hand and laced his fingers with his. He understood what Richie meant.

“I would never do that to you. Just like you would never do that to me.” Eddie rested his head on Richie’s chest. Richie kissed the top of Eddie’s head, staying there for a moment before pulling back. He squeezed Eddie’s hand gently, rubbing circles in his skin.

At that moment, Eddie felt complete. It was weird—he had never thought of himself as being incomplete before Richie, but now here he was, and it obvious to him that a hole in his heart had been filled up. By Richie. Richie was now a part of him, and Eddie wondered if Richie felt the same. He leaned up a bit, getting Richie’s attention.

“Um,” Eddie started nervously. “What am I to you?”

Richie tilted his head to look at him fully. He gave a confused look, not really sure what Eddie meant. 

"Like," Eddie elaborated. "Am I just a friend to you, or…” Eddie trailed off, hoping Richie wouldn't agree with that.

“You really think last night would’ve happened if I just saw you as a friend?” Richie grinned.

Eddie blushed at the memory, looking down and playing with the hem of Richie’s shirt. He felt relief spread through his chest.

“So. Does that mean we’re like, boyfriends?” The word seems foreign on Eddie’s tongue, and it makes his stomach swirl. Richie grins, kissing him on the lips quickly.

“That okay with you?” he asks.

Eddie smiles wide, all teeth and gums. He nods happily, leaning to kiss Richie quickly too. He doesn’t pull away though, and neither does Richie. They kiss slowly, taking their time. Eddie feels his heart swell, feels the fireworks exploding in his chest. He feels content, whole, and genuinely happy. When he feels Richie’s tongue peek in his mouth, he hears a whistle.

They both pull away to see where the whistle came from, and Eddie sees a group of boys heading towards them. The boy in the middle has blonde hair, and is smirking at Richie.

“So _this_ is why you canceled our plans today,” the boy says. Richie scoffs and gets up, pulling Eddie up with him. Eddie blinks, and watches as Richie greets all the boys, including the one who spoke to him.

“Trust me, this isn’t the only reason why I cancel plans with you."

The boy chuckles a little, finally looking at Eddie. When he does, his eyebrows raise a little, and he looks genuinely shocked. The blonde boy looks Eddie up and down once, almost like he can't believe it. He looks back at Richie. He begins to smirk again.

“Damn Tozier, I don’t know why I ever doubted you,” the boy says. Eddie frowns, confused. He looks up at Richie, who has a small smile.

“Yeah, me neither,” Richie says. He starts walking away from them, pulling Eddie with him. “Listen—I’ll call you later!” Richie calls out at him, and continues walking away. Eddie hears the boy snicker.

“Yeah? Before or after it’s done?” he says. Richie ignores him, the hand around Eddie’s shoulder making him walk with him.

It’s quiet for a little while before Eddie finally asks. “Who was he? And what was he talking about?”

Richie shook his head. “That’s Henry, he’s one of my oldest friends. And he talks a lot of bullshit, so don’t worry about it.”

Eddie nods. He still wants to ask what Henry meant when he said ‘before or after it’s done’, but he guesses it’s something unimportant. Eddie walks a little closer with Richie.

“I’m glad I met you.”

Richie looks down at him, looking a little surprised, and confused. “What?”

Eddie smiles. “I’m glad I met you,” he repeats. “I’ve never been this happy before, and it’s all because of you. So. Yeah.” Eddie looks ahead, smiling to himself. He feels like he’s on top of the world, and Richie’s right there beside him on the throne. He feels invincible, like nothing can bring him down. It’s an unfamiliar feeling to Eddie, but he welcomes it with open arms.

Richie doesn’t say anything, just smiles after a moment and brings his hand down to Eddie’s waist, tightening his hold. Eddie doesn’t notice when Richie looks back at Henry and the boys.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sneak Peak of Chapter Five:
> 
> “Come on, baby boy, you’re okay,” Richie coos quietly as Eddie shoves his face in Richie’s neck, hiding from the big screen. He wraps his arms around Richie’s neck, every once in a while peeking at the screen, and then looking away quickly once the music turns creepy and quiet. 
> 
> Richie holds him there, slipping a hand under Eddie’s sweatshirt—or rather Richie’s—and rubbing his stomach slowly. Eddie’s shoulders relax, feeling a lot more relaxed at the motions of Richie’s hand.
> 
> In one scene, the kids are fighting the clown, and it seems to be going well. But then, the clown suddenly pops back up, making Eddie whimper into Richie’s neck. 
> 
> Richie tightens his hold, bending his head down to kiss Eddie’s lips once. “Don’t worry, Eds. I’ve got you,” Richie whispers. Eddie feels his heart hammer for a whole different reason now. 
> 
>  
> 
> Updating Next Week!


	5. Step Five: Watch A Horror Movie With Him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First off, I just wanted to say thank you all so much for the lovely comments! They really make my day and motivate me even more, so thank you! I just didn't respond to them because I didn't want to accidentally give anything away. I don't want to reveal much, but I will say that this story has more than one plot twist. Take that as you will :)
> 
> Secondly, there is a lot of explicit content in this chapter! And I wanted to make sure that I say again that both parties are consenting in them, if it wasn't obvious through my writing.
> 
> Lastly, I hope you enjoy!

_Friday October 9 th, 2018 – 7: 13 P.M -- Dormitory 2A, Fifth Floor, Room 2069_

 

The knock on the door makes Eddie jump a little from where he’s buried under the comforters of his bed. Richie just looks over, shifting from where he's sitting next to Eddie. The blinds are open, revealing the darkening sky outside, and the room is a little dark, only light coming from the light posts outside and the dim screen light from Eddie's laptop.

“That’s probably Bill,” Eddie says. He hears Richie move, stretching and letting out an obnoxious groan.

“Aren’t you going to get it?” Richie says between a yawn. He looks at his watch.

Eddie stretches out his arms too, feeling the warmth of the underside of his laptop on his thighs. He doesn't want to move, being so comforted by the warmth.

“I’m too comfortable. You get it,” Eddie whines. Richie just scoffs, reaches over and ruffles Eddie's hair, hearing him whine. 

“The things I do for you,” he says as he slowly gets up from Eddie’s bed, groaning out again, cracking his knuckles, before opening the door.

Sure enough, it’s Bill, and then Stan following him after. Eddie closed his laptop, rubbing his eyes with both hands hard enough to see stars on the back of his eyelids. 

“Alright, you guys ready to get dinner?” Stan asked the two of them, walking in front of the mirror and fixing his hair quickly. He set down some shopping bags by the edge of his bed neatly. 

Eddie looked at the clock, realizing they had a good two hours before the movie. He got up from the bed, smoothing down his clothes.

Richie looked at his phone for a second. “Sure—Mike and Bev are almost here.”

Stan nodded, and Bill sat on the bed, opening Eddie’s laptop and seeing the screen. He snorted.

“Really? You guys are taking Buzzfeed quizzes?”

Richie shrugged. “They’re addicting. And strangely accurate.”

“When did you guys get together today?” Bill asked.

Eddie shifted, eyeing Richie nervously. “Um, in the morning. He got me breakfast.”

Now it was Stan’s turn to embarrass Eddie even further. “Wait, is that why you didn’t come home last night? Were you at Richie’s?”

Eddie feels himself grow hotter, his fingers fumbling even more. He nodded once, not being able to look Stan in the eye. He could feel everyone’s eyes bore into him—especially Bill’s. He knew that he had to tell them that he and Richie were dating, but definitely not now. It was just too awkward.

Suddenly, Richie’s phone rings. Eddie lets out a relieved sigh, grateful that the attention is off of him. Bill and Stan watch Richie answer, and nod before hanging up.

“That was Mike and Bev, they’re outside. Shall we, gentlemen?” Richie smiles, holding open the door.

As Stan and Richie went out first, Bill and Eddie followed. Bill nudged Eddie's arm, making him look up.

"So, you uh. You spent the night at Richie's dorm?" Bill asked, a questioning tone in his voice. Eddie gulped.

"Yeah."

"Oh. Cool."

The two didn't say anything for a minute, but Eddie knew the conversation wasn't over. He heard Bill take a breath, opening his mouth again.

"So did you guys...do anythi--"

"No," Eddie cut him off, sharp and quick. "Bill, it wasn't like that, okay? We're still just friends, and we only talked. That's it." He avoided Bill's stare, trying to make his face seem cool and collected.

Bill didn't say anything, but then finally nodded.

"Alright. I believe you," he said, giving a soft smile. Eddie smiled, but he felt a tug on his chest, making him feel guilty for lying to his best friend. They walked together in silence before Stan asked Bill a question, pulling him next to him. Richie took that moment to fall back to walk next to Eddie.

"So," Richie started quietly. "Did Bill interrogate you about last night?" 

Eddie scoffed. "Kind of. But I didn't tell them about us dating because I, uh..." Eddie trailed off awkwardly. But Richie quickly spoke again.

“You can take your time with telling them,” Richie said, making sure only Eddie heard him. “There’s no rush. At all.”

Eddie looked at him, lips spreading into a small smile. He was grateful that Richie understood, grateful that Richie wasn't offended or thought it was rude because Eddie really wasn't trying to be. 

“I just feel like I need to work up to it, you know?” Eddie said.

Richie nodded. He put his arm around Eddie’s shoulders, using his other hand to ruffle his hair affectionately. So that was becoming a thing, Eddie thought, unable to stop the blush on his cheeks though.

“I sure do, Eddie Spaghetti.” Richie laughed when Eddie made a disgusted noise. Stan’s head whipped around.

“Did I just hear you say ‘Eddie Spaghetti’?” he asked in a baffled tone. “Seriously Tozier, sometimes I wish you had an off button.”

Eddie snorted. “Yeah. Like a stop-talking button.” Richie opened the door for them both, placing a dramatic hand on his chest and gasping theatrically.

“I am just getting attacked—“

Suddenly, a car whooshed by them on the road, making another car beep its horns, twice. It cut Richie off, and the boys looked ahead of them, startled at the sudden sound. Bill laughed.

“Hey! He’s finally quiet! Maybe that should be a thing to shut him up—beep beep! Like the car horn!”

Richie chuckled, rolling his eyes when Eddie gasped and nodded excitedly.

“Yes! Let’s make it a thing!”

Richie shook his head. “Let’s _not_ make it a thi—“

“Beep beep, Richie!” All three of the other boys said in unison, laughing when Richie sighed and closed his mouth, smiling down at a giggling Eddie. Eddie sighed happily and looked up at him.

“At last, a solution to ninety percent of my problems,” he said, standing on his toes and kissed Richie on the cheek sweetly. He suddenly remembered that Bill and Stan were there, but before he could feel embarrassed by it, he heard a girl’s voice.

“Hey Tozier! You better not have made me cancel my plans just to watch you get smooched the entire time!”

Eddie jumps a little and turns around, seeing a girl with short, red hair walking up to them. Her voice was a little deep, and the grin on her face was the prettiest thing Eddie’s ever seen. Next to Richie, of course. Eddie sees Mike walk by her as well, giving Eddie a small smile.

Richie rolls his eyes, smirking. “Jealous, Marsh?”

The girl snorts, throwing her cigarette carelessly—that Eddie just now noticed—on the ground, stepping on it with her shoe.

“Please, we both know that being stupidly jealous is more of your thing.” The girl turned to Eddie then, looking him up and down with a small smirk. Eddie blushed, wondering who this girl was. Eddie glanced up at Richie, who quickly cleared his throat.

“Alright, Marsh. Stop staring at him like he’s a piece of meat,” Richie laughed, about to say something more, but Eddie cut him off.

“Oh, so it’s only okay when you do it?” Eddie asked him, smirking at how Richie’s eyes widened a little at the sudden remark.

The girl laughed suddenly, loud and obnoxious—a lot like Richie, Eddie noticed. Her green eyes twinkled at Eddie, looking at him with an intrigued look.

“Damn, you've got some cheek, shorty! What’s your name?” she asked. Eddie wrinkled his nose at the nickname, but answered nonetheless.

“Eddie. Kaspbrak,” he added. The girl smiled even wider, her bangs drooping down to her eyes from the wind.

“Well, nice to meet you, Eddie. Kaspbrak. I’m Bev,” she stuck her hand out and gave him a warm smile. Eddie shook it. Richie introduced her to the rest of the group, as well as Mike to Bill and Stan. Through all this, Eddie noticed Bev glancing at him every once in a while, like she was trying not to look too long. Eddie ignored it though, guessing that it was because it was the first time she’d seen him.

The group went to a somewhat fancy restaurant, sitting in a booth. Eddie was next to Richie the whole walk down, and even now when he was sitting next to him at the booth. Stan sat next to Richie on the other side, and across them sat Bill and Mike, and Bev right in front of Eddie. As the boys talked, Bev gently took Eddie’s hand in her own, observing his fingers. Eddie looked at her.

“You’ve got really nice nails,” she said, looking back at him. Eddie smiled.

“Thanks,” he said, trying to hear what the other boys were talking about, but Bev spoke again.

“You’re gay, right?”

Eddie blinked, caught off by the random question. He laughed a little.

“My nails are manicured and painted pastel pink, what do you think?”

Bev grinned, nodding after a moment. She didn’t say anything for a moment, and Eddie shifted, thinking of the worst.

“Um,” he started, feeling awkward. “That’s okay with you right? Like—“

Bev quickly shook her head. “No! That’s not how I meant it, like Jesus Christ it's 2018. I just…I just wanted to make sure."

She didn't elaborate, even when Eddie gave her a confused look and waited. Bev just smiled at him and let go of his hand, looking at the boys and listening in on their conversation. But Eddie wanted to know something.

“Um," he started, and Bev's head immediately snapped back to him, like she was waiting for him to talk again. "So exactly how long have you known Richie?” he asked, curious.

Eddie noticed that she acted a lot like Richie, whether it was the way she laughed, or how she walked even. But she had the same look—the same twinkle in her eyes that reminded him of Richie. If she wasn’t a redhead, Eddie would for sure think that they were siblings.

“I grew up with him. We lived in a town called—“

“Derry,” Eddie finished for her, smiling a bit. “I grew up there too.”

Bev’s eyes widened, a completely shocked look on her face. "Well shit! How come we never ran into each other?"

Eddie paused, not really sure how to say it. “I was homeschooled. And got sick a lot, so I couldn’t really leave the house.” _Close enough_ , he thought. Bev stared at him a little, not saying anything after a moment. She glanced at Richie, but looked back.

She nodded then, a sympathetic look on her face. “Sorry about that. But if it makes you feel any better, our school was shit. Or at least, the assholes in it.”

Eddie laughed, confused. “Really? Anyone in particular?”

Bev rolled her eyes. “Just this guy named Henry and his stupid buffoons. They spent more time hurting people than actually going to class. You know, I never understood why they were never suspended or expelled."

Eddie listened, thinking about the name. Henry. Why did that sound so familiar? He suddenly remembered what Richie said earlier today. _That’s Henry, he’s one of my oldest friends._ Eddie remembered seeing the blonde boy with the crude smirk on his face.

“But Richie’s friends with him, right? We saw him today,” Eddie said slowly. “Why would Richie be friends with him if he’s such an asshole?”

Bev took a sip of her water. “Henry might’ve made life hell for the other kids, but he saved Richie’s.”

Eddie frowned, confused and curious. “What do you mean?”

Bev looked at Richie for a moment, making sure he was still engrossed in the other conversations. She looked back and spoke quieter this time.

“I’m pretty sure Richie’s told you about his foster father, right?”

Eddie blinked, then nodded, shifting in his seat. Bev nodded once, looking down at her hands before continuing.

“Yeah, well. It got so bad that he would spend most nights in the hospital, sometimes weeks. And it wasn’t getting better because he couldn’t leave—if he did, he’d be broke and homeless. Not that anyone would have given a flying fuck.”

Eddie gulped, glancing at Richie.

“But Henry,” Bev took a breath. “Henry told him to leave and go live with him, and he gave him a job—well, Henry’s father did. Works in some big international company.”

“Really? What job?”

“Something with computers. And really hard shit like tracking and coding, and it pays like, really fucking good. I’m talking a hundred bucks an hour.”

Eddie raised his eyebrows. Bev scoffed and took another sip of water. “Lucky bastard,” she muttered as she raised the glass to her lips.

Eddie smiled, and then remembered when he went shopping with Richie. Is that why Richie didn't mind spending so much money? His thoughts were interrupted when Bev spoke again.

“But yeah, that’s why Henry’s a good friend to him…most of the time, at least.”

Eddie frowned, opening his mouth immediately to ask her what she meant by that, but the waiter came right then and passed out the menus.

Bev leaned back and poked Bill next to her, talking with him as they both peered through the menu. Richie turned to Eddie, sharing one menu folder with him.

“You okay?” Richie asked quietly, pushing back some of Eddie’s curls that fell down to his eyes. Eddie wanted to ask Richie about Henry, because clearly there was a lot he didn’t know. But he knew that now wasn't the right time.  So he smiled and nodded, and laced his fingers with Richie’s under the table. Richie smiled and placed a quick kiss on his lips, pulling away before anyone could see.

After about 20 minutes, the food finally came, and everyone dug in happily. The group engaged in their conversations, but Eddie and Richie were often talking with only each other for most of the time, unintentionally ignoring every one else. It went on like that until everyone finished their food, groaning about how full they were.

Stan looked at his watch. He clapped suddenly, getting up.

“Alright! The movie’s starting soon, so let’s go!” he said. Mike got up too, walking with him, and Bev and Bill followed, finishing their shared smoothie. Richie got out of the booth, waiting for Eddie to come with him. He placed an arm around his waist when he did, guiding them both out to the door and catching up with the others.

When they all made it to the movie theatre, they got their tickets and headed inside a room, already dark and showing the movie advertisements. Eddie was surprised to see the room quite filled up already. He wondered why people were so interested in seeing a movie about a clown eating kids. This theatre also had the recliner seats, and Eddie was thankful. He hated the standard theater seats.

When they got to the last empty seats, there were only three left.

“Oh well,” Eddie said, mocking a sad sigh. “Looks like we can’t watch this disturbing movie anymore. Gosh darn it.”

Mike laughed, and Richie shook his head at him.

“You’re not getting out of this that easy, spaghetti. And this isn’t a problem. The seats are big enough for two people, and there’s six of us. It’s perfect!”

Bill nodded, and Stan smirked at Richie. “Oh please, like this isn’t an excuse for you to cozy up with Eddie?”

Before Eddie could blush, Richie retorted back with an easy smirk.

"Maybe it’s an excuse for you to cozy up with Bill. Goes either way, Stanley.”

Stan huffed, ignoring Bill’s snicker. “Whatever,” he says defensively, sitting down next to Bill. Eddie watches them with an amused grin, definitely seeing Stan’s blush even through the dim light. He looks at Bill, who seems to be avoiding Eddie’s eye out of embarrassment. Before Eddie can tease him about it, he feels a hand snake around his stomach, pulling him down.

Eddie finds himself sitting on Richie’s lap, arms wrapped around his middle, pulling him back until his back touches Richie’s chest. Eddie feels a warm flutter in his stomach, feeling…whole. It’s the same feeling as putting together the last piece in a huge puzzle. Eddie sighs happily and wraps his own arms over Richie’s, looking down at their hands. How big Richie's are compared to his. He feels Richie bury his nose in the crook of his neck.

“This is where you belong,” Richie murmurs in his ear. “Right on my lap.”

Eddie laughs quietly. “Is that so?”

He turns his head, his nose brushing against Richie’s at the close proximity. Eddie quickly looks over to see if Mike and Bev next to them can see, but they can’t because of the recliner cushion on his seat acting as a barrier. Eddie thanks whoever made these recliners and quickly turns back to Richie and leans in, kissing him. Richie tightens his hold on him, reaching up one hand and placing it on the back of Eddie’s head, angling it for a deeper kiss.

They kiss lazily, mouths opening in sync every once in while to let their tongues lick against each other. The trailers then end, the movie about to start. Eddie pulls away, trying to steady his breathing. He faces the screen, feeling Richie nuzzle his face into his neck one more time before watching the movie.

The first few minutes of the movie is fine, and it’s actually kind of funny. The kids are adorable, and the snappy remarks that two kids in particular make have Eddie and Richie giggling silently. But then, in the library scene, there’s a sudden jump-scare with the clown, and Eddie screams and _jumps_. Like—off of Richie’s lap completely. A couple of heads turn back at them, and the rest of the group laugh quietly, making Eddie go bright red.

He hears Richie’s loud laughter, and he glares down at him, still standing. He crosses his arms.

“I don’t want to see this anymore,” he huffs, starting to walk to the stairs. His heart is still hammering in his chest and he’s almost positive he was a second away from a heart attack. But Richie chuckles and just pulls him back gently, this time laying him in his lap sideways, so Eddie’s facing the side of Richie’s face.

“Come on, baby boy, you’re okay,” Richie coos quietly as Eddie shoves his face in Richie’s neck, hiding from the big screen. He wraps his arms around Richie’s neck, every once in a while peeking at the screen, and then looking away quickly once the music turns creepy and quiet.

Richie holds him there, slipping a hand under Eddie’s sweatshirt—or rather Richie’s—and rubbing his stomach slowly. Eddie’s shoulders relax, feeling a lot more calm at the motions of Richie’s hand.

In one scene, the kids are fighting the clown, and it seems to be going well. But then, the clown suddenly pops back up, making Eddie whimper into Richie’s neck.

Richie tightens his hold, bending down his head to kiss Eddie’s lips once. “Don’t worry, Eds. I’ve got you,” Richie whispers. Eddie feels his heart hammer for a whole different reason now.  He leans his head back to get a full view of Richie’s face, wanting to savor the moment. Richie looks at him with a question in his eyes, smiling a little. Eddie puts his hands in Richie’s hair, feeling the soft curls. He pulls a little, hearing Richie groan a little. Richie takes his hands away, stroking Eddie’s wrists.

“I wouldn’t do that if I were you,” Richie says, sounding strained.

Eddie starts to smirk. He felt a playful heat start in his lower belly. “Why, does it get you all hot and bothered?” Eddie suddenly perked up, leaning into Richie’s ear. “ _Daddy?_ ” he whispers, feeling the grip on his wrists tighten in an almost painful way.

Eddie feels his cock twitch, and Richie grabs the back of his head and pulls him in for a kiss, sloppy and hard. Eddie moans into it, his hands still held together by Richie’s grip. But Richie soon lets him go to grip the back of Eddie’s thigh, rubbing up to his ass, grabbing and kneading through the cloth. Richie pushed harder into his mouth, biting Eddie’s lower lip, causing a small squeak to come out of his mouth. Eddie wondered if others could hear anything, but the movie was too loud, the constant sounds of yelling or fighting and music masking all of their noises.

Eddie moaned, feeling his member twitch with excitement. He pulled at Richie’s hair again, basking in the way Richie groaned and lifted Eddie up a little so he was completely in his lap. Richie’s other hand slipped under Eddie’s sweatshirt, feeling the hot skin of his lower back. Eddie broke the kiss, but only to continue on Richie’s jaw. He kissed down to the top of Richie’s collarbone, pulling at the hair in his fingers again. Eddie moved his leg over Richie’s, and _oh._

Richie was definitely hard. The tent in his pants poked the side of Eddie’s thigh, and he looked down, panting quietly. Eddie bit his lip, feeling Richie’s fingers playing with the hem on the back of his pants, not yet reaching under and down to his ass.

"Daddy,” he panted. “Can I?” Eddie brought one hand down and tentatively covered Richie’s crotch area, feeling his hard cock. Richie let out a half strangled, half muffled groan as he quickly shoved his head into Eddie’s neck, biting lightly. Eddie took that as a yes, and he started to slowly palm at his cock, his arm bent awkwardly at the angle.

Eddie shifted to the side, sparing a glance to Mike and Bev’s seat next to them, making sure the cushion of the chair was still hiding them completely. Eddie turned back, feeling Richie suck onto a bite he made in his neck. But Eddie wanted to feel Richie—feel his cock, specifically. And not through the rough cloth of the denim.

Eddie raised his hand to the buttons of Richie’s jeans, having to look down at his fingers to open them. The creepy music from the movie was getting louder.

“ _Fuck,_ Eddie,” Richie groaned out, pulling down his zipper quickly, letting Eddie slip his hand under his boxers, and down to his warm cock.

They both gasped the second Eddie’s small fingers grazed Richie’s cock, panting into each other’s mouths as they sloppily kissed.

Eddie began to enclose his fist around the hard shaft, feeling something warm and wet when he did—must’ve been the pre-come. Eddie began to travel down, palming at random sections, and he realizes—Richie is fucking _long,_ like seriously—his arm has to strain at such a painful angle just to touch the underside of the head. He can’t even reach the tip.

So Eddie’s only option is to go back up and stroke the rough skin he can reach. As Eddie pants into Richie’s neck, he feels his fist can’t enclose completely around Richie’s girth, so he has to move his hand in rotating circles to reach all around.

“You’re so big,” Eddie whines, feeling his stomach whirr with arousal. “I can’t, _fuck—_ ,” he can’t even finish his sentence, the throbbing in his half hard cock aching.

Richie starts to get restless, bucking up his hips and fucking into Eddie’s small hand, grabbing Eddie’s hair and pulling—hard. Eddie whimpers, feeling his crotch area starting to feel damp, and he grinds down on Richie’s thighs, feeling too hot.

“Daddy,” Eddie whines, his hand starting to cramp at the painful angle, but he keeps a steady motion, stroking him. Richie doesn’t reply though, just yanks Eddie’s head to the side and bites at his neck, hearing the boy moan louder.

“Fucking hell, baby, you do something to me,” Richie growled into his ear, finally slipping his hand under Eddie’s pants and over the swell of his ass. Eddie gasps, feeling the cold touch on his hot skin, and feels Richie kneading and grabbing roughly. That makes Eddie start to move his hand faster on Richie’s member, feeling the skin slick with more pre-come. His hand hurts, but for some reason he doesn’t stop, encouraged on by Richie’s low moans.

But the movie starts to quiet down, and Eddie realizes that’s it’s almost at the end. He must’ve realized it the same time as Richie because seconds later, he feels Richie grasp his wrist painfully--like it’s hard for him to do so-- stopping his movements. Eddie knows they’re both thinking the same thing; _we can’t finish, so we need to stop._

Richie pulls out his hand from Eddie’s pants, and Eddie feels the light sting on his ass from all that squeezing. Eddie slowly takes his own hand out, grazing his fingers along Richie’s cock as he does, hearing the boy under him hiss through his teeth. Richie grabs both of his wrists then, holding it out in front of him as he leans his forehead against Eddie’s, panting together as they try to calm down.

Eddie’s cock is throbbing less now, still sensitive against the cloth of his underwear. After a couple of minutes go by, Eddie lets out a breathless laugh.

“Why are we always doing this shit in public?” he says. He sees Richie grin after a moment, leaning his head back to look at Eddie with hooded eyes.

“True, but you started it this time,” Richie says. “I told you how crazy that name makes me.”

Eddie giggles softly. “I like seeing you go a little crazy ‘cause of me.”

Richie smiles, moving Eddie so he was sitting next to him. Richie pulls up his pants a little, making a grimace as he did.

“Great,” he groans. “Now I’m gonna have to walk out of here with blue balls.”

Eddie smirks, eyes wandering down to the significantly smaller bulge in his pants. Eddie licked up at Richie’s neck, kissing along his jawline.

“Don’t worry, I’ll take care of it later,” Eddie said in his ear, smirking when he saw Richie shiver, blinking twice. “And maybe, I won’t _just_ use my hand.”

Eddie’s own cheeks flushed at his words, not even sure how he was saying what he was saying. He knew blowjobs were a thing—it had awkwardly gotten into one of him and Bill’s conversations—and he hoped Richie knew what he meant. He only saw Richie’s jaw clench, and his eyes shutting, so Eddie decided to make it more clear for him.

“You know,” Eddie continued, hoping that Richie would get the hint. “Like instead of just touching you, I can use my mouth and suck—“

Richie suddenly grabbed Eddie’s neck, thumb pressing only slightly to Eddie’s windpipe, getting a sharp inhale out of him. Eddie made a small noise, jumping from the quick movement, and he saw Richie breathe through his nose, as if trying to stay calm.

“Eddie,” Richie’s voice was low and stern, making the hairs on Eddie’s arm shiver. “Stop fucking talking,” he says through gritted teeth, wincing when his shifted a little. Eddie finally looked down to notice that Richie was hard again. 

Wait, did Eddie do that? When he said he’d… Oh. Eddie starts to grin, loving how even his words could have such an immediate effect on Richie. Eddie grins maliciously, wiping it off quickly as he set an innocent expression on his face, blinking at him with wide eyes.

“What’s wrong, daddy?” Eddie doesn’t even know how he’s saying it so easily, but hearing Richie’s gasp makes him continue. “Don’t you want me to suck you off?”

Eddie removes Richie’s hands, leaning in to give him an open-mouthed kiss. Richie’s hand flies to Eddie’s hair slowly, like he's not sure whether to push him off or pull him in.

“Don’t you want me on my knees for you?” Eddie smirks, watching the bulge in Richie’s pants grow bigger again. “Crying as you fuck my mouth?”

Eddie knows he’s pushed it—sees the raw thrill in Richie’s eyes, and how he lets out a sharp curse, grabbing Eddie’s face and about to either give him a bruising kiss or shove him down on his knees right then and there. But then the lights are coming on, and he realizes the movie has ended.

Eddie immediately moved away, feeling his hammering heart beat with built-up desire as he made a show of acting nonchalant and stood up from his chair yawning, so Richie couldn’t grab him again. He looks over at Mike and Bev, who are now stretching as well, oblivious to Eddie’s slightly swollen lips and reddened cheeks. Bill and Stan slowly get up too, talking with each other quietly. Eddie looks down at Richie, curiosity getting the better of him.

And Richie…Richie looks pissed. His eyebrows are knitted together in a frown, his jaw clenching as he breathes through his nose, shifting uncomfortably. Eddie feels a little bad, knowing that he made Richie get hard, and then soft, and then hard again, and now soft. Or at least trying to be, from the looks of Richie’s clenching and unclenching fist in concentration. But Eddie can’t help but feel smug at Richie’s whole grumpy demeanor, loving how he had that kind of power over him.

“Well, shit!” Bev exclaims, putting an arm around Eddie’s shoulders. “This might’ve been the best movie of the year!”

Mike comes up behind them. He looks at Eddie in the dim lighting.

“Bev loves horror movies. For some reason.” He shakes his head at Bev, watching her shrug.

Bev looks down at Richie, frowning when she does. She kicks at his shoe, making the dark haired boy groan quietly, rubbing at his temples.

“Why the fuck are you still sitting, Tozier?” Bev snickers. “And why are you crossing your legs so tight?”

Richie grumbles something along the lines of ‘fuck off’, and Eddie puts on a smug grin, catching Richie’s raised eyebrow when they make eye contact.

He ignores Richie’s glare, looking at the others. “Alright, you guys can go first.”

Mike and Bev go in front of Eddie, and Bill waits for Eddie to head down the stairs so he can go behind him, but Eddie only gestures for him to go first—as well as Stan. He waits for the two boys to go completely down the stairs before looking back at Richie, who seemed less tense now, but still pissed.

Eddie gives him a happy and innocent smile, sticking his hand out to him to pull him up. Richie rolls his eyes, but takes it anyway, lacing his long fingers with Eddie’s.

“You’re gonna pay for that, you know,” Richie says, wincing as they walked down the stairs. Eddie only smirked.

“Oh, I'm counting on it.”

When they meet the rest of the group outside, Eddie lets go of Richie’s hand, but puts it around his waist, making Richie rest his hand on his hip.

“So, did you guys like it?” Stan asked them, starting to walk back to their dorms.

Eddie grinned. “Oh, for sure. It really just…built up to that climax.”

Richie coughed, squeezing Eddie’s love handle.

“It was good,” Richie said quickly, a bit awkwardly. Bill and Stan looked at him. “You know. For a horror movie.”

“How can you say that?” Bev suddenly exclaimed. “The ingenious cinematography along with the subtle, summer color of the picture invoked such a powerful melancholiness and poignance, reminding us of our childhood and innocence—no, _forcing_ us to remember through it’s somber melodies and impeccable transitions!"

Everyone looked at Bev with shock and awe—except for Richie who just rolled his eyes. Bill nodded slowly, eyes widening.

“Wow, that was so sophisticated!” he said, surprised and impressed..

Bev looked smug, holding her nose high as she grinned. Eddie smiled, walking closer to Richie as a breeze hit them.

“And also,” Bev said after a moment. Everyone perked up and listened closely for what other profound words she had to say. Bev paused.

“Did anyone else want to fuck that clown, or was that just me?”

 

 _Saturday October 10 th, 2018 – 12: 43 A.M_ \-- _Dorm Building 2F, Second Floor, Room 934_

Mike closed his drawer, stuffing his clothes in a bag. He looked around his dorm room once, scanning everything.

"I feel like I’m forgetting—“ he began to say, but Richie cut him off, sounding impatient.

“You didn’t—trust me. Just go, Hanna’s waiting anyway,” Richie said quickly, opening the door for him. Eddie was sat on Richie’s bed, smirking at his boyfriend’s impatience.

Mike looked at Richie a little weird. “Why do I feel like you’re kicking me out?”

“I’m not. Hanna wants you to sleep over, right? I just don’t want her to get mad if you’re late or something. Now get out of here, homeschool.”

Mike hummed, sighing and walking to the opened door. He waved at Eddie before he did.

“It was nice seeing you again, Eddie!”

Eddie smiled, nodding. He opened his mouth to respond, but Richie quickly closed the door behind him, turning around to face Eddie.

Eddie smirked. “Impatient much?”

“Tease much?” Richie bit back, walking over to him. Eddie crawled back a little so he was laying down, and Richie crawled right on top of him, putting his hands on either side of Eddie’s face. Eddie leaned up, kissing him as he wrapped his arms around Richie’s neck, pulling him closer. But Richie took his hands and pinned them on the bed by his head, putting down more of his weight and trapping him right there under him.

Richie broke the kiss to continue down Eddie’s neck, hearing Eddie moan and pant breathlessly, writhing the most he could under Richie’s weight. Richie bit into his neck, sucking immediately until there was a bright red mark. Eddie squeezed his eyes shut, feeling his cock start to harden from the feeling of not being able to move, and feeling the sting on his neck.

Richie pulled away, panting a little as he stared down at the boy beneath him, a hungry look in his eyes. He got off after a minute, hearing Eddie make a noise of protest.

“What—“ Eddie started, but Richie cut him off.

“Take everything off,” He said, pulling off his own shirt quickly, and Eddie’s eyes widened in excitement, fumbling over himself as he took off all his clothes, much quicker this time than the last out of increased confidence and pure arousal in seeing Richie do the same. Richie stripped down to his boxers, but didn’t remove them just yet.

When Eddie was fully naked, he put his clothes in a neat pile on the floor by the bed, crawling back anxiously as he bit his lip, running his eyes down Richie’s toned body. Richie was standing in front of him, palming at his half-hard cock through his boxers as he raked his eyes up and down Eddie’s small body, a predatory look in his eyes.

Eddie didn’t really know what to do—should he keep sitting on the bed? Or was Richie waiting for him to go up to him? He decided it was the latter, and began to get off the bed, feet touching the floor and ready to stand. But suddenly, Richie had taken a step and was now in front of him. Eddie felt a hand enclose around his throat, that hand pushing him back until he fell back onto the bed, almost awkwardly. He whimpered, shutting his eyes for moment when he couldn’t breathe for a split second. He gulped, a little bit difficult to do with Richie’s strong grip around his neck, and looked up at him, his eyes watering a little, wide and blinking.

Then, he saw something in Richie’s face soften, his eyes a bit less hard and dark. The hand around his throat loosened completely, going soft and reaching up to Eddie’s cheek, cradling it gently. Eddie let out a breath now that he wasn’t constricted, feeling Richie’s rough fingers rub his cheek in a comforting manner.

“You okay?” Richie asked, his voice low and quiet. He had a concerned look in his face, watching Eddie carefully.

“What?” Eddie was confused by the question, and he moved more to the edge of the bed, closer to Richie. “Why wouldn’t I be?”

Richie blinked, seeming like he was somewhat taken aback from the answer. But he cleared his throat, his hand on Eddie’s cheek now grabbing his chin, making the younger boy look up at him.

“That thing you said at the theatre,” Richie said, his hand pushing back some of Eddie’s curls. “About using your mouth to get me off. Do you really want to?”

Eddie nodded immediately—and vigorously, his eyes widening with excitement and anticipation. Richie chuckled at Eddie’s eagerness, tilting his head a little as rubbed Eddie’s cheeks.

“Good boy,” Richie said, but paused, his fingers stroking Eddie's cheeks slower. “Also--why is your face so fucking soft?”

Eddie laughed breathlessly, the sudden comment making some of the tension in the room thin out.

“I do moisturize! I’m not like, some hobo who hasn’t heard of lotion.”

Richie grinned, but he dropped his hands down to Eddie’s shoulders, rubbing down his arms slowly.

“But it’s not just your face—your whole body is just so, _so_ soft. Way softer than normal.”   

“Alright--now that we’ve established that I’ve got some soft fucking skin, can we go back to me about to suck your cock?”

Richie raised his eyebrow, grinning at the shameless words that left Eddie’s mouth. He sighed, unable to stop smiling for a moment. He tusked, shaking his head.

“You know what Eds,” Richie said, gripping his face a bit harshly. “You’ve got a problem.”

Eddie blinked, confused and worried. He pouted, about to ask what he meant when Richie continued talking.

“You wanna know what your problem is?” Richie asked, smirking when Eddie nodded quickly, intently listening. “The fact that you think you’re in charge.”

Eddie’s breath hitched, but Richie continued.

“Because you’re really not, baby. Not even a little, not even at all. You have absolutely no control, so stop acting like you do. You’re not the one who makes the orders—I am. You listen to _me_ , you please _me_. And tonight, you’re only here to get me off, nothing more, baby.”

Eddie breathes a little heavier, Richie’s words going straight down to his cock, making it jerk in aroused interest. His head droops a little lower, still keeping eye contact, but just…in a less bold way than before.

His cock is now completely hard, only stimulated by Richie’s words and the mental image of what will happen plastered in his mind. Hearing Richie’s words makes Eddie want to just get on the floor and start already, but like Richie said—he’s not in control. He can’t do anything except wait for Richie’s permission. That thought makes Eddie’s brain go a little fuzzy. So fuzzy that he doesn’t even hear Richie talk again.

“Hey,” Richie slapped him lightly on the cheek, just to get his attention back. Eddie blinked twice, for some reason feeling a bit slow. He had never felt so much anticipation and arousal before, all of the blood that was supposed to go to his brain going down to his crotch area. And hearing how Richie talked made him feel like he was slipping out of his own body.

Richie bent down a little and took Eddie’s face in his hands, peering into his eyes as he pulled his hair lightly, trying to get Eddie’s cloudy eyes clearer.

“Eds,” he said, voice softer. “Do you want to stop?”

That sudden question makes Eddie snap out of his headspace, and he grabbed Richie’s wrist, gulping quickly.

“No! No, don’t stop! Please, I—I’m fine, I just. I want to do that. I want to please you, like you said.” Eddie finished off shyly, seeing Richie smile after bit.

“Alright, baby. Just one more thing, though,” Richie said. “Before I cum, how do you want to let me know when you're pulling off?"

Eddie bites his lip, for some reason forgetting that blowjobs ended in someone coming. He thinks for a moment, realizing that he doesn’t really want to pull off.

“Um, no I. I actually don’t mind if you cum on me.”

Richie’s eyebrows raise, and his jaw drops a little, making the corner of Eddie’s mouth rise up.

“ _On_ you? You want me to cum on you? On your face?” Richie’s voice was deeper, and much more strained, and yeah—his cock was definitely leaking pre-come from the wet patch on his boxers. Eddie eyed his bulge hungrily, getting impatient.

“Yeah, I mean. I think it'd feel good.” Eddie licked his lips at the sight in front of him, not noticing how Richie looked a little dumb-founded for a moment, staring at Eddie. But then suddenly, Eddie felt a hand card through his hair, roughly tugging so that his head was tilted up, forced to make eye contact with Richie.

That wild, predatory look was back in Richie’s eyes, and he leaned down quickly to kiss him, hard and rough. Eddie whined a little, the hand in his hair still pulling painfully, making his cock start to dribble pre-come. But Richie didn’t relent, only pushed harder and jostled Eddie’s head to the side even more.

Richie pulled away, glancing at Eddie’s swollen lips before letting go of his hair.

“Alright,” Richie said breathlessly. “Get on your knees.”

Eddie blinks once, and then hears the order a second later. He quickly scrambles to the floor, almost falling in an effort to do so. The floor is wooden, so Eddie winces a little when he does get on his knees, but ignores the ache and looks up at Richie, waiting eagerly. Richie smirks, and takes off his boxers in one smooth motion.

Eddie’s breath hitches, and he’s full out staring at Richie’s cock. He licks his lips as he watches it bob as Richie walks over to him, pre-come making it look slick and shiny. Richie’s already half hard, and he lazily strokes himself in front of Eddie’s face, eyes glued on the way Eddie’s licking and biting his puffy lips. Eddie can only ogle, completely speechless and impressed. Richie had to have been around 9 inches, maybe even more. Not to mention his girth—which Eddie remembers he couldn’t even wrap his whole hand around.

“You’re so big,” Eddie moans a little, his hands twitching in an effort not to reach out and touch--he already knew Richie would slap his hands away. Like he said, Eddie wasn't in control. “Yeah, I know.”

“No, like. You’re _really_ big,” Eddie still can’t wrap his head around it. He kind of already knew at the theatre, but _seeing_ it was something else.

“Aw, what’s wrong, baby?” Richie taunted as he pushed two fingers in Eddie's mouth, giving him a sympathetic look. “Am I too big for you to handle? Your pretty little mouth can’t even take some cock?”

Eddie knows Richie’s teasing him, but he feels kind of annoyed that Richie might think that he can’t. He wants to prove him wrong—so he does. Eddie gives him a rebellious glare and comes off of Richie's fingers. His head lunges foreword determinedly, opening his mouth wide and taking in his cock, immedietly tasting the salty, hard skin when he does. Eddie hallows his cheeks and sucks, and hears Richie hiss suddenly.

Richie digs a hand in Eddie’s hair and pulls him off harshly, seeing a string of spit from Eddie’s bottom lip to the head of his cock. Richie curses loudly and clenches his jaw, pausing to get a hold of himself.

“Oh my— _fucking—“_

Eddie smirks.

“What was that, daddy?” Eddie says in an innocent voice. “You were saying something about how I can’t take cock?” He blinks his big, brown eyes up at Richie, eyelashes fluttering. But his smirk goes down when Richie’s eyes harden, and his face goes dark with arousal. Eddie can only blink once and open his mouth a little before Richie shoves his head back on his cock, this time much deeper.

Richie shoves him down until Eddie suddenly squeaks and gags, the head of his cock going down Eddie’s throat. But Richie doesn’t relent, only keeps him there. Keeps him whimpering and choking on his dick. Eddie’s eyes start to water, his vision going blurry. He struggles, trying to breathe through his nose.

“Yeah,” Richie looks down at him, smirking. “Not so tough now, are you?”

Eddie flutters his eyes shut, not being able to do much else besides feeling Richie slide his mouth down on his cock and then bringing him up again until he’s choking again. He blinks a few times, trying to get the tears in his eyes to fall down so he can see clearly again.

Richie sighs, tilting his head back and shutting his eyes as he guides Eddie’s mouth on his cock, fully taking control of his boy’s head. He lightly thrusts his hips up once, making Eddie gag again, his jaw starting to hurt.

“Do you remember what I told you at the theatre?” Richie asks in a slightly strained voice, like he’s trying to stay calm. He twists his hand in Eddie’s hair, making his mouth slide down his cock before pulling him up again, hearing Eddie make a small noise. Eddie looks up at him, his watering eyes blinking at the blurry vision of Richie’s face. “How I told you that I’d make you pay for that little stunt you pulled?”

Eddie blinks, and then remembers what Richie’s talking about. His eyes flutter shut when he remembers the feel of Richie’s thick cock in his hands, and then he moans when he tastes the salty, hard shaft in his mouth. The moan makes a vibration that goes right through Richie’s cock, making him groan loudly. He forces his cock down further in Eddie’s throat, the tight walls squeezing the head of his dick, making Richie moan.

“Well, this how you’re gonna do it, baby. This is how you’re gonna pay for how you tease me.” Richie suddenly shoves him further down his cock until Eddie’s nose is touching the course hair around his groin area. Eddie gags harder this time, his knees trembling, choking when Richie thrust his hips up again.

Richie smirks down at the sight, seeing a tear squeeze out of the corner of Eddie’s eye. “By letting me fuck your mouth like a good little bitch.” He says it slowly and tauntingly, and Eddie squeezes his eyes shut, feeling another tear trickle down at the lack of oxygen and pain in his scalp and throat—and the degrading words coming out of Richie’s mouth. Richie continues fucking into his mouth like it’s nothing more than a warm hole, and that thought makes something swoop in his lower stomach.

He only then realizes that his cock is spurting out even more pre-come, and it’s all running down his thighs. Eddie pants through his nose, wondering why he was liking how Richie was treating him.

As if on cue, Richie seems to be wondering the same thing. And he becomes vocal about his thoughts.

“But I’ve got a feeling,” Richie pauses, waiting for Eddie to look up at him, his wide eyes twinkling with unshed tears. “That this isn’t so much of a punishment for you. And it’s more of the exact opposite.”

Richie lets him off his dick, letting Eddie breathe heavily and greedily—only for a moment. Eddie finds his mouth sliding back up to the base of his cock, and he closes his eyes, swallowing around him. Richie continues talking, staring down at him.

“That maybe you like choking on my cock,” he says, and when Eddie moans, Richie gets his answer—well, confirms it, really. Richie smirks, and continues his thrusting, hearing Eddie whimper and gag again.

“Yeah, you’re a little cock slut for me, aren’t you baby?” Richie grunts as he fucks Eddie’s face. Eddie feels his entire body go on fire, feels the heated coil turning faster in his belly, feels his head go too dizzy. He feels the familiar tightening in his stomach. He whines, his shaky hand reaching up, but Richie grabs his wrist a little painfully, making Eddie whimper. The fact that Richie’s not allowing Eddie to touch him is turning him on even more.

“You would do anything I’d ask you to do,” Richie keeps talking, unaware of Eddie’s struggle with trying not to come. “Just because you’re hungry for my cock. Hungry for how it chokes you, right? ‘Cause you like me being rough with you—like me treating you like the desperate little whore that you are.”

Suddenly, there’s an electrifying jolt in Eddie’s stomach, and tingling warmth spreads throughout his body, his eyes rolling back and his jaw going slack, becoming completely pliant. Eddie feels his own cum splatter across his stomach, and then feels the warm liquid trickle down to his thighs slowly. He breathes slow and in a relaxed manner, his shoulders sagging down and the muscles in his hand relaxing, only being held up by Richie’s tight grip on his wrist. Eddie feels his own spit run down his chin, and then hears Richie curse loudly, and how he thrusts up twice more into his pliable mouth.

"Fucking _fuck,_ Eds—I,” Richie groans out before pulling Eddie completely off his cock. Eddie immediately coughs out when he does, distractedly taking in oxygen and still blissed out from his orgasm, his eyes fluttered shut as he feels the hand in his hair lift his head up just a little.

When Richie comes, Eddie doesn’t have to open his eyes to know that he did, because he feels the hot, sticky liquid splatter on his face, making him whine and squeeze his eyes shut tighter so none gets in. Richie sighs in ecstasy as he looks down at the cum covered boy beneath him. Eddie’s still panting, his mind still in fuzzy haze, but he slowly opens his eyes, blinking a little as his eyelashes feel heavier, white on the top edges of his vision.

He feels the cum on his chin fall down further, threating to drop on the ground, and remembers the pain in his knee caps. Eddie whimpers and looks up, his watery eyes pleading at Richie. In a second, Richie lifts him up into his arms like he weighs nothing and sets him on the bed, quickly running to the bathroom and coming back before Eddie could say anything.

Eddie feels a cool, wet towel swipe down his stomach, wiping off his cum quickly and carefully. He sighs, feeling completely relaxed as he lets his limbs go heavy on the bed, not planning to move on his own for a while. When Richie finishes wiping his stomach, he comes up to Eddie’s face, ready to wipe the cum off there as well, but Eddie moves his head to the side a little, as if to say ‘wait’.

He darts a tongue out and licks his bottom lip, swallowing Richie’s cum. He hears Richie inhale sharply, but ignores it, tasting the substance. It’s bitter, and it feels too sticky in his mouth, but he swallows some more, licking his lips as he looks at Richie, who is currently watching how his tongue is reaching out to get some more of the liquid.

But Richie quickly gets the silent message, and takes two fingers and swipes across his cheek, gathering some of his cum. When Eddie immedietely opens his mouth, he sticks those fingers in slowly, feeling Eddie close his mouth and swallow around them, licking off the remnants slowly.

Eddie flutters his eyes shut, occasionally opening them and sighing contentedly. Richie continues the process, taking more cum and feeding Eddie, taking his time and observing him with an amazed look in his eye.

“Fucking hell, baby,” Richie breathes out, gathering the last bit of cum on Eddie’s cheek. “You should not be legal.”

Eddie swallows around his fingers for the last time, grinning up at him. Richie shakes his head in a disbelieving manner and folds the wet towel to the clean side, wiping over Eddie’s face gently.

“Yeah well, your words shouldn’t be legal,” Eddie blushed a little, remembering. “How does someone even talk that much with their dick in someone’s mouth?”

Richie grinned. “It is a gift,” he said smugly. “Besides, don’t act like you didn’t like it. You came untouched from my words, isn’t that right?”

“Well, that and the fact that you were choking me with your monster dick,” Eddie said, starting to sit up. Richie laughed, walking to his drawer and pulling out a pair of boxers.

“Huh. So you’ve got a choking kink, then.” Richie slipped them on and settled back in the bed, lifting Eddie up until he was laying on him, just like last night. Eddie leaned up, his blush spreading to his cheeks.

“Um, maybe? I don’t know, I just really liked how you…used me, I guess. Like you didn’t even care that I was choking because you just wanted my mouth.”

Richie hummed down at him, thinking about something as his eyes gazed over Eddie’s face.

“Also,” Richie added. “Monster dick? I’ve never been more flattered.” Richie laughed, and Eddie made a face, rolling his eyes but smiled anyway.

“Seriously though, you’re fucking huge. I don’t even know how that thing is going to fit inside me.” Eddie’s eyes widened as the words left his mouth, and so did Richie’s. They both froze for a moment, the air between them growing tense and silent. Eddie winced a little and shut his eyes, bracing his mind to think of something to say. But Richie beat him to it.

“Jesus, Eds. And I’m the one who talks too much.” Richie laughs gently, not crude or mocking, but a warmness on his face that lets Eddie relax again, the blush slightly less red.

“Sorry, I shouldn’t have said that, I just—“

“Whoa, wait,” Richie interrupted him. “Please don’t take that back. You can’t do that to a man's hopes, Eds.”

Eddie giggles, rolling his eyes. But he bites his lip, being serious again. “Yeah? You really want to...go all the way?”

“I mean, have you seen your ass? Obviously,” Richie chuckles when Eddie playfully hits him on the shoulder. But he reaches a hand out to Eddie’s face, cradling his cheek. Eddie nuzzles into his hand, closing his eyes for a second.

“But only if you want to,” Richie says seriously. “If you want to wait, or think it’s too soon, then we won’t—“

Eddie furiously shakes his head, shifting up further so he’s closer to Richie’s face. “No, I don’t want to wait. I,” Eddie paused, trying to find the right words. “I’ve never been so _close_ to someone, and now that I am, I only want more. And I only want it with you—I want everything. I don’t care if it’s too soon. All I know is that I don’t want to take this slow because I know that it’s you, Richie. I know that you’re the person that I’m meant to be with.”

Eddie took in a breath after his rant, peering into Richie’s eyes so that he could see he was sincere. Richie blinked, not saying anything. He gazed down at Eddie’s face, expression unreadable. But his eyes looked a little sad, almost pained. Richie pushed his hair back, taking in every inch of the sight in front of him.

“Eddie, I…,” Richie said quietly. He opened his mouth and then closed it, like he was struggling with saying something. But the sad look in his eyes was quickly gone, and he gave a small smile. “I feel the same way. I know that you’re the one for me, too.”

Eddie beamed, smiling wide and lunging foreword, kissing him as he felt his heart burst with happiness. He pushed his tongue too fast inside Richie’s mouth, by now knowing it would happen eventually. Richie let out a surprised noise and kissed back firmly, carding a hand through his hair and angling his head like he wanted.

Eddie didn’t know how long they kissed, but it was slow and sweet, like the world had stopped rotating just for them. Like he and Richie were the only people that really mattered. Like Richie was the only person that really mattered.

Eddie pulled back, licking his lips. He opened his mouth, wanting to say something but instead let out an involuntary yawn.

Richie chuckled at that, looking very fond of the boy on his chest. He pulled up the blanket on top of Eddie, and gently pushed his head down so it was resting on his chest.       

“Let’s go to sleep, baby. It’s been a long day,” Richie said warmly. Eddie hummed and rested his head for a little bit. But then, he remembered him and Bev's conversation back at the restaurant.

Eddie lifted his head back up, getting Richie's attention immediately.

“Wait, um. Remember that boy—Henry?” Eddie started after a moment. Richie didn’t say anything, only waited for him to continue. “I know he’s your friend but. But Bev told me that he wasn’t a good friend to you all the time. What did she mean?”

Richie sighed after a moment, shrugging. “Oh, she's just--Bev’s never really liked him. It doesn’t mean anything though.”

Eddie frowned. “Usually when someone doesn’t like another person, they have a reason behind it.”

Richie nodded after a second, seeing his point. “Yeah—I know, but. I don’t know, Bev just thinks he’s a bad influence or something. It’s really not a big deal.” Richie was clearly trying to get Eddie to drop it, but he didn’t. Eddie only frowned again, staring at Richie for a minute.

“Why is he a bad influence? Has he done something to you? Because if—“

Richie sighed exasperatingly, a reassuring smile spreading on his lips. He placed his hands behind his head.

“Whoa-- _easy,_ Spaghetti. I never said he was, Bev just thinks that. She just doesn’t understand his…humor.”

Eddie raised his eyebrows. “Humor?”

Richie nodded, shrugging. “Yeah. I mean, I guess she hates how he treats everything like a joke. Even though I literally have the same humor, but you know, logic doesn’t go through her,” Richie jokes.

Eddie doesn’t smile or laugh, but his frown lessens as he listens. “But you don’t.”

Richie looks confused. “What?”

Eddie relaxes a little, placing his chin on the top his hands on Richie’s chest. “You don’t have the same humor. I mean, sure, you joke, but you don’t treat everything like a joke,” Eddie explains. “Because I honestly couldn’t be with someone like that.”

Richie looks at him, a curious look in his eye. “Really? Why not?”

“Because, it’s exhausting. Pretty soon they’re going to treat you like a joke too, like your feelings don’t even matter anymore.” Eddie yawns again and moves his head so his cheek rests against Richie’s chest.

Richie’s breath is even, and he speaks a moment later in a quiet voice. “Yeah, but. It’s kind of not that serious. I mean, joking around isn’t something to break up over.”

“It is when there’s feelings involved,” Eddie responded, voice soft and quiet, his eyes closing sleepily. “Because playing with someone’s heart like that—it’s too cruel.” Eddie yawns, snuggling closer to Richie, hearing the pitter patter of his heart.

He starts to drift off, sleep overcoming him like a soft, fluffy blanket, enveloping him in the safety of Richie’s arms. He’s content, and relaxed. And he’s the only one who sleeps that night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, but there's no sneak peak for the next chapter! I felt like it would give too much away, but don't worry--I'm going to update next week! 
> 
> Hope you enjoyed! (Also, I'm kind of dumb so help a sister out--should this fic have an explicit rating and not mature? I wasn't completely sure, so if someone could tell me, that would really help, thanks!)


	6. Step Six: Take His Phone By Accident

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! So sorry for the late update! I've been completely swamped with finals and AP tests, and I really didn't want to rush this chapter just to post soon. But I really hope you all enjoy this chapter!
> 
> Note: I also wanted to say that there is an explicit part in this chapter, and I wanted to make it completely clear that both parties are consenting. I try to make it obvious through my writing, but if it's not, just know that they both consent to whatever happens.

Eddie sucked on his lozenge lightly as his fingers laced with Richie’s. They walk through the store, eyeing the types of clothing, making disgusted noises when they passed by some particularly atrocious outfits, and hummed appreciatively when they found decent ones. Eddie posed in the shirts, looking at Richie for affirmation when he found a top that he liked. And each time he did it, Richie would nod immediately, not even taking any time. The fourth time it happened, Eddie laughed and rolled his eyes.

“You can’t just say yes every time, Rich.” Eddie smiled as placed the hanger back on the rack, walking forward again.

“Hey, it’s not my fault you look sexy in everything,” Richie gave a cheeky grin and swung his arm around Eddie’s neck, making the boy huff in pretend annoyance.

They walked further into the store until they stopped in front of some awfully hideous clothes. They giggled as they inspected the horrible clothing, wondering who in the hell thought they were a good idea.

“But I mean,” Richie shrugged. “You’d still look sexy in it—like I said.”

Eddie rolled his eyes, the compliment making him happier than it should have.

“Oh please. If I showed up to our date in _that_ , you’d break it off right then and there.”

Richie suddenly froze, whipping his head to Eddie, looking surprised. It was so random that Eddie immedietly dropped his smile, worried.   

“What?” he asked.

“We haven’t gone on a date.”

“What?” Eddie felt like a broken record.

Richie sighed dramatically, pulling Eddie by the arm to the fancier part of the store. “We haven’t gone on a date! Like I literally choked you with my dick before taking you out.”

Eddie’s eyes widened, and he hit Richie’s shoulder scoldingly, whipping his head around to see if anyone was nearby. “Richie!” he hissed.

Richie chuckled. “Sorry, sorry. But it’s true!” He started to push through the expensive shirts on the rack, a determined look on his face.

“Don’t worry, though. Let’s shop for what we’ll wear, and then tonight, I’m going to take you out to the fanciest of restaurants you’ve ever seen in your nineteen long years, Eddie Spaghetti.” Richie grinned as he observed another shirt, putting it up against Eddie’s chest and pondering.

Eddie couldn’t help but smile—despite the awful nickname in the end. Richie was being so enthusiastic and excited just because he wanted to go out on a date with him, and that thought made something flutter in his stomach. But his eyes widened when he saw the price tag of the shirt that Richie was holding up to him.

“What the fuck—we are _not_ getting these clothes.” Eddie took the shirt and put it back, pulling Richie’s arm to lead him out of the stores.

“But why? Come on, just ignore the prices. I told you, I don’t mind spending money on you,” Richie protested and started to tug Eddie back.

“No, I don’t want you wasting your money like that—even on me,” Eddie said. The woman at the cashiers gave them a puzzled look, watching the two go out and in of the store again and again. Eddie gave her polite smile and pulled Richie out for the final time, giving him a look that said, _it’s okay._

Richie finally gave in, and stopped looking back at the store with curious eyes. He sighed and plopped an arm around Eddie’s shoulders, looking down at him.

“If I recall,” Richie said. “You didn’t particularly mind me spending money on you before. What changed?”

Eddie bit his lip, remembering the conversation that Bev and him had at the dinner.

“Before, I thought you were just some reckless guy who was born with a lot of money. But last night, Bev told me that you have a job. And you work like, really hard. And I don’t want your hard work to be spent on me,” Eddie said, swishing the lozenge from one cheek to the other, looking up at Richie.

“But I _want_ to—“ Richie started to say, but Eddie cut him off.

“Yeah, I know you want to spend it on me. But, I respect you way too much to let you do that.”

Richie widened his eyes, placing a dramatic hand on his chest. “You _respect_ me? Careful Eds, don't get a man's hopes up like that.”

Eddie giggled, leaning into Richie a bit more. “I do, though! Like I don’t see you as that same immature, lazy fuck-boy like when we first met.”

Richie let out an offended noise, but Eddie continued, throwing his arms around Richie's neck and carding a hand through Richie's wild curls.

“Now I see you as someone important, someone I want to spend the rest of my life with.” Eddie smiled and kissed him slow, pulling away after a minute.

“Yeah, well. What if that ‘someone important’ wants to spoil you on our date?” Richie questioned.

Eddie shook his head. “If you really want to spoil me, Rich, all you have to do is show up. And I swear, nothing will make me happier than that.”

Richie stared into his eyes, a small smile on his lips. His expression was unreadable, and he didn’t say anything for a while, just rubbed the soft skin on Eddie’s cheek. Finally, he dove down, kissing him once more. Eddie sighed into the kiss a little, never tiring of the feeling. The kiss was effortless, and Eddie didn’t even have to think about what to do anymore. It was becoming like a second nature to him. Their mouths opened slightly, and Eddie could feel the lozenge swishing around his cheek.

Richie pulled away then, looking down at him with a worried look.

“How’s your throat? Is the lozenge helping?”

Eddie sucked on it, swallowing to test if he’d feel any pain. When he did, he winced a little, making a face.

“A little, it still kind of hurts.”

“Sorry,” Richie looked apologetic. “I was probably way too rough for your first time, I—“

Eddie shook his head quickly. “No! You weren’t, okay? I liked it, trust me. It felt…good.”

Richie chuckled, unsure. “Really? ‘Cause I’m pretty sure I hurt you more than I wanted to.”

Eddie blushed, voice quieter. “Yeah…and I liked it.”

Richie looked down to him at that, a curious look in his eyes. Eddie felt his heart hammer as he continued walking.

“Look, I just. I don’t like being treated like I’m delicate—in bed, I mean. So as long as you don’t do that, anything’s fine,” Eddie said.

Richie slid his arm down to his waist, squeezing once and curling his hand on his hip. He placed a kiss on the top of Eddie’s head. Eddie smiled and looked up, his heart warming at the fond gesture.

“Let’s have it tonight.”

Eddie blinked. “What?”

“The date. Let’s have it tonight,” Richie said, a smile already on his face.

Eddie began to smile too, realizing that the date didn’t have to be later. He nodded happily.

“Okay,” he said, biting his lip in attempt to stop the way-too-excited grin on his face. Richie looked at him again.

“Are you sure you’re okay with food that’s not top notch?”

Eddie nodded again, firmly. “Yes, a million times yes. Let’s just get noodles or something, I’m in the mood.”

Richie grins and ruffles the top of his hair. “Alright then, whatever my boy wants, he gets.”

 

_Saturday October 10 th, 2018 – 6: 27 P.M – Noodles and Company_

Richie was dying. Like, face completely red and almost falling off his chair while wheezing and coughing. And Eddie sat across from him, giggling like a maniac as he watched his boyfriend choke on air.

“I told you it’d be too spicy!” Eddie laughed again before finally pouring some more water in Richie’s glass.

When they first had ordered, Eddie warned Richie not to get this one dish because he’d heard it was way too spicy, but Richie only took that as a challenge, claiming he could ‘handle it’, him being a tough 'man' and all. But he didn't even end up swallowing his first bite, only spit it out instead.

Richie grabbed the glass and gulped down the water, tears watering up in his eyes. But he couldn’t help the smile as he heard Eddie’s giggles.

Eddie couldn’t even eat due to his uncontrollable laughter. He was thankful he and Richie had gone to a casual restaurant because they weren’t the only table making a lot of noise.

“Okay,” Richie wheezed a little bit more. “So maybe you were right.”

Eddie rolled his eyes, still grinning from ear to ear as Richie’s face became less red. He swirled his fork around his own noodles and placed them on Richie’s plate, away from the spicy ones.

“Here, have mine. I don’t want you dying on our first date,” Eddie snickered.

Richie grumbled, but took a forkful of Eddie’s noodles. “Well, you seemed to like it, laughing like an evil little gremlin.”

Eddie hummed, nodding happily. “Serves you right for ignoring what I said.”

Richie scoffed, taking another forkful and shoving in his mouth. They ate for a few more minutes before Richie suddenly leaned in, pushing his plate in the middle of the table. Eddie looked up, confused.

“Take some from mine.” Richie motioned to the little noodles that was left. Eddie gave him a weird look but did so anyway. At the same time, Richie dug his fork in too, so that some of his noodles were also in Eddie’s forkful.

Eddie finally realized what Richie was trying to do, and he laughed, not yet putting the fork in his mouth.

“Oh my god,” he giggled. “You’re such a dork.”

Richie grinned and ate his noodles, motioning for Eddie to do the same. Eddie did, smiling as he swallowed the noodles. The ends of his noodles were already in Richie’s mouth, their heads moving closer and closer.

Eddie laughed through his nose, and Richie leaned in closer. He couldn’t believe they were actually doing this—acting out the noodle scene from Lady and the Tramp like two cringe-y love obsessed people.

Finally, their lips met, messy with the pesto sauce from the noodles. Eddie squeaked when Richie pushed his head in, the noodles dripping out messily between them as they kissed sloppily. It was disgusting, and definitely should have made Eddie pull away. But he didn’t—he couldn’t. Instead he kissed back, the two of them giggling in the messy, pesto-tasting kiss as they licked into each other’s mouths.

A heavy pull tugged down on Eddie’s heart, a flutter of warmth spreading through his chest and down to his toes. He opened his eyes just a little, but only to see Richie’s opened too, gazing in his. Eddie finally pulled away, laughing quietly as he grabbed a tissue.

“We’re so cringey,” Eddie said as he wiped his mouth and chin. Richie only grinned, chewing the last of his noodles in his mouth. “And gross.”

“It’s not gross! It’s romantic--the lady and the tramp did it!”

“Richie, they were _dogs_!”

“Your point?”

Eddie rolled his eyes, smiling as he drank the last of his water. Richie drank his too, and the waiter came by.

“Everything okay?” she asked, a sweet smile on her face.

Richie grinned. “More than okay. And uh, I think we’re done?” Richie said unsurely, looking to Eddie for confirmation as he dug through his pockets for his wallet. Eddie nodded quickly, leaning back into his chair to show that he was done.       

Richie handed the waitress his credit card, and she went to the back, taking their empty dishes. Eddie looked at Richie then, for no particular reason other than to look. He noticed the veins on Richie’s arm as he brought it up to his hair. Then he noticed that Richie’s hair seemed a bit tamer today, like he might have actually combed it. His eyes were light, less dark than usual, and his lips were curled into a grin.

“Like what you see?” Richie smirked.

Eddie pouted. “Yes, you smug asshole. It’s not fair. How do you look so good all the time?”

Richie laughed, opening his mouth to respond. But the waitress came and handed him his card. Richie nodded and thanked her, motioning for Eddie to get up. They both left the restaurant, taking a step outside in the darkening sky. Richie put his arms around Eddie’s shoulders, talking again.

“It’s a secret. But if you want to know, I can tell you,” Richie finally responded. Eddie looked up at him, curious. Richie took that as a yes and continued.

“Well, you see. When two people start dating, certain chemicals are released from their brain. One, is the most obvious—dopamine. This is the chemical that just makes you feel like the happiest man on earth, and it makes you driven and motivated to be satisfied. The other one, is serotonin. Serotonin makes you completely and blissfully unaware of the other person’s flaws because you are so in love with them.”

Eddie’s heart lurches when he hears the word ‘love’, and Richie’s walking goes a little awkward for a moment, like he didn’t mean to say that. They’re both silent for a while, but then Richie clears his throat.

“But yeah,” he says. “That’s why I look good all the time. ‘Cause your brain is releasing those chemicals and making you see something perfect. It’s all science, Eds.”

Eddie listens, pondering. Then he shakes his head.

“I don’t think it’s science.”

“What?”

“Love,” Eddie says. “I don’t think there’s any science behind it."

“Even after everything I told you?”

Eddie nodded. “What you described—that was mostly lust. Not love.”

Richie didn’t say anything for a moment, only walked with him. Eddie looked at his face, which carried an expression that he couldn’t read.

“Is there really a difference?” Richie finally said, making a turn. Eddie frowned as he went with him.

“Obviously. Lust has nothing to do with love.”

Richie snorted then, making Eddie blink. He gave Eddie a small smile, his eyes twinkling as a breeze swept past them.

“What?” Eddie asked, confused. Richie smiled, shaking his head absently and pulling him closer.

“Nothing. I just…forget that you're younger sometimes.”

Eddie looked at him, his eyebrows knitted together. “What, so you think I'm wrong?”

Richie hesitated, not really sure how to say it. “Yeah, to be honest. Look, lust has everything to do with love. It’s how love starts, and it’s what keeps a relationship going.”

Eddie raised his eyebrows, a baffled expression on his face. “Are you serious? You can’t honestly believe that.”

Richie paused, thinking for a moment.

“Alright, let me make you understand,” he said. “Be honest; if I was ugly, would you be here with me right now?”

The question is so random and unexpected that Eddie barks out a laugh, giving Richie a weird look. Richie grins and shakes his head.

“No seriously! If I was some 200 pound, acne-infested and gap-toothed, smelly guy, would you have continued talking with me that Thursday night, when we first met?”

Eddie wrinkles his nose at the mental image of Richie’s words, not saying anything for a moment. He knows that he should say yes, that he would go out regardless of how he looked if he had a nice personality, but Eddie can’t bring himself to say so.

He sighs. “Alright, fine. Maybe I only continued to talk with you because you were the hottest guy I’d ever seen—“ Richie grins, “—and our relationship might have started with lust, but not anymore. I learned more about you, and I grew to love you for who you are, not how you look.” Eddie says the last part quieter, his heart beating like crazy as Richie looked at him. “Alright? So you’re wrong. Lust isn’t what keeps a relationship going, love is. Truly knowing the person, and trusting them fully keeps it going.”

Richie perks up at that, glancing at him. He opens his mouth, and then closes it. Then he opens it again.

“So uh, what would happen if that trust is broken then?”

Eddie looks up at him, shrugging. “Then it would pretty much be over, wouldn’t it? I mean, you could forgive them, but. You’d never trust them fully ever again, so. What’s the point, right?”

Eddie shivered as a breeze wept passed them again, leaning into Richie more as he looked up at the moon-lit sky.

Richie was quiet for a while, the conversation stopping short at that. They both walked in silence for a while, until Richie’s phone rang once. He pulled it out, looking at the screen.

Eddie watched his face grow a little tense, his jaw clenching. He frowned.

“What? Who is it?” he asked.

Richie looked at him, quickly shaking his head and tucking his phone back in his pocket. “Oh—just Mike. He um. He said he’s going to be out.”

Eddie nodded, humming. “Oh, so is Stan. He’s going to be staying at Bill’s this weekend.”

Richie turned to him. “Really?”

Eddie nodded, rubbing his hands up and down his arms, trying to warm up. Richie followed his movements and smiled a little, placing his own hands on Eddie’s arms and doing the same.

“Hey uh,” Richie started. “How about we go to your dorm?”

Eddie perked up, immediately nodding his head. “Yeah, okay.”

Richie smiled at him, pushing back some of his curls and leaning down, kissing him softly. Eddie melted into it, letting Richie angle his head slightly as he felt Richie’s tongue peek into his mouth. When he pulled away, Eddie felt a flame of desire and passion start up in his chest.

_Saturday October 10 th, 2018 – 8: 00 P.M -- Dormitory 2A, Fifth Floor, Room 2069_

When they got to the building, someone was playing loud music from upstairs, the constant beats filling Eddie’s ears as he got closer to his room. He knew it was Jacob, the stupid fucker who apparently didn’t know what headphones were. But he couldn’t find himself to be mad—not really. Because a whole bundle of nerves were already taking a home in his stomach.

Eddie held a slightly shaking hand to swipe his keycard, opening the door and hearing the quiet noise as he did so. He went in, hearing Richie follow and close the door behind them. The music was much quieter now, muffled and filling up the silent air between the two.

Richie turned on the lamp light, letting a dim, yellow hue float in the room. Eddie turned to him, biting his lip and awkwardly looking everywhere but Richie’s face.

He remembered what he told Richie last night, how he didn’t want to wait. And he doesn’t. He knows for sure that he wants to go all the way tonight, because he knows for sure that Richie is the one for him. But he’s not quite sure how to initiate it. So he waits. Waits for Richie to do it instead.

Well, that turns out to be a bad idea because Richie doesn’t do anything, just stands there like an idiot while Eddie is screaming at him in his mind. Finally, Eddie’s eyes snap to Richie’s face, wondering why the hell nothing happened in the last five minutes.

Richie has his head tilted back a little, looking at Eddie with intrigued eyes and an amused smile, like he knows that Eddie was waiting for him.

Eddie finally lets out an impatient sigh.

“Why are you just standing there?”

Richie smirks. “Why aren’t you telling me what you want?”

Eddie frowns, a small pout on his lips. “Because…it’s awkward.”

Richie scoffs. “You’ve let me come on your face and then swallowed it up like a fucking smoothie. I think we’re way past ‘awkward’, Eds.”

“Yeah, but sucking a dick and fucking are two different things.”

Richie raises his eyebrows, silent for a beat. “So…do you want to wait—“

“No! No, I already told you I don’t want to wait.”

Richie closes his mouth, nodding. He stares at Eddie for a little bit, like he’s trying to read Eddie’s facial expressions.

“You know it’ll hurt, right?”

“I have a high pain tolerance.”

Richie closes his mouth, a small smile on his lips. He finally walks to Eddie, touching his cheek while his thumb strokes the skin on his jawline.

“I need you to tell me what you want.”

And Eddie isn’t surprised to hear those familiar words. He sighs dramatically.

“Why? Why the fuck do you make me say things that you already know?” he whines.

Richie tuts, his fingers gripping Eddie’s face a little tighter.

“Eddie,” he says sternly. “I’m not making you say it for me, alright? I’m making you say it for you. Sometimes people think they want something only to realize that they didn’t want it after it’s done. But when you say what you want out loud, you have a chance to actually hear it in your own ears and decide how you truly feel about it. So stop being a little brat and do as I say.”

Eddie huffs, but he realizes that it makes sense, and Richie’s only looking out for him. His heart swells a little at that. He shuffles his feet, gathering the courage.

“I um,” he starts, looking up at Richie through his eyelashes. “I…I want you to fuck me.”

Richie inhales a little sharply, his jaw clenching as he waits. Eddie stares up at him, also waiting. For what? He has no fucking idea.

Eddie then assumes that Richie is waiting to see if he’ll change his mind, but Eddie is far from that possibility.           

“Yup,” Eddie nods after Richie doesn’t say anything, face casual. “I still want your dick up my ass.”

The edge of Richie’s mouth twitches, like he’s trying not to laugh, and Eddie grins up at him, trying to ease some of his nerves. Richie’s eyes darken a little and he dives in, kissing Eddie with such force that his head gets pushed back.

Eddie moans, his arms immediately wrapping around Richie’s neck and positioning his body closer. Richie licks his lower lip, biting until Eddie whimpers and opens his mouth, the kiss already becoming filthy as Richie puts a hand in his hair and the other down to his ass.

It’s already escalating so quickly, and Eddie doesn’t even care. All he can think of is the bliss and euphoria that comes when he’s with Richie, like right now. He pushes into Richie’s mouth, kissing back with just as much force, maybe even more. Richie’s hands grabbed the hem of his shirt, breaking the kiss momentarily to pull off his shirt.

Eddie panted when they did, watching Richie do the same with hungry eyes. Richie threw his shirt somewhere, and took off his pants. Eddie didn’t need to be told to do the same, both boys scrambling to get their clothes off.

“Get on the bed,” Richie ordered, stripping down to his boxers, not yet taking them off. Eddie slipped out of his own, and fell back to the bed, eagerly waiting. Richie bent down and took his wallet out of his pant pockets, throwing on the bed next to Eddie.

Eddie opened his mouth to ask why, but Richie was already planting his mouth on his, shoving his tongue in his mouth. Eddie moaned and fell back, linking his arms around Richie’s neck and pulling him back with him.

Richie kissed him fast, passionate and impatient. He suddenly took Eddie’s arms off his neck and pinned them to the bed on either side of Eddie’s head. His hands were strong, keeping his hands in his strong hold. Eddie moaned louder, feeling Richie break the kiss and start to kiss down at his jaw.

Eddie tilted his head, baring his neck and moaning as Richie bit and sucked into his neck. The familiar wave of arousal hit him again, much stronger and hotter this time. He felt his head go a little dizzy, making him close his eyes for a second.

His cock was leaking precome like crazy, ignored and trapped between Richie’s hips. Eddie only now realized that he was always the one completely naked before Richie, never the other way around. He knew it was because Richie wanted to drag this out, to take his time in fucking him. But Eddie didn’t want time. He wanted it now.

“Richie,” he panted, his voice breathless and high-pitched. But Richie didn’t say anything, too distracted from sucking a hickey on his neck. Eddie called out his name again, but it wasn’t getting his attention.

“Ri—ah, fuck. Daddy!” Eddie moaned when he felt Richie grind his hips down. Richie lifted his head, staring down at him for a second before diving in and pressing a bruising kiss on his lips.

Eddie moaned into it, trying to lift up his own hips, but Richie’s weight was too heavy on him, strapping him down.

He felt overwhelmed, and jittery, like all of this adrenaline was there and had no where to go. All he knows is that it’s taking too long—he needs to feel Richie, needs to feel him inside. He moved his head, breaking the kiss and looking at Richie.

“Please just—“ Eddie swallowed, trying to regain his breath. “Just fuck me. Please I—I want it so bad, daddy!”

Richie groaned, cursing lowly. He grabbed his wallet, opening it to take out a lube packet. _So that’s why_ , Eddie thought. Richie tore it open quickly.

“You’ve fingered yourself before, right?” Richie asked, getting a pillow and placing it under Eddie’s hips. Eddie nodded, urging him on. He spread his legs obscenely, letting Richie stare hungrily. Eddie moaned at the exposed feeling and subconsciously touched his cock. But he barely grazed it when he felt his hand being pushed away.

“You’re not allowed to do that,” Richie warned. Eddie raised his eyebrows, scoffing breathlessly.

“What do you mean I’m not _allowed?_ It’s my body, for fuck’s sake.”

Richie suddenly put the packet down, and grabbed his leaking cock, stroking and gripping. Eddie gasped in surprise, jerking a little and moaning in pure bliss. Richie thumbed at the head, making him squirm and whimper. Richie leaned in, watching Eddie fall apart as he quickly stroked him.

“It might be your body,” Richie said lowly. “But it belongs to me. I can do whatever I want to you because _you_ belong to me. So this little thing,” Richie squeezed his cock, making Eddie whimper. “Is my property. And my property doesn’t belong to you. So you’re not allowed to touch it. Do you understand me?”

Eddie moaned back, Richie’s words shooting straight down to his cock, making it painfully harder. Richie let go of it though, and grabbed his hair and pulled, making him whimper in pain.    

“I said,” he leaned down to his ear, whispering lowly. “Do you understand me?”

Eddie shivered, his hands gripping the sheets. “Yes, daddy.”

Richie smirked. “Good boy.” He kissed him once more before nudging his legs further, putting himself in between. Picking up the lube packet, he dipped one finger in, making sure to lather it. Eddie panted in anticipation, feeling the tips of his toes go hot.

When Richie was satisfied with the amount of lube, he dropped the packet and put his dry hand on Eddie’s cock, not stroking but just…holding it, gripping lightly. Eddie threw his head back and writhed, but when he felt a blunt pressure on his hole, his body jerked.

He started to whine, the feeling of Richie’s finger circling around the puckered hole, not yet pushing in. His rim fluttered around the pad of Richie’s finger, trying to coax it in. But Richie wasn’t doing anything. He just held Eddie’s cock in one big hand and teased his rim with the other, watching the smaller boy beneath him whimper and moan.

“Daddy!” Eddie sobbed. “Please please please hurry up I can’t—“

Richie moved his hand from his cock and placed it on his thigh, rubbing soothing circles into the soft skin. “Shh, I’ve got you baby, calm down.”

Eddie swallowed, trying to calm down his breathing, but that plan was immedietly forgotten when Richie’s finger pushed in, all the way to the knuckle in one smooth move.

Eddie jerked, throwing his head back and letting out a small squeak. He shut his eyes and winced a little, trying to get used to the feeling. He heard Richie curse above him.

“ _Jesus_ , you’re fucking tight. When’s the last time you fingered yourself?” Richie asked in awe. He moved his finger just a bit, getting used to the tight warmth.

“Um,” Eddie said shakily, trying not to clench down on Richie’s finger. “Like uh… two three weeks ago?”

Richie inhaled sharply, not replying. He began rubbing Eddie’s thigh comfortingly, and then slid his finger back out only to put it back in gently. Eddie moaned a little, his hands fisting at the sheets as his head turned to the side.

Richie added a second finger two minutes later, making sure he gathered more lube. When he pushed that one in, Eddie moaned loader, the pressure on his rim and the full feeling making his cock dribble pre-come.

“You doing okay?” Richie asked lowly as he shoved his fingers in and out of Eddie’s clenching hole.

“Yeah I—yes daddy,” Eddie panted, hearing Richie curse lowly. The fingers starting pumping in and out faster now, and the hand on his thigh pushed down a little so his legs were spread even wider.

“Good boy,” Richie breathed out. “Look so good for me, legs spread out like an easy whore and your little hole swallowing my fingers so greedily.”

Eddie moaned again, the loud sound ripping through the room as the soft beats of the music became a background noise for all the moaning and heavy breathing. His hands flailed uselessly as Richie pushed a third finger, making him gasp and arch his back.

Richie fingered him for a few more minutes, muttering lowly about how sinful Eddie looked, and Eddie moaned and writhed, not able to do much else. His face flushed with all of the attention, but he couldn’t really be embarrassed at his current state because pleasure was taking over his brain.

Suddenly, Richie’s pointer finger poked further, and Eddie jerked. His breath caught in his throat and his stomach began tingling. He let out a choked scream.

“Daddy!” he gasped, desperately pushing back on Richie’s fingers and trying to get him to poke that spot again. Richie chuckled, placing a hand on his hip to stop his moving.

“Found it,” Richie smirked. He began moving his fingers again, rubbing mercilessly at the spot. Eddie practically screamed, tears running down his face at the overwhelming pleasure. He couldn’t really move, not with Richie’s hand holding him down. His cock began to throb painfully.

Richie was relentless, poking at that one spot repeatedly and watching Eddie struggle to breathe properly as he moaned and sobbed in pleasure.

Eddie panted as he shoved his hips down, trying to get as much of Richie’s fingers as possible. He felt the heat pool in his stomach, hardening quickly as his cock spurted out more pre-come. It was all too much, but not enough.

“Daddy—“ Eddie moaned when Richie bent his finger a little. “I can’t—I need your—“ Richie crooked his finger again, making Eddie’s head fall back onto the bed with a choked scream.

“What?” Richie asked, not in a questioning way, but more in a ‘go on, say it’ way. “What do you need, baby?”

Eddie shivers when he thinks of what’s about to happen, despite the sweat running down his forehead. He can’t even look at Richie when he says it.

“I need your cock, Daddy.” Eddie’s breath comes out shaky, and he realizes that he is literally _shaking_ right now all because of Richie’s stupidly long fingers.

He doesn’t have to open his eyes to know that Richie’s smirking like the smug asshole he is because he hears it in his voice.

“Yeah I know you do, baby. Just so hungry for Daddy’s cock, huh?” Richie taunts, widening his eyes when Eddie subconsciously nods a little, eyes shut and softly moaning. Richie gets encouraged to keep talking, taking out his fingers before pushing them back in.

“So hungry that you don’t even care about how much it’ll hurt. ‘Cause you know that it will, right? But don’t worry, Daddy’s gonna fill you up so good, make you scream like a desperate bitch in heat. Daddy’ll make you all pliant on his cock, and you’ll let him fuck you like a good slut, won’t you? ‘Cause that’s the only reason you’re here. To be a good little fuckhole for Daddy to cum in whenever he wants.”

Eddie cries out at Richie’s words, unbelievably turned on as he rolls his hips down further. “Daddy! Please! Please fuck me, I need it! I need your cock inside me, please I—“

Richie curses, finally _finally_ taking out his fingers completely, and taking off his boxers, picking up the lube packet after putting on a condom. Eddie’s still panting, his hole clenching around nothing and missing the feel of being full. But after a minute goes by, Eddie feels Richie’s weight on him, and his legs are being lifted around Richie’s waist.

Eddie can tell what’s happening, and anticipation builds in his chest, making him breathe heavier, half in excitement and half in nervousness. Richie must’ve noticed because he lowered his head to kiss him, slow and in a comforting way.

“You want to keep going?” Richie asks in a softer tone than before, pressing a wet kiss to Eddie’s jawline. Eddie gulps, nodding quickly. He knows this is what he wants.

“Yeah I—yeah. Please,” Eddie pants and brings up his arms to wrap around Richie’s neck, pulling him up for another kiss. Richie smiles into the kiss, and then suddenly Eddie’s hands are being pushed back and pinned by either sides of his head. Eddie flutters his eyes shut at the helpless feeling, the arousal in his stomach burning in a wonderful way.

Richie moves his hips a little, and Eddie feel a blunt pressure on his stretched out rim. He gasps, immediately trying to move his own hips down. But Richie’s weight on him has him trapped, unable to move. He moans again, but Richie doesn’t move. Eddie grows frustrated and opens his eyes, finding Richie’s blown out pupils in front of him.

“Just fucking go in, you stupid idiot,” Eddie pants, wriggling underneath him. Richie laughs, shifting a little. The head of his cock slowly pushes in, and Eddie’s breath hitches. But Richie pulls his hips back, and tuts at Eddie while shaking his head.

“Little slut’s still got cheek, huh,” Richie says disappointedly. “Guess I’m gonna have to fuck it out of you then.”

And with that, Richie pushes in completely in one smooth movement, groaning lowly at the tight heat. Eddie screams, his limbs going slack and his hole clenching wildly at the sudden intrusion.

It feels like his hole is slowly being ripped apart, and it hurts. Like, _really_ fucking hurts. His mind is pulsing with the pain, his head lulling to the side a little as his hole clenches down hard. He faintly hears Richie curse sharply, but his mind is too overwhelmed with the feeling to zone back in.

“It’s okay, baby, it’s okay, just relax for me,” Richie coos, not moving at all and letting Eddie get used to it. Eddie’s cheeks are wet with tears, new ones running down like a fountain. His vision is too blurry, he can’t really see anything, and the blinding pain is still there.

“Daddy,” Eddie whimpers, unable to say anything else. He squeezes his eyes shut, crying wetly as he gasps for breath.

Richie looks down at him, a sympathetic expression on his face, as well as concerned. “I know, baby, I know,” he says, kissing him once. “You’ve just gotta relax for me, okay? The only way it’s going to stop hurting is if you relax.”

Eddie cries harder when the pain wasn’t going away, but he hears Richie’s words a second later. Gulping, he stops clenching his hole, trying to relax his muscles. Richie felt bigger than he looked, which was a scary thought. Eddie felt overwhelmingly full, like even if Richie didn’t have his weight on him he still wouldn’t be able to move, weighed down by Richie’s heavy cock. Somewhere in the back of his mind, there’s was a flicker of arousal, but for now, it was completely overshadowed by the pain.      

“Come on, take a deep breath for me,” Richie ordered, watching Eddie’s face carefully. He wiped away his running tears as Eddie drew in a shaky breath. Richie told him to do it again, and he did, too exhausted to form his own thoughts and instead only able to obey Richie’s orders.

A few moments later, the blinding pain began to numb down, and Eddie’s stretched hole stopped burning as much. Eddie wasn’t crying loudly anymore, but only let a few silent tears fall down his cheeks as his breathing turned normal again.

“Does it still hurt a lot?” Richie asked, kissing the corner of his mouth.

Eddie opened his eyes, shaking his head. “N-no. Not…not really.”

Richie nodded, kissing down to Eddie’s neck. Eddie moaned at the feeling, the pool of heat starting to spread in his stomach again. Eddie carefully shifted his legs so he could wrap them tighter around Richie’s hips, and winced a little as he did so. But the feeling of Richie’s cock inside him started to cloud Eddie’s brain, the pain fading into the background.

“I’m gonna move a little, alright?” Richie asked, sounding a bit strained. Eddie realized that it must’ve been at least ten minutes of them just staying still, so he felt bad for Richie, knowing how hard it must’ve been to stay still at his current position.

“Okay,” Eddie said, feeling Richie’s hands pin his own hands down against the bed harder, like he was bracing himself. Richie pulled back just a little, sliding his cock out slowly. Eddie whimpered at that, and Richie kissed him again, staying on his lips. Eddie’s noises were muffled into the kiss as Richie pushed his cock back in, his hips meeting Eddie’s ass softly. Eddie couldn’t keep up with the kiss and just let his mouth go slack, letting Richie lick into his mouth as he moved slowly.

Richie pulled out and shoved back in harder this time, making Eddie squeak into the kiss. It hurt more, but the pleasure was beginning to take over his senses now. His toes began to tingle at the drag of Richie’s cock going in and out of him, and when Richie pulled away from the kiss, he gasped and moaned as he lulled his head to the side, feeling Richie bite and kiss his neck.

“Daddy!” Eddie moaned when he felt Richie just graze over that spot in him. Richie smirked into his neck and thrust back in again, this time directly into that spot. Eddie arched his back a little, tightening his legs around his waist.

“Does it feel good?” Richie asked. Eddie cried out in pleasure as Richie hit the spot again.

"Obviously it feels g-good, you fucking cu—“ Eddie screamed when Richie pulled out all the way and slammed back in, the skin on his ass burning a little at the sudden slap of skin. It felt so, _so_ good, Richie’s thick cock, reaching way too far into him, and how he couldn’t move at all, even if he tried. Not that he’d want to anyway.

“You know,” Richie suddenly rested his palm on Eddie’s throat, adding just a tad bit of pressure. “You’re really making it hard for me to treat you nicely.”

Eddie gasped unevenly, his free hand fisting at the sheets as he looked up into Richie’s dark eyes. He smirked a little.

“Then don’t,” he said. “I mean, you said you’d the fuck the cheek out of your little slut, didn’t you?”

Something in Richie’s eyes glistened, and tilted his head a little, staring down at him. Eddie didn’t break eye contact.

“So do it.”

Richie grinned down at him, and without another word, lifted Eddie’s legs further up and started to pound into him. He didn’t stop this time, only kept slamming in and out of Eddie repeatedly, not letting a moment go by where he wasn’t moving.

Eddie shut his eyes and let little noises escape his lips as he let Richie fucked him like he couldn’t care less if he would be able to walk after. His thigh muscles were beginning to hurt, but Richie pounded into his prostrate, making him forget about the uncomfortable strain in his legs.

Richie grunted above him, and pressed his hand down on Eddie’s throat, not stopping his brutal pace. Eddie choked on his breath, his eyes rolling back into his head as fuzzy pleasure took over him. His cock was spreading wetness all over his stomach, feeling ignored. But Eddie couldn’t do anything about it—like Richie said, it wasn’t his property. That made the coil in his stomach start to tighten, and Richie released his grip on his neck to let him breathe again. The sound of skin slapping against skin filled the room, the muffled music from upstairs fading into the background.

“Uh, Daddy!” Eddie’s voice shook as Richie slammed into his ass again. “Feels, _uh, uh,_ so g-good,” he moaned brokenly.

Richie only grunted in response, pinning Eddie’s hands above him again. He shoved in deeper, basking in the way Eddie squeaked occasionally and cried out in pleasure.

“God, you sound like such a fucking whore,” Richie groaned as he grabbed Eddie’s face, kissing him sloppily. Eddie whimpered and moaned at his tight grip, and felt his cock throb, begging for attention. He tried pulling away from the kiss to tell Richie, but Richie’s grip on his face was too strong. So instead he let himself be fucked roughly as Richie forced his mouth open with his tongue, holding his wrists down in one hand painfully.

When Richie pulled away, Eddie gasped for breath, and looked up at him. He knew he was getting close, the familiar wave of heat rushing down his body.

“Daddy,” he moaned, trying to get Richie’s attention. But Richie ignored him, just continued to fuck into his little body, grunting lowly in pleasure.

Eddie pushed against his hands, not really to get out of the grip but only to get Richie to look at him.

“P-please, Daddy. I-I wanna cum—please let – _uh_ —l-let me cum, I’m so close, I— _uh, uh,”_ Eddie couldn’t even finish when Richie’s thrusts became quicker, making his brain get fuzzy with pleasure again. He cried loudly, too overwhelmed and pleasured.

“You can cum, but not with any help,” Richie says.

Eddie opens his eyes. “What?” he squeaks.

Richie smirks down at him as his hips slam into his ass again. “You’re already acting like a whore, so can’t you cum like one?”

Eddie’s tears blur his vision, but he heard Richie loud and clear. His cock dribbles again, and he moans obscenely at Richie’s words.

“No, I—“

“Eddie,” Richie growls. “That wasn’t a question; it was an order.”

Eddie gulps, whimpering and crying as Richie pounds into him mercilessly, like he honestly didn’t care about Eddie’s pleasure and only cared about his own.

“’Cause a little slut like you doesn’t deserve any help,” Richie says as he keeps his pace, his breath impressively even and controlled. “All spread out on my cock, loving how it fills you up. This is the only thing you’re good for, being a cockwarmer for me. A tight hole for me to use and spill into whenever I feel like it. And all you can do is take it. ‘Cause you know you can’t stop me, I’m bigger and stronger than you, aren’t I? Yeah, all you can do is fucking cry like a cheap little whore while I _ruin_ you for anyone else.”

Eddie screams as he comes, his cock spraying his cum across his stomach. His hole clenches down repeatedly at the blissful euphoria, and he only slightly hears Richie groan. His ears only hear a low buzz, his head flashing white and his cock pulsing minutely. His limbs go lax as his legs began to fall down from Richie’s waist.

In his euphoric haze, he feels Richie adjust his legs quickly before slamming back in quickly, fucking him even faster than before as Eddie’s jostled up and down the bed by his movements. Eddie’s still crying, mostly from his orgasm but also the overstimulation, as Richie chases his own pleasure.

When Richie finally does cum, Eddie shuts his eyes and feels his breathing calm down. Eddie whimpers as he pulls out, tossing the condom away. His own cum is starting to harden on his stomach, but a second later, he feels a wet towel on him. As Richie cleans him up everywhere, Eddie sighs contentedly, yawning once.

He hears Richie’s voice, but can’t register what he said. He’s still in his blissful haze, but he can’t open his eyes anymore. His eyelids feel too heavy, like lead is weighing down on them. The last thing he feels is Richie’s lips on his own before he drifts off into sleep.

 

_Sunday October 11 th, 2018 – 10: 52 A.M -- Dormitory 2A, Fifth Floor, Room 2069_

Eddie nuzzled his face into his pillow, putting a hand on Richie’s chest. But his hand only fell on the empty bed instead. Eddie slowly opened his eyes, blinking at the bright light from outside. He moved his hand around more, but couldn’t feel Richie like he could all night.

Eddie rubbed his eyes and opened his eyes fully, looking around the room. Richie was no where in sight, and he couldn’t even hear any noise in the room so he can’t have been in the kitchen either. Eddie looked to the side of his room, surprised to see Richie’s backpack and clothes gone as well. Where was he?

Eddie yawned and reached over for his phone, wondering if Richie had gone out to get him breakfast. But Richie didn’t send him any texts, or notes.

Eddie started to frown. Why would Richie just leave without saying anything? Was there an emergency or something? He began to grow worried, wondering if something had happened. But before Eddie could get up, the door opened.

Richie came in, holding a tray of Starbucks coffees in one hand and his phone in the other. Eddie let out a relieved sigh, throwing his own phone on the bed in front of him.

“There you are. I thought something had happened!” Eddie started to sit up, watching Richie place the tray on the table next to him. Richie shook his head, a soft smile on his face.

“Sorry, I had to go…talk to someone,” he said.

Eddie suddenly winced as he sat up, leaning sideways a little. For some reason, there was this horrible ache in his…oh. Oh yeah.

“Are you okay?” Richie asked worriedly, sitting down next to him and placing his phone next to Eddie’s.

 Eddie nodded quickly, a small blush on his cheeks as he remembered what happened last night.

“Yeah, yeah. I’m fine, I just…yeah.” Eddie gulped and looked down, kind of too embarrassed to look at Richie.

They were both silent, Richie just cleared his throat but didn’t say anything, and Eddie was internally dying at the awkwardness. He waited for Richie to say something, but when he didn’t, Eddie decided he’d have to break the silence.

“Um,” he started, clearing his throat and looking at Richie. He was surprised to see that Richie was blushing a little too. “You said you went to talk with someone? Who?”

Richie nodded, and paused. He shifted a little closer to Eddie. “Yeah—Henry.”

Eddie blinked, confused. “Henry? Why now?”

Richie sighed, looking down for a moment. He looked at him again, peering into his eyes like he was getting lost in them. He pushed Eddie’s curls back, stroking his cheek as he let go.

“I just realized something, and I had to tell him before…before someone got hurt,” he said. Eddie’s eyes widened, and he opened his mouth. But Richie cut him off.

“No no, it’s not like—it’s not that serious, it’s just. Look, don’t worry about it, okay? I just woke up this morning and realized how stupid he was— _I_ was—being, and I just had to tell him that it’s off.”

Eddie frowned. “What’s off?”

Richie shook his head. “It’s nothing, really. It’s over, anyway. Don’t worry about it, okay?”

Richie smiled, leaning in to kiss him. Eddie widened his eyes and immediately pulled away. Richie opened his eyes with a confused look.

“I have morning breath!” Eddie exclaimed, just remembering. He covered his mouth and scrambled to get out of the bed carefully, being sure to avoid sitting down completely. Richie laughed, watching Eddie make a mess of the comforters.

“Oh my god, you’re so fucking dramatic. You really think I care about that shit?” Richie grinned, amused. He grabbed his phone from the comforters before Eddie ruined them more as he got out clumsily.

“Doesn’t matter if you care— _I_ do! Just let me brush and shower, and then we can go out for breakfast.” Eddie opened the bathroom door, grabbing his toothbrush and the paste.

“Hey,” he heard Richie call out to him. “Do you want to just eat breakfast here? I heard it's going to thunderstorm soon, so I can bring something from the bakery.”

Eddie hummed, thinking about it. “Yeah okay, sure!” He started brushing, and he heard Richie open the door after a moment.

“I’ll be back soon, babe!” Richie called out before leaving. Eddie couldn’t stop the smile spreading on his face as he slowed his brushing. _Babe._ It wasn’t the first time Richie had called him that, but hearing it now, hearing it after they both…finalized their relationship, it made Eddie’s heart swell.

He stared at himself in the mirror, wondering if this is what love felt like. If love felt like your heart was about to burst any second. If love felt like you could just take over the entire world. Eddie wondered if love felt like feeling completely _whole,_ because he only had that feeling after meeting Richie.

Eddie smiled happily as he finished brushing, thinking about all of the things him and Richie would do now. All of they placed they needed to go, all of the stupid, cliché things that people in relationships did. He washed out his mouth, shutting off the faucet as excitement began to build up in his chest.

He was about to turn on the shower, but then he heard buzzing. Again and again. Eddie frowned as he walked over to his bed _,_ having to move the messy comforters to find his phone, which buzzed again.

When he placed his thumb on the home button, his phone didn’t open. Before Eddie could try again, he realized that this was not his phone—it was Richie’s. Eddie sighed, realizing that when he got out of the bed, he must’ve moved the phones around, making Richie think Eddie’s phone was his.

Eddie yawned again and placed Richie’s phone on the table, but just as he did so, it buzzed again. Eddie looked at the screen, seeing a series of iMessage texts.

Eddie knew he shouldn’t look, and he really wasn’t going to, but when he realized the texts were from Henry, he stared.

Henry must’ve sent Richie ten texts, and he wasn’t stopping. The phone was buzzing again and again, and Eddie began to frown. Did this have to do with what Richie talked to him about this morning?

Eddie looked back at the bathroom, wondering if he should just go in the shower and wait for Richie. But he looked back, too curious as to what Henry and Richie might’ve been talking about. Eddie picked up the phone.

He had to scroll down a little to see all of the texts in order, and since Richie’s phone was locked, he could only read half of the messages.

Eddie frowned as he tried to decipher the cut off messages.

**_never thought u were a puss…._ **

**_u do realize he’s gonna find …._ **

**_but don’t worry, maybe ill te…._ **

**_let him know that u were on…._ **

**_and the bet was all ur idea s…._ **

**_the sick boy from Derry who…._ **

Eddie’s heart stopped a little when he read that text. Sick boy from Derry? He blinked, gulping. Was Henry talking about…him? He remembered Beverly saying that Henry was from Derry too, and he knew for a fact that people only knew him as the ‘sick kid’. Did Henry remember him? But why was he talking about him? Eddie scrolled up to keep reading.

**_He’ll never forgive u, u kno…._ **

**_Even if you love him now, i…._ **

**_That he was just a bet to u…._ **

Eddie’s breath hitched. His legs felt a little weak, and he sat down on the bed, holding the phone in a shaky hand. _That he was just a bet?_   What? Eddie shook his head, trying to clear his thoughts.

He knew for sure that Henry was talking about him—no one else earned that reputation in Derry. But why was Henry talking about him to Richie? And why was he saying that Eddie was just a…

Eddie felt his lungs tighten, and his breathing was getting heavier. His mind flashed to Richie, to Richie that day they ran into Henry outside. What—what did Henry say to him? _I don’t know why I ever doubted you…you’ll call me before or after it’s done?_

Eddie’s vision grew blurry with tears. He didn’t completely know why he was crying. And he didn’t completely understand what Henry’s texts meant. But when Richie’s phone buzzed again, Eddie completely understood everything.

**_u ignoring me Tozier? U afrai…._ **

**_i guess fucking him was easie…._ **

**_shoulda made a harder bet._ **

Eddie's teardrops fell on the phone screen, and the door to the room opened, making Eddie jump.

“Hey Eds, I accidentally took your phone—“ Richie began as he walked in, but he froze when he saw Eddie at the edge of the bed, with wide and watery eyes.

A loud thunder boomed outside, and the room filled with the sound of the heavy pitter-patter of rain falling.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cue the dramatic music with the cliche ending lol. But I hope you all enjoyed, and sorry to leave you on a cliffhanger, but hopefully it'll be worth it for the next chapter! Thank you all so much for the support and I also wanted to say that I love all of your rants and theories in the comment section, as well as the kind compliments! It really makes me happy knowing people are genuinely interested! So thank you all so much!


	7. Step 7: Have The Whole Thing Blow Up In Your Face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope u enjoy!

_Sunday October 11 th, 2018 – 11: 41 A.M -- Dormitory 2A, Fifth Floor, Room 2069_

Richie took a deep breath, eyes going to his phone in Eddie’s hand. He took a step foreword and shut the door, looking back at Eddie’s tear-stricken face. Eddie stared at him as he came closer, blinking away the stinging tears in his eyes.

“Baby—“ Richie started, but Eddie cut him off.

“It’s not true, right?” Eddie asked in a wavering voice, wiping at his eyes with the back of his hands. He sniffled and stood up shakily, standing in front of Richie and looking up at him.

Richie blinked, looking at his phone screen when Eddie handed it to him. He stared for a while, and then closed his eyes, clenching his jaw. Eddie’s heart hammered.

“But it’s not true, right?” Eddie asked again, louder this time. “I’m not…I wasn’t a bet, right Richie?”

Richie finally met his eyes, his mouth opening and then closing. Eddie felt his chest start to ache. Painfully. A horrible feeling was settling in his stomach. Why wasn’t Richie answering?

“Eddie, I…wait, come on. Let’s just sit down, and talk, alright?” Richie reached out for Eddie’s hand, but Eddie shook his head, moving away from him a little.

“No I don’t want to sit down,” Eddie said, tears running down his face again. “Why can’t you just answer me?”

Another thunder broke out, making Eddie jump a little and look out the window for a second. But Richie started to move toward him, hands out in a ‘calm down’ manner, and Eddie moved again.

“Eddie,” Richie said in a quiet voice when Eddie moved away from him again. “I love you, okay? I love you so—“

“Then he’s lying, right?” Eddie interrupted, his voice coming out shaky. He just wanted Richie to admit that Henry was lying. Just those words would end this entire thing, end the horrible ache in his chest and stomach. “’Cause you wouldn’t do that to me. You wouldn’t treat me like some…some _conquest._ No, you…you’re not like that.”

Eddie shook his head, feeling a little dizzy. He shut his eyes and shook his head again, repeating his words again. Richie took another step towards him.

“He—he’s lying. There’s no way you would do that to me,” Eddie said, convinced. He waited for Richie to nod, or to agree with him, but Richie didn’t say or do anything. He just looked at him with a pained and guilty face. Eddie felt tears sting in his eyes.

“Richie,” he whispered, scared. “H-he is lying, right? Tell me it’s not true, that I wasn’t a…a bet or something he was in on.”

Eddie waited, every second passing painfully. His vision blurred even more when Richie stayed silent.

“Richie! Tell me he’s lying! Please just—just tell it’s not true,” Eddie begged, his voice breaking. “ _Please.”_

It was quiet again, and Eddie felt like he was going to faint. But then, Richie opened his mouth, slowly. Eddie looked up eagerly at him, waiting for an explanation to this misunderstanding. But Richie’s eyes were shining and pained. “Eds, I _can’t_.”

Eddie’s breath stopped. He stared at him, feeling hot tears run down his cheeks. He watched Richie shake his head quickly after.

“No, Eddie—I _love_ you, okay? I was going to tell you—look, just let me explain everything, okay?” Richie begged, taking Eddie’s hands in his. But Eddie felt numb, as he stared down at their hands, trying to comprehend what was happening. He didn’t move or say anything, too paralyzed with the excruciating pain in his chest. _He lied. He lied to me, all this time._ Richie guided him to the bed, sitting him down gently.

“Okay,” Richie started. “I’m going to get some water for you, and when I come back, I’ll explain everything. Just…just please don’t think I’m lying when I say that I truly love you, Eds.”

Eddie didn’t look up, he just remained silent and blank-faced. His head and his chest and his entire body hurt too much to really process what Richie was saying. Richie gave him a worried look before rushing to the kitchen.

Eddie faintly heard the faucet turn on, and then he heard the rain outside. It was raining harder now, and another thunder struck. Eddie jumped at the noise, and he looked towards the kitchen, Richie’s back facing him. He blinked, wiping his eyes. He suddenly realized what just happened. What Richie just said. Richie just said that he was a _bet._ That he was a _conquest._ All this time…their relationship was a game.

Eddie began to panic, and when he saw Richie turn around, he jumped up and ran for the door. Richie cursed and set down the glass of water, running after him. But Eddie was already in the hallway, running like his life depended on it.

“Eddie! Stop!” Richie yelled, running after him. But Eddie couldn’t. He couldn’t stop his legs. He just needed to get away. Get away from everything. He ran down the stairs, hearing Richie’s footsteps follow his closely.

“Eddie, just stop running! Where are you gonna go? The storm is too heavy outside!”

Richie called out to him, but Eddie ignored him. He kept running, even in the lobby.

The lady at the desk stood up when she saw Eddie running for the doors, and opened her mouth to say something, but Eddie didn’t hear her as he opened the main doors, feeling the piercing rain hit his face as he left the building.

But Richie was still behind him, feet hitting the ground and making water splash everywhere. “Eddie! Stop fucking running and just talk to me!”

Eddie turned at a corner, trying to throw Richie off and lose him, but Richie didn’t give up. The rain was cold, ice cold as the darkening clouds made it hard to see where he was going. Eddie spotted a crook near a building, and he ran for the small space, turning quickly.

He stopped when he did, hiding in that area as his chest heaved, trying to breathe fully again. He heard the footsteps behind him slow down.

“Eddie? Eddie!” Richie yelled out, scrambling around the area of his hiding spot and trying to find him. “Where the fuck are you?”

Eddie crouched into a sitting position, crying as he hid his face into his hands, the rain pouring down on his head harshly as his ears began to hurt from the cold. He sobbed as quietly as he could, but the rain was enough noise to mask him even if he was loud.

“Fuck!” Richie yelled, making Eddie flinch. “Eddie _please!_ Just come out and talk to me! I know you’re still here somewhere and I’m not leaving until we talk!”

Eddie hiccupped for breath as he tried to shield his head from the pouring rain. He was shivering, shaking so much that he couldn’t help whimpering noises coming out of his mouth. Eddie slowly stood up, making sure Richie wouldn’t see him through the crack. He could barely make out Richie’s angry face, his clenched fists and his searching eyes, but Eddie forced himself to turn away, starting to run in the other direction.

He faintly heard Richie’s voice a few more times, cursing and calling out his name again and again. But he ran until he couldn’t anymore, until he was alone with the sound of thunderous rain and the sound of his heart breaking.

  

_Sunday October 11 th, 2018 – 1: 03 P.M -- Dormitory 2C, Second Floor, Room 1052_

 

“Do you want marshmallows in your hot chocolate?” Bill called out from the kitchen. He peeked his head out to look at Eddie, who sat on his bed, under the covers with another blanket around his shoulders, shivering every now and then as he rested his chin on his knee, staring into nothing.

“Eddie?”

Eddie looked up this time, blinking and then giving a small shrug as an answer. Bill paused, staring at him before turning back to his mug and dropping two fat marshmallows inside. He carried the mug to Eddie, sitting down gently on the bed next to him.

Eddie took the hot cup in his cold hands, feeling immediate relief from the warmth it provided. Bill watched him worriedly and rubbed his back comfortingly.

Eddie took a sip, the warm liquid running down his throat and flooding his jittering stomach.

“Do you like it?” Bill gave a warm smile, tucking a curl behind Eddie’s ear. Eddie nodded, smiling back at him.

“Yeah. You always make the best hot chocolates,” Eddie said quietly, looking down at his mug and poking the fat marshmallow with one finger.

“Eddie,” Bill sighed after a moment, and Eddie knew he was going to ask. “What happened?” There it is.

Eddie stared down at the melting marshmallows, swallowing. His mind flashed back to this morning, the texts from Henry, Richie…Richie. His mind flashed back to Richie, and all of the times they spent together. All of the lies. All the deceit.

The memories caused a searing pain in his chest, to the point where his eyes began to water again. Had it all been fake? Richie admitted that he was a bet, but what did that even mean? Then Eddie remembered the second to last text Henry sent. _I guess fucking him was easier…_ Eddie shut his eyes, making the unshed tear fall down his cheek. Was that it? It had to be. Because then Henry said—

“Eddie,” Bill said louder, cutting off Eddie’s thoughts. “Talk to me. What happened this morning? Why were you crying?”

Eddie sniffled, wiping his eyes quickly, tired of crying. He had ran to Bill’s room after leaving Richie, and only sobbed into his arms when Bill opened the door, refusing to talk. Bill let him weep, hugging him tight and discarding his wet clothes and dressing him in his own clothes. But Eddie knew he owed his friend an explanation. He could see the worry on Bill’s face.

Eddie took another sip before holding the mug, and turned closer to Bill. But then he paused, realizing what would happen if he told Bill the truth. Bill was the type of person to rationalize things, and want to talk conflicts out. If Eddie told him what happened, he’d demand to talk with Richie, and have them all sit together in some stupid circle as they talked about their feelings.

But Eddie didn’t want that. He didn’t want to talk with Richie. He didn’t even want to _see_ Richie. It would be too much. Too much pain and hurt, and too soon. Eddie was starting to panic at the thought of having to see Richie again, so he shut his eyes and took a deep breath, trying to calm himself down.

“Bill,” he said in a small voice, after a moment. Bill immedietly nodded, taking his hand in his and squeezing gently, silently encouraging him to continue.

Eddie looked at him, blinking away the tears in his eyes. “I called my mom, and we got in a fight again. She said some…really hurtful things and I just broke down. I-I know it doesn’t seem like such a big deal but I—“

“No!” Bill said a little loudly, making Eddie’s eyes widen in surprise. Bill shook his head and took the mug out of his hands, placing it on the table. He scooted closer and hugged him tightly, wrapping his arms around his waist.

“It is a big deal, okay? I’m so, so _sorry_ , Eddie. I know what she can say and I know how you still care about what she thinks, so I get it, alright? Don’t ever think that it’s not that serious and you’re just overreacting because you’re not, okay? You have every right to be hurt.”

Eddie’s tears stung more as he listened, wrapping his arms tighter around his best friend.

“I know it must hurt. Someone you love hurting you like that. It’s cruel, but you know what Eddie?”

Eddie sniffled again, his tears forming a wet patch on Bill’s shirt. He pulled away, wiping his eyes with the back of his hand once again, and looked at him.

“Everything is going to be _okay_. I promise you that,” Bill reassured, speaking in a genuine and soft voice. He pulled the blanket around his shoulders up higher, making sure Eddie was warm.

“It’s not going to be today, and it’s not going to be tomorrow. But someday, you’re not even going to remember all the cruel shit your mom has said, okay? It won’t even matter to you because you’ll be happy, successful, and start your own family, and you won’t even remember all the low points in your life because you’ll be too high up to care.”

Eddie smiled at him, feeling his jittering slow down in his stomach from Bill’s words. He hugged him again, feeling so unbelievably thankful that he had Bill Denbrough as a best friend.

“You think so?” Eddie asked, pulling away again. Bill immediately nodded.

“Of course! Eddie, I’ve always known that out of everybody I know, you would be the most successful—and the most happy. It’s kind of like—it’s like what John Green said; ‘people who have gone through the most pain end up being the happiest in life’.”

Eddie gave a weak laugh, rolling his eyes. “He never even said that, you dumbass.”

Bill made an offended noise, but couldn’t help but laugh with him. “Alright fine, so I made it up. But it’s true, don’t you think?”

Eddie smiled a little, and then nodded. He didn’t know why that saying felt true—maybe he was just trying to make himself feel better. But that idea, the idea of someone having to go through hurt first to be happy, made a lot of sense to him. Eddie let out a tired sigh, feeling too worn out from everything that happened today.

“Hey um, do you mind if I sleep here?” Eddie asked, and Bill shook his head quickly.

“No! Sleep, you need to. You ran all the way here in the pouring rain—you need to rest and hopefully not get sick.”

Eddie nodded, snuggling into the bed as Bill closed the blinds and put an extra blanket over him. Eddie was just about to close his eyes when Bill spoke again.

“So what did Richie say?”

Eddie’s heart skipped a beat. He blinked at Bill, eyes widening. “What?” he whispered.

Bill finished tucking the bed in and turned to look at him. He looked confused too.

“You told Richie what happened, right? So what did he have to say about it?”

Eddie gulped, feeling his chest start to ache again. He knew it wasn’t even guilt about lying to Bill, but it was only from the sound of Richie’s name.

“Oh—“ Eddie paused. “No, he uh, he had some family emergency yesterday. I didn’t tell him yet.”

Bill nodded. “Oh? Hope everything is okay with him,” Bill said thoughtfully. He sighed and turned back to Eddie one final time.

“Eddie,” he said. “Everything is going to be just fine. You hear me? Whatever hurt you’re feeling now, it will go away. Just give it some time. But rest now, okay?”

Eddie’s heart ached with the words, and he nodded, watching Bill turn around and head to the kitchen area. He shut his eyes, hearing Bill’s words again. _Everything is going to fine. The hurt will go away_.

But Richie wouldn’t. Eddie’s eyes snapped back open when he realized that he was in one way or another going to see Richie again. Either before or in class on Thursday. Eddie suddenly sat up, tucking his knees to his chest again and leaning against the headboard. His breathing was getting heavier.

He was going to have to see Richie again. See his face. That stupid, beautiful face. Eddie’s heart ached suddenly, and he knew it was because he missed him. Eddie scoffed at himself. Even now, he missed Richie. Even after finding out it was all a lie. That their relationship was a game. A game for him and Henry. That…fucking him was just an achievement. Eddie inhaled sharply.

It all made sense now. Why else would Richie have been so into him? So intent on seeing him? Why else would Richie have bought him all those things and spoiled him? No one had been into him for 19 years, so why the fuck did he think Richie was?

Eddie buried his face in his hands, surprised that he wasn’t crying already. Did he run out of tears? It certainly felt like it. He felt dried up—exhausted. His eyelids felt heavy again, and Eddie fell back to the bed.

He’d only ever felt this broken and numb once before in his life. And Ben was the one who helped him through that. Eddie let that last thought run through his head before shutting down into a deep sleep.

 

 

_Sunday October 11 th, 2018 – 4: 27 P.M -- Dormitory 2C, Second Floor, Room 1052_

“Bill, can I use your phone? I need to call someone,” Eddie called out in a hoarse voice. He yawned as he woke up from his nap five minutes ago. He soon heard Bill’s footsteps to his room.

“Sure. But are you feeling better?” Bill asked worriedly, taking out his phone.

Eddie paused, then nodded. His chest felt heavy, his eyes felt dry and hard, his insides felt like it was all twisted up, he had a headache, and his heart felt like it was split in half. But he was feeling better than before.

“Alright, I’m gonna go shower, but you knock if you need me—seriously, I don’t mind if I have to come out butt naked and dripping wet.”

Eddie grimaced with a small smile. “No, but I think _I’d_ mind.”

Bill just shrugged, and ruffled his hair affectionately before heading to the shower. Eddie waited for the door to close before he opened the dial pad.

He scooted up to lean against the headboard, his body already feeling a little achy. He really hoped he wasn’t going to come down with anything.

Eddie sighed and dialed Ben’s number, putting the phone to his ear and waiting. Eddie needed to tell someone what really happened, and to have someone tell him what was the right thing to do or to say. He needed someone who could make some of his pain go away, someone who could give him advice. Someone who couldn’t make the situation worse. And that someone was Ben. Like it always was before.

“Hey, Bill. What’s up, man?”

Eddie sighed when he heard Ben’s soft voice, already feeling comfort in that familiar voice.

“Hi uh—it’s Eddie, not Bill, by the way. How are you, Ben?” Eddie tucked his knees to his chest and listened eagerly.

He heard Ben make a surprised noise. “Eddie? What’re you doing calling from Bill’s phone?” he laughed. “But I’m doing good! It’s so good to hear your voice, I miss you man!”

Eddie smiled sadly. “I miss you so much too. Like, more than I thought I would.”

“Um, rude.” Ben snickered.

“You know what I mean,” Eddie grinned. “Seriously though, all I want is for you to be here, so I can just hug the fuck out of you.”

Ben laughed, the warm sound making Eddie smile wide.

“Well, you do give good hugs, so I wouldn’t particularly mind,” Ben said.

Eddie gave a small laugh, his chest still hurting. Ben was quiet on the other end for a while.

“Hey Eddie?”

“Yeah?”

“Are you doing okay?”

Eddie blinked, feeling the familiar sting in his eyes. Huh. Guess not all of them dried up. He stayed quiet for a long time before answering.

“No.”

With that, he broke down. He sobbed into his arm—heart wrenching, long and wet sobs that didn’t seem like they’d stop. Eddie cried and cried and cried, and Ben let him. His body was shaking again, and his head was pounding from all the crying and twisting inside of him. He felt like he was on fire again, and all he could do was just cry because of the burning pain.

It must’ve been at least half an hour that passed of Eddie crying and Ben just letting him do so, letting him get it all out. But now, the tears weren’t coming out anymore, and Eddie assumed they were no more—for now, at least. He sniffled and wiped at his eyes.

Ben waited patiently for Eddie to start talking again, and when Eddie did, he stayed silent, letting the sniffling boy continue without interruption or judgment.

Eddie told him everything. How he and Richie had the same class together. How they first started talking. How they went out a couple of times. How they got closer up to the point of being boyfriends and becoming intimate. And how he read Richie’s best friend’s texts, about him being some kind of game between the two friends.

It took a long time, and Bill even came out of the shower in the middle of it, but thankfully just went to the other room after he did. Eddie was grateful because he did not want Bill hearing any of the truth, knowing it would only cause more chaos.

After he was done, he took a deep breath and closed his mouth, worried and nervous as he waited for Ben to say something.

Finally, Ben cleared his throat.

“Eddie,” he said. “I need you to go into the kitchen and eat something, now.”

Eddie frowned. “No, I’m not hungry. Look, I just need you to tell me what to do—“

“I am telling you what to do. Go get something out of the fridge and eat because you haven’t eaten breakfast, and you haven’t eaten lunch. If you want me to help you, then you need to go eat now.”

Eddie blinked, hearing those very familiar words. He suddenly remembered the exact day Ben noticed he wasn’t eating that much, the day Ben caught him kneeling over the toilet and puking out whatever little food he ended up eating. Then he remembered Ben telling him to never skip a meal, because if you skip the first one, you’ll skip all the others as well. Eddie understood why Ben was ordering him to go eat now.

“Okay, fine. I’ll call you back af—“

“No, keep me on the phone. I’ll talk as you eat—and I want to make sure you’re actually eating.”

Eddie nodded, as if Ben could see him and walked to the kitchen, opening the fridge and taking out a full Popeyes chicken box. He microwaved it and put it on a plate, sitting down at the table and eating, listening to Ben console him, telling him to stay strong and push through this. Eddie listened patiently, and took his words into account. But he interrupted him at one point.

“I—I know that it’s going to get better, I know that. But Ben—I feel like I’m not going to be able to see him again without breaking down on the spot.” Eddie lifted a second chicken leg.

Ben took a deep breath. “That’s right, you said you have a class with him.”

“I mean, I can skip the first two classes but I feel like after that—“

“No!” Ben exclaimed suddenly. Eddie blinked, chicken leg hanging out awkwardly from his mouth. “Eddie, whatever you do, don’t avoid him. You do that, you’re giving that fucker the power over you. Don’t let give him the satisfaction of being the reason why you fail that class.”

Eddie poked at his chicken, tearing the skin off. “Ben, it’s not that fucking easy, okay? I can’t just waltz into the class and smile at the guy who fucking _used_ me for his stupid bet.”

“I’m not asking you to smile at him.”

“What are you asking me to do then?”

“I’m asking you to move on. It happened, and I am so, so sorry it happened, but it did. And it’s caused you so much pain and hurt, and it’s only going to cause you more pain and hurt if you keep dwelling on it. But if you accept what happened, then you can move on. The pain and the hurt will stop, and you’ll be happy again. And all I want for you is to be happy. So you need to get over it and carry on with your life, making it the best one you can live. It’s not like it’s the end of the world, so don’t act like it is. You have an endless amount of opurtunities after this, so don’t get tied down to this one low point and decide that you don’t want to try anymore. Just…just go to your class, okay? Act like everything is fine because if you keep acting, it will one day become a reality. Fake it ‘till you make it, right?”

Eddie listens. Ben’s always been one for giving it straight and not bullshitting anyone. Eddie doesn’t know if he hates or loves that about him.

“So what,” Eddie says after biting into his chicken. “I’m just supposed to accept that my first love fucked me to win a bet and broke my fucking heart like it was nothing?”

“Yeah, basically.” Ben said. “Also, don’t confuse ‘accepting’ with ‘forgetting.’ Never _ever_ forget what happened. It’s a part of your past and it always will be. Don’t try to change that. But this experience has made you stronger—wiser. You can use this heartbreak to get motivation to reach happiness again, and show that bastard that you don’t need him like he thinks you do.”

Eddie realizes that Ben’s right. He can’t keep crying over what happened—he can’t keep being sad because Richie isn’t the person he thought he was. There’s more to his life than that. He has so much ahead of him, and Richie sure as fuck wasn’t going to take that away from him, like he did something else of Eddie’s. Eddie takes a deep breath, he flicks at his fourth chicken leg, feeling very full.

He washes his plate as he listens to Ben continue, saying words of encouragement and advice. Telling him to go out today, to treat himself. Go out with his friends even, and just watch a movie.

Eddie wipes his hand and listens. When Ben’s done, he rubs his eyes, swallowing.

“Ben,” he says quietly, shutting his eyes so the tears don’t come again. “I _love_ him.”

Eddie hears Ben take a deep breath.

“I know. And there’s nothing you can do about that. But if you realize that, and really accept it, then one day you won’t, and Richie Tozier will only be a lesson well learned.”

Eddie scoffs mirthlessly. “Yeah—don’t let a guy fuck you a week after knowing him.”

Ben took a sharp breath, awkwardly laughing on the other end. “Yes, that, and also--don't be so naive and trusting. Now you know that people aren't always how they seem. This is a lesson that everyone learns somehow, and you just learned it the harder way."

Eddie sighed and leaned against the door, leaning his head back so he could dry his tears faster.

“So uh, are you going back to your room anytime soon? Or are you going to spend the night at Bill’s?”

“No, I’m going back tonight. I have to anyway, I need my books for class--and my phone's still there.”

Ben told him to focus on school, do good in his classes and not fall to distractions. He told him how much he loved Eddie, and how he supported him to the end, making Eddie feel loved again.

They talked for a few more hours about what else was happening, how Eddie found college to be (besides the whole thing with Richie), how his step parents were doing and how Ben’s job was going. Eddie found himself slowly lose the headache as he talked with Ben, and though the rest of his body was still in pain, it was definitely a start.

When they both put the phone down, Eddie sighed, staring at the time on the clock. 8:15 P.M. He had to go back to his own room now. Eddie felt his heart rate rise when he remembered everything that happened in there, but he shut his eyes and took a deep breath, remembering Ben’s words. _It happened, accept it, and move on._

Eddie nodded to himself as he stood up, ready to go back.

 

_Sunday October 11 th, 2018 – 8: 31 P.M -- Dormitory 2A, Fifth Floor, Room 2069_

Eddie opened the door to his room, peeking his head inside. It was dark and quiet, and he walked further to inspect the room. Eddie let out a relieved sigh when he realized that Richie wasn’t here.

Well, why would he be anyway. It wasn’t like he actually cared about Eddie at all. Eddie frowned at the thought and resisted the urge to pout, resisted the familiar sting in his eyes. He shook his head quickly. He was _not_ going to cry over Richie Tozier again.

When he turned on the light, he realized the room had been cleaned. He blinked once, confused as he looked around his dorm. The messy covers from this morning was neatly tucked into his bed, and his bag was neatly put aside to the wall. But Eddie suddenly noticed a piece of paper on his bed. He frowned, walking towards it. Someone had written on it.

It read:

_eddie pls just give me a chance to explain. it’s not as simple as u think . i fucking love u okay? theres a reason why i did the stupid bet and u need to know .  it was real between us, i promise .   ur probably at bills and i know hes not going to let u be with me anymore, so pls just come to class this thursday then ? i took ur phone so u have no choice but to meet with me im sorry but i need to make sure u hear the truth . i love u eddie and i swear I never meant for u to find out this way , i wanted to tell u myself  i cant stand the thought of u hating me . i need u in my life eds. please._

 

Eddie stared at the words, tears already slipping past his cheeks. He sobbed brokenly, reading the letter again. He was crying partly because he found himself almost believing the lie that Richie told about loving him, and he was crying because he was tired of crying.

He looked around his desk—it was true, Richie had taken his phone. Eddie sighed as he wiped at his eyes, feeling numb around that area. He sat down on the edge of his bed, staring at the note. He read the last two sentences again.

He knew Richie had to be lying. He probably just said to make Eddie think he was actually being genuine. What possible reason could Richie have that would justify him lying like that? Eddie knit his eyebrows together. He knew there was none, and he was _not_ going to let himself listen to Richie fabricate and lie, like Eddie had been letting him this whole time.

He sighed, and lay down in his bed, staring at the note one last time. He frowned at the last words, and then crumpled up the paper, throwing it into his trashcan without a second thought.

_Thursday October 15 th, 2018 – 6: 59 P.M -- Calculus 1, Mr. Zyneznegner_

Eddie opened the door to his class and went inside, holding the straps of his backpack as he began to go up the stairs to his seat. The room was dim in the back, as always, so Eddie eyed his feet to make sure he wouldn’t accidentally trip on anything. The other students in the class quietly talked with their friends, or lazily flipped through their pages as they waited for their teacher to come.

When Eddie reached his aisle, he walked until his foot hit something. That something was someone’s shoe. And it looked too familiar. 

Eddie looked up, and felt his entire world freeze when he saw Richie’s face. It felt like the world had stopped turning on it’s axis, like time was frozen in just this moment. Eddie’s ears rang as he stared at Richie’s eyes, feeling a little faint.

He hadn’t seen Richie since that Sunday, and he’d ignored the consistent knocks and yells from Richie behind his dorm door. He’d cried himself to sleep the first two days it happened, but Richie stopped coming. Eddie assumed he’d given up, and he was certain that Richie wouldn’t show up to class today. He was certain that Richie would finally leave him alone, finally got tired of trying.

But here he was, face to face with Richie, staring down at him in shock. Eddie saw Richie’s mouth open, and he blinked, feeling the world resume and go back to normal again. Eddie remembered Ben’s words from Sunday. He gulped and turned around, stepping down the stairs.

“Eddie!” Richie called out, and Eddie’s heart jumped when he heard Richie’s voice. He ignored the ache and continued walking down the stairs, heading to the seats in the front row. The other students in the class looked at them, confused.

When he sat down, he jumped a little when he saw that Richie was, again, sat right next to him in his new seat. Eddie didn’t look his direction, only took out his notebook and his pencil pouch.

“Eds,” Richie said, sounding a little breathless and awed. “I’ve missed you so, so fucking much. You have no idea how horrible I feel, and how much I regret—“”

“Good morning, everybody!” Mr. Z walked in the classroom, a cheerful smile on his face. Eddie looked up and smiled back at his teacher, showing no indication that he heard Richie. He lay all his pens and pencils in a neat row next to his notebook and opened a fresh page, sitting up straighter and ready to listen.

But he shifted a little when he could see Richie staring at him in the corner of his eye. He resisted the urge to look back, feeling his heart yearn to see his face again.

He heard Richie scoff. “You’re not going to even look at me?”

Eddie suddenly turned to face him, blank faced with slightly narrowed eyes. His breath caught in his throat as he did so, when he saw Richie’s bags under his eyes. He looked like he hadn’t had a good night’s sleep in days.

Did this mean that Richie was affected by him too? That maybe it wasn’t only Eddie who couldn’t really sleep because of Richie? And it was also the other way around? Eddie felt a little hope pop up in his chest, wondering why Richie looked so tired. But then he realized, Richie could have just been faking it. Maybe it was even something else. Eddie bit the inside of his cheek. _Stop thinking everything’s about you, you idiot._ He told himself.

Richie blinked when Eddie faced him, his eyes running all over Eddie’s facial features, observing him like he wanted to savor the memory. But then he saw the cold look in Eddie’s eyes, how his eyebrows were knit together slightly. Richie’s eyes widened a little, looking kind of intimidated.

Eddie felt a surge of pride when he saw Richie’s face. He turned away again and watched Mr. Z struggle with the computer, trying to turn the power point on.

“Eds,” Richie started, in a quieter, more timid voice.

“Don’t fucking call me that.” Eddie looked down at his notebook, writing down the date and the title, drawing the margins for his side notes. His voice was calm and quiet, but cold and calculating.

Richie faltered beside him, quiet at Eddie’s sudden response. Eddie didn’t let himself feel bad. He reminded himself of what Richie did, how Richie lied and used him for his fun.

“Alright! There we go,” Mr. Z suddenly exclaimed, smiling at the now working computer. “So, does anyone remember what we said about logarithmic derivatives last class?”

As the class went on, Eddie took a lot of notes. He picked up his highlighters and eagerly listened, making sure to make notes on the margins neatly. He ignored Richie’s stares, and pretty much the fact that he was even here, and focused on the lesson. He was proud of himself when he actually began to understand.

 _This,_ Eddie reminded himself. _This is what I’m in college for. To learn and to pass with high grades, not to obsess over boys who could couldn’t give two shits about you._

Eddie didn’t let himself think about what Richie was doing, even when he was curious if whether or not Richie was still staring at him. He ignored him completely as he immersed himself in the lesson, raising his hand and asking questions when he needed to.

Soon, the class ended, and students were getting up and leaving. Mr. Z wished them all a good night and started packing up his things. Eddie closed his notebook and started to pack his own stuff as well.

He stood up, swinging the backpack around his shoulders, and then saw Richie stand up as well. Eddie glared at him, annoyed. He didn’t say anything as he walked out of the class, Richie following right beside him.

Eddie stayed silent as he walked, looking ahead and away from Richie’s direction. But Richie stayed quiet as well. Eddie frowned when he realized that, wondering what Richie’s play was. If Richie didn’t want to talk to him, then why was he walking right beside him and at the same pace?

They went outside, and Eddie shivered as he was hit with a cold breeze. He saw Richie’s head snap to him when he did, and ignored him as Richie continued to stare at him, occasionally looking away before staring again.

Finally, Richie opened his mouth.

“You look good.”

Eddie pursed his lips, feeling his heart stop a little. He refused to let himself blush over the compliment. He frowned and looked away, acting disinterested.

“Okay.” Eddie made sure no emotion came in his voice, and he crossed his arms, ignoring Richie’s unwavering stare.

“Eddie,” Richie sighed. “I know you’re mad at me, so can you please just yell at me? Or hit me, slap me or kick me—anything? Hey—“ Richie suddenly held his arm, stopping his walking. Eddie glared at him, but stopped walking. Richie went in front of him, holding him in place. But Eddie shook his arm away, making Richie’s hands drop down.

“Hit me, okay?” Richie asked, looking very desperate. “You know you want to, and I want you to as well. Come on, with everything you got.”

Richie waited, closing his eyes. But when nothing happened, he opened them, only to find Eddie walking away. Richie frowned, watching Eddie walk in the opposite direction.

“Nothing? Really?” Richie said, and Eddie ignored him, remembering Ben’s words. _Don’t give him the satisfaction of seeing that you care._

“Alright, fine,” Richie said suddenly. Eddie walked a little slower, curious as to what Richie would say. “And here’s your phone, by the way.”

Before Eddie was even fully turned around, Richie continued to talk. “Actually—it’s not really your phone, it’s a new one. Yeah, I went to the Apple store and got you an iPhone X2, and transferred all your old data into this one. I knew you’d forgive me if I spoiled you a little, so you’re welcome.”

Eddie dropped his jaw, staring at Richie’s smug face. He balled his fists, and furrowed his eyebrows, glaring at the boy in front of him. Eddie suddenly threw off his backpack and charged at him, pulling his right fist back. The last thing he saw was Richie’s wide eyes and startled face before he heard a _crack!_ and a painful sting on his fist.

“Mother _fuck--!”_ Eddie yelled as he shook his hand and grimaced in pain. But then he saw Richie on the ground, groaning as he tried to sit up. Had he really hit him that hard? But Eddie lost all sympathy when he saw Richie grin.

“There you go! I knew you’d— _oh fuck_!” Richie yelped when Eddie kicked him in the waist. Hard. He started to sit up, face scrunched up in pain.

“What,” Eddie yelled. “Makes you fucking think—“ he kicked him again. “That you can treat me like that?”

He wasn’t even crying—he was too furious to cry.

Richie started to stand. “Eddie wait—“

“No!” Eddie cut him off. “You don’t get to do that! You don’t get to use someone like that and then just buy them off expecting to be forgiven!”

Eddie’s knuckles stung like crazy, but it didn’t stop him from swinging it back to Richie’s face again. But his hand only made it halfway when Richie caught it in a strong grip.

“Stop, okay? You don’t even know the whole story, just let me—“

Eddie made a frustrated noise. “I don’t need to hear the whole story! You lied to me—the whole time! And you used me for your stupid game! You said it yourself!”

Eddie tried taking his hand out of Richie’s grip, but Richie only held him tighter, pulling him closer until Eddie realized that he was hugging him.

“I know,” Richie said in a quieter voice. “I know, okay? I lied to you and I’m _sorry._ But there’s something you don’t know, something that explains why I…why I did what I did.”

Eddie felt fresh tears prick at his eyes, but he pursed his lips, taking in a shaky breath as he let Richie hug him. He felt drained, and his hand hurt like hell. And the headache was back. And even though he knew all of this exhaustion and pain came from Richie, somehow, _somehow,_ he felt comforted in his hold. Eddie relaxed his limbs, and Richie must’ve noticed because he let his hands go tentatively. They stayed that way for minutes before Eddie took a deep breath.

“Richie,” Eddie whispered, shutting his eyes momentarily. “I don’t care about what I don’t know, or how sorry you are. I just want you gone from my life.”

Richie stood still, not moving for a second. Then he was pulling away, staring at Eddie. Eddie allowed himself to look, and suddenly noticed the corner of Richie’s mouth was red and bleeding.

“You…,” Richie said softly, shaking his head. “You don’t mean that. No—after you hear what I have to say, you’ll understand alright? Let’s just go to my room and I’ll tell you the truth—“

Eddie stepped back, fighting away the tears. _Don’t cry, don’t cry, don’t cry._ He picked up his backpack on the floor and looked at Richie with a blank face.

“If you ever talk to me, or touch me again, I swear to god I’ll fucking kill you.”

Richie blinked, and tilted his head back, staring at Eddie’s cold eyes, realizing how serious he was. He then closed his mouth, wiping off the blood on the edge of his lips.

Eddie turned around and started walking, the dead silence of the night making the sound of his footsteps louder. But Eddie didn’t hear Richie’s footsteps come after him, nor did he hear Richie’s voice as he walked away. Eddie took a deep breath.

_Goodbye, Richie Tozier. Thanks for teaching me a lesson._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lol imagine if i just ended the fic here. but don't worry, happy endings are the only endings i know :) i hope you all enjoyed and I know this chapter was shorter, but I wanted to make chapter eight longer so hopefully you guys won't mind. Thank you for the kudos, and all the lovely comments! i do read all of them and love hearing your rants and opinions so thank you so much for them! 
> 
> Updating next week!


	8. The Aftermath

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for being completely dead, but I'm back finally and with a promised longer chapter that explains everything! hopefully you guys forgive me for being gone for so long, and enjoy this chap! hope you like!

_Saturday October 17 th, 2018 – 2: 44 P.M – LandView Outlet Mall, 2nd Floor, Apple Store_

“So,” Stan said, taking a bite out of his apple. “How’d you lose it again?”

Eddie looked around at the iPhones, walking to each aisle with Stan. “I told you. I left it at my class and now it’s not there anymore. Someone must’ve stole it.”

It had been nearly a week without a phone, and Eddie was going crazy. He knew he was never going to talk to Richie again, so he had no other choice but to buy a new phone. Stan was kind enough to lend him some money so he could afford it.

“Yeah, ‘cause someone would steal an iPhone 5 in 2018,” Stan snorted, looking at the phones in front of him. “But I mean, it’s good that you’re getting a new one. Seriously, that phone wasn’t even working properly.”

Eddie hummed. He and Stan walked around the store, playing with all of the phones to see which one was best for him. Stan walked to the aisle in the front. He suddenly grabbed his Eddie’s arm and pointed.

“Look! It’s the iPhone X2! Didn’t it come out like, last Tuesday?” Stan said as he rushed over and picked up the demos, trying them out. A lot of people had crowded around that area too, looking excited and in awe.

Eddie paused. _Wasn’t that the phone Richie had bought him?_ He looked at the price tag, and his jaw dropped. 2,999 dollars. Eddie frowned, suddenly wondering why he was even thinking about Richie. He shook his head, taking a deep breath.

“Stan, come on. It’s way too expensive,” Eddie said as he and Stan walked to the back of the store. They walked around more, until finally Eddie decided on getting the iPhone 7. He asked for an employee, and they bought him to the front desks.

“Time for a new phone?” The man in the front desk said with a cheerful smile as he opened up his computer, punching the keys on his keyboard.

“Something like that, yeah,” Eddie responded after a moment. He waited as the man began registering his new phone.

“Alright, name?” The man asked.

“Eddie Kaspbrak.” Eddie watched the man type on his keyboard, probably pulling up his membership. But then the man paused. He frowned at his screen, and then realized something. He looked at Eddie.

“I’ll be right back,” he said with a wide smile, hurrying off to the back. Eddie blinked, turning to look at Stan. Stan shrugged and took another bite of his apple.

When the man came back, he held an iPhone box in his hand. Eddie’s eyes widened when he realized it was the iPhone X2.

“What—“ he squeaked.

“Some guy came by yesterday and said that an Eddie Kaspbrak would come here soon, and when he did, to give him this as a gift.” The man grinned and handed the box to Eddie, who blinked at it. He heard Stan gasp next to him.

“Dude! No fucking way!” Stan grabbed the box when Eddie didn’t move, and inspected it in his hands.

Eddie knew it was Richie. It had to be. He frowned and then looked back at the employee.

“Thanks, but um. Is there any way that I could exchange this phone for an iPhone 7?”

The man blinked, confused. He saw Stan’s head perk up in the corner of his eye. They were both silent for a moment.

“Uh,” the man started. “You know this is the newest phone, right? It came out last Tue—“

Stan suddenly laughed loudly. Eddie jumped a little, staring at him. Stan threw a hand around his shoulders, a little heavily.

“Of course he knows! Nah, he’s just kidding about the exchanging thing. Can’t get enough of this kid’s humor!” Stan ruffled his hair, making Eddie frown at him. But before Eddie could open his mouth, Stan spoke again.

“So, do we have to do anything else?” he asked, ignoring Eddie’s glare. The employee shook his head.

“Your secret admirer registered and paid for it all himself!” The man winked at Eddie, who only frowned harder. He shook his head and opened his mouth to protest, not wanted to take the stupid phone that Richie wanted to _bribe_ him with. But Stan cut him off. Again.

“Alright! Thanks!” He said cheerily as he pulled Eddie away, walking them out of the store.

“Why’d you do that?” Eddie asked once he shrugged off Stan’s arm around his shoulders. Stan threw his apple core in the trashcan.

“Why were you trying to exchange it?” Stan asked, bewildered. He held the box and looked at Eddie, silently asking for permission to open it. Eddie sighed, shrugging.

“Who do you think it was?” Stan asked, opening the cover. Eddie looked down, hating that Richie still somehow found a way to do what he wanted.

“I don’t know, and I don’t care,” Eddie said bitterly. Stan gave him a weird look, but went back to opening the phone.

Stan marveled about the phone, and Eddie looked away stubbornly, not wanted to give Richie the satisfaction of caring. Even if he wasn’t even here.

They walked around the mall some more, sitting down to get some food and then finishing an hour later. When they exited the mall, Eddie looked down at his watch.

“I'm gonna go to Bill's. We’ve got a test in Bio on Monday, and he wanted to study together.”

Stan nodded, handing the phone to Eddie. Eddie took it reluctantly, earning a weird look from Stan.

“You know,” Stan said. “You’ve been acting really weird lately.”

“Thanks.”

“I’m serious. Did something happen?” Stan asked.

Eddie looked at him, feeling his heart rate quicken. He shook his head as casually as he could. “No, no. I just…I’m just stressed. About my classes.”

Stan stared at him for a moment, like he was trying to see if Eddie was lying or not. Before Stan could respond, Eddie smiled at him.

“See you later then!” He said quickly and started walking away, before Stan would sit him down and figure out what happened himself. Stan was smart. Way smarter than Bill, and Eddie was sure he would ask about Richie. After all, Stan was the one to have doubts about him. And Stan was the type to let his anger out…physically. The last thing Eddie wanted was a fight, especially over him.

Eddie wrapped his arms around his waist, shivering as a cold breeze swept by him. He ignored the voice in his head reminding him that the last time he was here, Richie was with him.

 

_Wednesday October 21st, 2018 – 5: 46 P.M -- Library EES_

 

Eddie sighed as he flipped the page on his textbook, resting his head on his hand as he read over the tiny bold words on the pages. He’d been reading his English textbook for an hour, and his eyelids were starting to become heavy. His vision slowly went black as his head starting to lean off his hand.

“Eddie!”

Eddie jumped, hitting himself in the face with his hand. He looked up with wide eyes, and was surprised to see that it was Bev.

“What’s up, kid?” Bev plopped down on the seat next to him, throwing a hand over the back of his chair. She propped her legs up on the table and popped a Jolly Rancher candy in her mouth. Eddie stared for a moment, Richie’s face flashing through his mind.

“Um,” he started awkwardly. “Just reading.”

Bev grinned. “Reading with your eyes closed?”

Eddie smiled a little, rolling his eyes. “Hey. It’s been a long week for me, alright?” Eddie closed his textbook, looking at his watch.

Ben nodded. "Hey, I get it. I'm about this close to blowing my brains out." She pinched together her two fingers to show, and Eddie laughed. 

"That's why I'm going back home this weekend. I hate saying it, but. I miss Derry."

Bev suddenly turned to Eddie, putting her feet down. "You're a freshman, right? I remember when I was last year. College was really rough for me, even the first year. I missed Derry, as much as I hated to admit it. That place might've been hell, but it was home, you know?"

Eddie listened, nodding. He realized that he could relate. Eddie  _had_ missed Derry. He missed the boring, old, gray town. Even all of the boring, old, gray people in it. Of course, he did live in the richer part of town, so it wasn't all too bad. It was something familiar, something comforting. But most of all, Ben was there. His heart suddenly ached, longing to see Ben again.

"You're making me want to go back now too," Eddie said, smiling a little. He really meant it. He wanted to see Ben, and his parents. He needed to--he was still crying himself to sleep some nights.

“I’m actually driving a couple of friends to Derry with me next weekend," Bev said. "If you want, I can give you a ride."

Eddie perked up.

“Wait, seriously?” he asked, sitting a little straighter.

Bev shrugged. “Yeah, why not? I’m going to go, you obviously want to go, so sure. It’ll be a fun, little road-trip.”

Eddie liked the sound of it. He desperately needed some kind of get away—from everything. And he knew his parents would be happy about the surprise visit. Eddie smiled to himself and nodded.

“Okay, let’s do it! Thank you so much, and I swear, I’ll pay you back—“

Bev cut him off. “Hey hey—I don’t want any of your money, seriously. I’m doing this as a favor. Its what friends do.”

Eddie paused. They weren’t friends, not really, Eddie thought. But he quickly pushed the thought away when he realized that he was getting a ride back to Derry for free. He nodded happily and leaned in to hug her, already feeling his mood lift at the thought of seeing Ben and his step parents again.

Bev seemed a little surprised at the hug, but she hugged back after a second. Eddie blushed a little as he pulled away, wondering if he was being weird.

“Sorry,” he said sheepishly, standing up and holding his textbook against his chest.

Bev shook her head, a warm smile on her face. “Don’t be! I just didn’t think you’d be so excited.”

“No, I. You were right. I miss Derry too. But mostly I miss my brother and my parents. I was planning on visiting in November, but the earlier the better. Thank you. Really.”

Bev nodded once. “No problem, kid.” She paused then, wondering if she should say something else.

“But uh, you and Richie aren’t together anymore, right?”

Eddie froze a little, blinking. He felt his stomach turn a little, the comforting feeling suddenly gone.

“Um.” Eddie cleared his throat. “Wait—was this his idea? Did he make you come—“

“No!” Bev suddenly exclaimed. “Trust me—he’s not making me do anything. I only know because he hasn’t been doing so good lately, and he keeps calling me drunk talking about missing you. I only bought him up because I’m driving him to Derry this weekend too. But I wasn’t sure if you’d be okay with that.”

Eddie took a deep breath, feeling his stomach jittering again. He looked down, wondering how it’d be. Being in the same car as Richie for 10 hours. Eddie shivered a little, wondering if it was worth it.

But he remembered Ben’s face, and his parent’s warm smiles. He realized that he loved his family more than he hated Richie. Besides, not going simply because Richie was also going? That was pathetic. He was stronger than that. Eddie shook his head.

“No um. It’s fine. I still want to go.”

Bev nodded, smiling gently at him. “Does Friday, 7 PM sound good to you? I can pick you up from your dormitory.”

Eddie nodded quickly, saying it was fine. He exchanged numbers with her and thanked her once again, starting to walk out with her from the Library. Bev looked at him once they were out.

“Can I ask what happened?” she asked tentatively. "I've just never seen Richie so down in my entire life."

Eddie blinked at that, surprised at the information. But he knew the question was coming, so he sighed.

“I honestly don’t even really know myself,” he said, scoffing. “But it’s fine. It wasn’t meant to be. I’m not angry or sad about it—it’s in the past.”

Bev nodded after a while, smiling at him. "Okay. See you soon, Eddie!"

As he said bye to Bev, he took a deep breath, anxious for Friday. He didn’t know if it was because he was going to see Ben or Richie.

 

_Friday October 24 th, 2018 – 6:58 PM -- Dormitory 2A, Parking Lot 2A_

Eddie tapped the ball in the game on his phone, sitting down at the bench and propping his head up with his arm on his leg. He paused the game, yawning. But when he opened his eyes, he saw a car’s headlights start to get near him. Eddie got up, tucking his phone into his pocket. He grabbed his bag and watched the van stop in front of him. Sure enough, it was Bev.

“Hey!” she said cheerily once the window was rolled down. Eddie greeted her back and placed his bag in the trunk. Bev motioned for him to sit in the passenger seat next to her. Eddie opened the door and went inside, surprised to see two people already in the back.

“Guys, this is Eddie. Eddie, the guys,” Bev gestured to the two boys in the back. One of them had a sketchbook on their lap, and looked up with a pencil in his hand. He smiled and waved at Eddie. The other boy was focused on his phone, probably playing some game as his thumbs repeatedly hit the screen.

“Hey, Eddie,” the boy said, eyes glued to his screen. Bev rolled her eyes, making Eddie laugh a little.

“Sorry about him. He wouldn’t know manners if it hit him in the face.” Bev snorted.

“I’ll hit _you_ in the face,” the boy said, still focused on his game as his thumb tapped the screen again.

“That doesn’t even make sense, you fuckwad.”

Bev and boy bickered back and forth, and Eddie giggled silently as they did, already knowing they were probably very close friends. He suddenly looked back again and realized that Richie wasn’t there. Bev must’ve seen him noticing.

“I’m picking up Richie now,” she said, as if answering his silent question. Eddie looked at her, feeling his nerves start to stir in his stomach again.

“Cool. Um. He knows I’m here, right?”

Bev nodded. “Yeah, I told him today. He tried acting casual about it, but I could tell he was freaking out inside.” Bev laughed, unaware of Eddie's surprise.

He paused, looking at her. _Richie freaking out? Over me?_ Eddie suddenly shook his head, as if to himself. _Stop thinking about him. He doesn’t matter anymore._

Then Bev was turning a corner, and entered the dorm parking lot. She parked the car outside of the building, taking out her phone and texting someone. Eddie held his breath as he tried to make out anything in the darkness outside.

Suddenly, the van door opened, and someone came inside. Eddie bit his lip as he resisted the urge to look in the back. But Bev did, and she frowned.

“What the fuck, Tozier? I thought I told you to bring the drinks!”

Eddie heard shuffling behind him, and then finally the door closing again.

“Calm down, Marsh. You’re going down route 1, right? McDonalds is right there, let’s just get it on the way.”

Eddie felt his heart ache at the sound of Richie’s voice. He took a deep breath, feeling his heart yearn to hear it again. But Eddie frowned, looking outside the window and clenching his jaw. _He’s nothing special. Get over it._

Bev huffed, turning back to the wheel. “Fine. But you’re buying for all of us, not me.”

Richie hummed, not saying anything else. Bev started to drive again, but looked at Eddie.

“What drink do you want from McDonalds?” she asked him.

Eddie thought about it. “I usually get a caramel Macchiato.”

Bev nodded. They drove for a few more minutes until they reached McDonalds restaurant. Eddie was incredibly hungry so he was grateful for Bev’s idea to get drinks. Once Bev parked, she turned to Richie.

“Okay—one Mocha Frappe, one Coffee Frappe, and one Caramel Macchiato. And whatever you’re getting. Got it?” she said to him.

Eddie heard the door open, and Richie walked out. Bev turned back to him, eyeing him for a moment.

She didn’t say anything, but Eddie knew she must’ve wanted to ask about Richie. She suddenly handed him her phone, opening her iTunes library. Eddie looked at her, confused.

“You look like you have good taste in music,” she said. She turned on the Bluetooth button on the car set in front of her. Eddie smiled and looked through her library, trying to pick out the songs that he knew. He eventually picked one and started making a playlist.

After a few minutes, the car door in the back opened, and Eddie felt the slight breeze as it did so. He heard some shuffling, and then the door closed again.

“Did you get everything?” Bev asked, reaching her hand out. Eddie heard Richie hum in affirmation, and then saw Bev hand him a cup from the tray of four. Eddie took it, and Bev distributed the other drinks.

“Hey!” Eddie heard the gamer-boy say. “Where’s mine?”

Bev rolled her eyes. “I asked you what you wanted earlier, you ignored me. Too bad, so sad.”

“Ugh, whatever.” The boy went back to his game, and Eddie sipped from his drink quietly, feeling a little bad for the boy. When Bev began driving again, she spoke out to Richie.

“Hey Rich, do you mind driving after a few hours?” she asked, propping her head back to relax a little more. Eddie turned to her, confused.

“Uh, sure,” Richie said, clearing his throat. Bev looked at Eddie, noticing his confusion.

“Can’t drive too well at night,” she explained. Eddie nodded, and decided he’d just go to the backseats once Bev and Richie switched places. There was no way he was going to sit next to Richie in the small space. He turned back to Bev’s phone, picking out a playlist and sipping at his drink.

The group began to talk about where they grew up, and places that they were each going to visit. Eddie didn’t say anything about what he’d do in Derry, he didn’t feel like it was necessary to divulge the information. Especially not to Richie. But Richie didn’t reveal anything either, just hummed or stayed quiet when Bev told why she was going.

Bev apparently had a family party that was thrown every year in October where all of her relatives would drive to a resort beside the river, and ‘eat fancy ass food and pretend like we’re happy’, according to Bev.

Eddie listened, and found himself laughing out loud to whatever Bev had to say. She was actually really funny, and he couldn’t help the giggles that came out of his mouth. He was having fun, despite the nagging reminder in his mind that Richie was right there in the car with him. But he didn’t let that stop him from being happy. Like Ben said, it’s in the past.

Eddie realized that he could do this. He could definitely handle Richie being here. After all, it wasn’t like anything would happen anymore. He was slowly getting over the obnoxiously tall boy, and nothing made him happier.

 

_Friday October 24 th, 2018 – 11: 16 P.M – Beverly Marsh’s Toyota Van_

Eddie slowly opened his eyes, his vision still blurred from his sleep. He rubbed at his eyes, his knees tucked against his chest and his body facing the driver’s seat. Eddie yawned and smacked his lips together twice, still dazed from his sleep. He blinked, and suddenly realized that Bev’s orange hair wasn’t in his view. Instead, it was pitch black and messy? Eddie squinted his eyes, his vision slowly clearing. His breath caught in his throat when he realized it was _Richie._ Richie was driving. Richie was sitting right next to him. He was facing Richie!

Eddie internally panicked for a moment, and then put his feet down, quickly facing the front again. He saw Richie’s head turn to him for a moment, before turning away again. Eddie shut his eyes momentarily. _Why, why did I have to fall asleep?_

Eddie scooted just a tad bit away from Richie, wrapping his arms around his waist. He stared out the window, feeling himself die a little at the awkwardness.

But he suddenly realized how hungry he was. Eddie looked down at his stomach and felt it growl a little, screaming for food. He looked up in front of him, and saw an ‘In-N-Out’ Fast food sign coming up.

Eddie looked in the back, about to ask Bev if they could stop for food, but she was sleeping. In fact, the two boys were also sleeping, all leaning on the other’s bodies awkwardly. Eddie heard all three of them quietly snore in rhythm.

He sighed and looked back in the front, staring at the fast food sign as it came nearer and nearer. He knew he had to tell Richie if he wanted to stop and eat, but he just couldn’t do it. His mouth was frozen, and he couldn’t even face Richie.

Eddie sadly watched the sign come closer, but just as they were about to pass it, the car suddenly made a turn, heading towards the fast food restaurant. Eddie shifted a little from the turn, and he turned to stare at Richie.

Richie kept his eyes foreword, and drove to the parking lot with one hand on the steering wheel. Eddie kept staring. _Did he stop for me?_

Once Richie parked the car, they both sat in their seats silently, the quiet music in the background. Eddie looked away, fumbling with his fingers and not sure what to do. Richie didn’t do anything either, just cleared his throat after a minute.

“Hey. Bev.” Richie turned to the back, tapping Bev’s foot that was propped up on the car seats. “We’re getting food. Wake up.”

Eddie looked out the window, not sure if he should help wake them up or not. He heard some shuffling behind him, and then Bev mumbling. Richie tapped her again, but Bev ignored him, mumbling something about leaving her alone. The other boys didn’t move either, just snored as they slept peacefully.

Richie slowly turned back, unbuckling his seatbelt after a long pause. Eddie saw him look at him in the corner of his eye, like he was waiting for something. Eddie hated how awkward this entire thing was. Why was this happening to _him?_

Unable to take it anymore, he unbuckled his own seatbelt and opened the door, stepping outside. He heard Richie do the same.

He didn’t wait for him though, and started walking to the restaurant. It was a quiet night, and store was also quiet. When he got inside, Eddie only saw one other person sitting down—a bald, fat man who was slowly dozing off into his tray of fries and fish.

Eddie walked up to the menus on the wall, reading the tiny bold words. The cashier was a girl, a really pretty one actually. She was probably in high school, and she had long fishtail braids with an In-N-Out cap on her head. She was chewing gum, pretty loudly Eddie noted, and smacked her glossy lips together every now and then.

Eddie resumed reading the menus, and then noticed Richie standing next to him, an obvious space between them. Eddie’s heart began to beat faster, and he fumbled with his fingers, trying to pick a meal already.

“Um,” he started after a moment, looking back at the girl. “Can I just have a double burger with fries, please?”

The girl nodded, entering something down in her machine. She then looked at Richie, and smiled widely. A little too wide.

“And for you, sir?” She said in a sweet voice, batting her eyelashes twice as she twirled one of her braids in her finger.

Eddie stared at her.

Richie cleared his throat after a beat of silence.

“Oh, um. Nothing for me,” he said, his voice a little scratchy and deep.

The girl smiled wide again, all teeth and gums, as she entered his order in as well. Eddie was just about to sit down at a table, already knowing that Richie would pay, but then the girl looked back up at Richie.

“I only ever see old and fat people here,” the girl started. “But you’re like, really cute! So, how old are you?”

Eddie’s jaw dropped a little. Did she seriously…? What? Eddie felt his stomach turn a little.

He heard Richie laugh awkwardly beside him. “Too old for you, kid. But uh, thanks.”

The girl giggled a little too hard, and Eddie hated that it was actually kind of cute. She twirled her braid in her finger, smacking her lips together as she looked Richie up and down.

“Are you sure? I mean, I’m pretty…experienced. Maybe you could see for yourself?” she leaned against the counter, pushing her chest out obscenely. Eddie felt his hands clench a little. He opened his mouth.

“That’ll be all. Thanks,” he said bitterly, glaring at the girl. She looked at him for a moment, nodding once before turning back to look at Richie.

“What’s your name?” she asked, batting her eyelashes again. Eddie felt like he could be sick.

“Uh, listen, I—“

“He’s taken.” Eddie couldn’t help it. The words just flew out of his mouth before he could stop them. The girl blinked at him, leaning back then. She looked at them both, and then made a realizing face.

“Ohhh. So you guys are…oh. Okay. Sorry,” she laughed sheepishly, and her face went a little red. She stood awkwardly before rushing into the back kitchen doors, avoiding both of their gazes.     

Eddie suddenly realized what he just said. Why had he said that? And why was he so mad? He walked to a table, sitting down and avoiding eye contact with Richie, who sat in the chair in front of him.

Eddie knew he was blushing, could feel the hot in his cheeks as he tried to think of something to say. To stop cringing inside.

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

Okay, so it wasn’t the perfect thing to say, but Eddie couldn’t help saying it. Richie looked at him, a small smile on his lips. But it wasn’t the usual cocky one, like he always had. Instead, it was fond and amused.

“I…I wasn’t going to talk about it,” Richie said after a while, and he sounded genuine. Eddie looked at him, feeling his stupid heart beat at the sight of his face. He noticed the corner of Richie’s mouth was red and a little swollen from Eddie’s punch.

Eddie frowned at him. “Good. ‘Cause there’s nothing to talk about.”

Richie nodded, looking down. Eddie crossed his arms.

“It’s not like I was jealous or anything,” he said. Richie looked up at him. “Because that would mean I still care about you. And I don’t. Care about you.” His tone was extremely defensive, even Eddie could tell. He hated how obvious he was, and Richie must’ve noticed because he paused for a long moment.

Richie opened his mouth. “Eds, I—“

“Don’t call me that.”

Richie’s face fell a little. “Right, sorry. Eddie, I really wasn’t looking to fight with you. I just want you to be happy.”

Eddie hated how sincere Richie was being. He rolled his eyes and looked away.

“Yeah, well. It’s a little too late for that, isn’t it? Thanks to you.”

Eddie knew he was being a brat, and knew his comment had a lot more bite than he intended for it to have. So when Richie only nodded in response and looked down sadly, he felt bad. Only a little.

But looking at him now, Richie looked like a sad puppy, kicked to the curbs. He couldn’t even look Eddie in the eye. Eddie felt a twang of guilt in his chest. Part of him knew that Richie deserved this treatment, but the other part of him wondered if this was really necessary. Being mean to him. Richie genuinely seemed…sad. He had it written all over his face.

Eddie bit his lip, staring at him. He sighed after a moment, and looked at the drink dispensers behind them. He nudged Richie’s hand, making Richie’s head perk up eagerly.

“Um,” he started, a lot less venom in his voice. “Can you get me some water?”

Richie practically jumped up, nodding furiously as he rushed to the drinks. Eddie smiled a little at the action, and then immediately wiped it off, not wanting Richie to see.

Richie came back quickly, handing him a cup full of water. But before sitting down, he grabbed two straws, handing him one hesitantly.

Eddie took it, placing it in his cup and sipping. He looked at Richie, who seemed like he wasn’t really sure what to do. Richie looked to the side, his leg bouncing.

Eddie put his water down. “I got the phone. The one you bought for me.”

Richie looked at him. “Oh—I wasn’t trying to force you to get it, I just didn’t want you to waste your money on a new phone when I already got you one.”

Eddie gave him a flat look. “Really. So it wasn’t a bribe?”

Richie’s eyes widened a little. He shook his head quickly. “No! I…alright, maybe it was a bribe in the beginning. When I first bought it, I thought you might like it and…” Richie trailed off when he noticed Eddie’s frown. “But now I realize that you’ve made up your mind, and you’re never going to forgive me, so.”

Richie looked down again, and his leg stopped bouncing. Eddie stared at him, trying to figure something out.

“On Thursday you were begging me to hear the ‘whole story’, and now you don’t want to tell me?” he asked.

“I still want to tell you, but I…I don’t want you to think that I’m just trying to justify what I did. I know what I did was wrong, and I know you’ll never forgive me for it,” Richie said, his voice breaking a little in the end. His eyes were sad and shiny, and he stared down at his hands.

Eddie didn’t say anything for a moment, just watched Richie from where he sat, trying to figure out why exactly he was feeling sympathy right now. _He used you,_ Eddie reminded himself. _You were just a conquest between him and his friend. He doesn’t even care about you._

But was that true? Eddie looked at him now, looked at Richie’s fallen face, and wondered if that last part was true. Eddie shoved the thought away, frowning.

“So,” he said, a little too loud. “What exactly was the bet? Make me fall in love with you or getting me to fuck you?”

Richie looked at him, blinking his shiny eyes. His mouth opened several times, but it seemed like he was struggling to say something. Eddie scoffed, shaking his head.

“So you’re speechless when I need the truth, but you didn’t have a problem lying to my face all those times? Great,” Eddie said, leaning back in his chair and glaring at him. His tone was less harsh than before, but it still made Richie flinch a little.

But the girl from the cashier came, holding up a tray. She smiled at Eddie and put down his plate of food. Then she put down a chocolate mousse rectangular cake in between them. Eddie looked at it confused, and opened his mouth to talk, but the girl spoke first.

“I know you didn’t order it—it’s from me, I just. I’m so sorry about flirting with your boyfriend, I really didn’t know you two were together, I swear,” the girl rushed out, a blush and apologetic look on her face.

Eddie blinked, not sure what to say. His cheeks got a little hot too, now that he was processing what she was saying. When he didn’t say anything, Richie spoke up.

“It’s honestly fine, kid. Thanks for the cake,” Richie said to her, giving a warm smile. Eddie bit his lip, looking down. The girl smiled back, a little embarrassed, and rushed back to the kitchen.

They both sat in silence for a moment, leaving Eddie to cringe inside at literally everything right now. But he cleared his throat and avoided Richie’s eye, picking up his burger and taking a bite.

He looked everywhere but at Richie as he ate, thankful for the food filling up his empty stomach. Richie didn’t look at him either, just looked around the store. Eddie chewed his burger as he finally mustered up the courage to look at him, and remembered that Richie hadn’t ordered anything.

“You’re not going to eat?” Eddie asked, looking down at his burger and trying to act disinterested, like he didn’t really care if Richie was going to eat or not.

Richie shook his head, leaning his forearms on the the table. “Nah, I’m not really hungry.”

Eddie stared at him as he chewed. _So he really did stop the car for me._

Eddie ate his burger for couple of more minutes, until he became too full. His handed his half eaten burger to Richie.

“Oh—no, I’m not—“ Richie started, shaking his head at it.

“You need to eat, okay? Just eat the burger, I can’t finish it anyway,” Eddie said as he picked up some fries from his cup. Richie took it after a moment, and began eating quietly. Eddie watched him eat, unable to look away for some reason. He had really missed Richie. Seeing him, being near him. Eddie’s heart swelled as he watched Richie finish the burger, feeling a wave of nostalgia hit him.

Eddie picked up his fork and began eating the cake, the plate still in between them. He picked up Richie’s fork for him and put in Richie’s hand, gesturing for him to eat as well. Richie looked at him, but Eddie didn’t return the gaze as he ate from his side of the cake, feeling his heart thump faster and faster.

They ate in silence, the only noise in the restaurant being the constant whirr of the air conditioning and the snores of the man who was still dozing off into his food behind them. But for some reason, Eddie felt more at peace than he had for the last week. He felt content, and whole again, and found himself eating slower just to stay a little longer. Stay a little longer with Richie.

Eddie scraped at his plate, gathering all of the chocolate, and brought the fork to his mouth, looking up. He made a split second eye contact with Richie, who must have been looking at him, before Richie blinked and looked down immediately, awkwardly forking his side of the cake.

Eddie stared at him for a moment, stopping his movements. His heart skipped a beat, and he scoffed.

“It’s not fucking fair,” he muttered, going back to forking his cake. Richie’s head perked up.

“What?” he asked tentatively, like he wasn’t sure whether he should say anything.

“You broke my heart and for some fucking reason, you still make it go crazy. It’s not fair.” Eddie stared down at his cake, scared that if he looked up at Richie, he’d break down right there and then.

“Eddie,” Richie started, it a quiet voice. “You are the only person that I’ve ever felt truly happy with. You’re the only person I’ve ever cared about—and I know you don’t believe me, and that’s fine. But you’ve got to know that I love you, alright? I just…I need you to know that.”

Eddie looked at him, tears welling up in his eyes as he tried not to break down completely.

“You wouldn’t do what you did to someone you loved.”

“That’s the thing—I wasn’t going to!” Richie suddenly said. Eddie frowned, confused at what Richie meant.

Richie sighed. “Look, the entire bet was to…sleep with you and then dump you after, and never talk to you again. But Eddie—that morning you found out, I went to Henry and told him it was off. That I wasn’t going to leave you because I actually loved you! He got mad when I told him, but I didn’t care. All I wanted was to be with you,” Richie said, his eyes wide and pleading.

Eddie’s cheeks were warm with tears at this point, and he sniffled as he looked down at his lip, his chest aching with something he couldn’t figure out. He wasn’t sure if he believed Richie, but…seeing the look on Richie’s face, it was hard not to believe him.

But now Eddie was curious. Curious to know why Richie even did the bet anyway. He knew Richie had been trying to tell him all along, so now he was eager to know the whole truth. He looked up, his vision a little blurry, and wiped his eyes with the back of his hand.

“So why’d you do the bet, then? What’s the ‘whole story’?” Eddie asked, his voice shaking a little. Richie looked a little surprised.

“I thought you didn’t care about—“

“If I’m going to forgive you,” Eddie said, and saw Richie’s face light up. “ _If,_ ” he emphasized. “Then I need to know the whole truth.” Eddie wiped at his face again, regaining his composure and taking a deep breath.

Richie smiled a little, his eyes wide and hopeful.

“Yes, yes of course I will tell you every—“   

Suddenly, the restaurant door opened, it’s bells jingling as it did so. Bev two boys walked in.

“Ah! There you guys are!” Bev exclaimed, and before Eddie could say anything, she pulled up a chair to their table. “Good thing you stopped the car ‘cause I could eat a fucking horse right now.”

The two boys also pulled up chairs to their table, and called for the waitress. Eddie blinked at the suddenness and looked at Richie, who looked a little frustrated.

“Bev, can you guys—“ Richie started, but Eddie cut him off, forcing a tight smile.

“No, it’s fine,” he said, looking at Bev. He gestured to some of his fries. “Eat—you need to have dinner.”

Bev grinned and nodded, suddenly bringing up a hand and pinching his cheek.

“You are just so fucking cute, you know that?” Bev exclaimed loudly, making Eddie scrunch up his nose and shake his head away, blushing with a small giggle. He looked down at his lap before allowing himself to look at Richie, who was already staring, but this time didn’t look away.

Richie stared at him with a fond look, his eyes twinkling as it wandered on Eddie’s face, the corner of his lips turned up into a small smile. Eddie felt a wave of shivers hit him, and he looked down again, trying not to feel so flustered.

But he gave Richie a small smile and a shrug, as if to say, ‘you can tell me later.’ Richie blinked and nodded once, leaning back in his chair as the waitress bought everyone their food.

“You guys,” Bev started, stuffing a handful of fries in her mouth. “Will not _believe_ the dream I just had.”

 

 

_Saturday October 24 th, 2018 – 6:02 A.M – Panera Bread _

Eddie yawned as he blinked lazily, still dazed from his sleep in the car. He had his arms wrapped around his waist, the cool air in the restaurant making him shiver every now and then. There were already quite a few people in the restaurant, so Bev rushed to the counter to tell them their orders.

Eddie asked for chocolate croissants, something he’d discovered after his mother was admitted, and soon became obsessed with. Derry’s Panera Bread had the best croissants, so he eagerly waited in the table where he sat first for them.

Bev and the two boys waited at the counter, and Richie stood awkwardly behind them, and kept glancing at where Eddie sat, like he wasn’t sure where to go. Eddie looked the opposite way, not sure if he wanted Richie to come or not.

It was like all of the hatred Eddie had felt the past week was slowly dissipating the more he was around Richie. Richie was starting to make Eddie want to forgive him, and he hated himself for that. The usual mantra of ‘ _he broke your heart’_ was getting overshadowed with a new thought of ‘ _but he’s putting it back together again’._ Eddie shivered again as someone opened the front door, making the cool breeze hit him.

Then he felt a sweater around his shoulders, and he turned around to see Richie, who must’ve decided to come where Eddie was, because he was sitting down hesitantly next to him, leaving an obvious space between them. Richie adjusted the sweater on his shoulders just enough to leave it hanging down on it’s own, and then pulled back his hands quickly, like he didn’t want to overstep his boundaries. Eddie didn’t know why his heart fluttered at that.

Eddie took the sweater and pushed his arms through, zipping it up over his long sleeved shirt. He noticed it wasn’t Richie’s, though. He looked confusedly at Richie, a small smile on his lips.

“Oh—it’s Tyler’s,” Richie said, pointing at the boy next to Bev, who was angrily tapping at the game on his phone.

Eddie nodded. “Ah. The gamer,” he said, seeing Richie smile and nod. “How do you even know him anyway?”

“Through Bev. He’s like a brother to her,” Richie explained, them both turning their heads just in time to see Bev whack Tyler on the head, making his phone drop out of his hands. Eddie giggled softly, and Richie’s head whipped back him, staring at him wordlessly. Eddie blinked under the sudden gaze, and he cleared his throat.

“Um,” he started, unsure of what to say. “So why exactly are you visiting?”

“I have to take care of a few things. Funeral finalities and signing, that kind of thing,” Richie said, wiping the table with a tissue in Eddie’s area, as if he knew Eddie was going to do it himself in a few minutes.

Eddie’s jaw dropped, and he stared at Richie, who was carefully scrubbing the corners of Eddie’s table side.

“W—Funeral?” Eddie whispered. “What funeral? Who’s funeral?”

Richie looked at him, putting the tissue to the side.

“My mom,” Richie said. “She uh, she died on Thursday night.”

Eddie faltered. Thursday night? So after he and Richie fought? Eddie couldn’t stop staring at Richie, and was at a loss for words. Richie didn’t seem bothered, he just ran a hand through his wild hair and leaned back, stretching out his legs under the table.

“I’m…I’m sorry,” Eddie finally said, his mind still racing. Richie smiled at him, his eyes boring into Eddie’s.

“Don’t be.” Richie looked back at Bev and the boys, who were starting to get the trays of food.

Eddie turned his body to face Richie some more.

“What, um. What time is the appointment?” he asked. Richie glanced at the clock in the restaurant.

“They said 9: 30, so, I’ve got at least 3 hours to kill.”

"You're not going alone, right?" Eddie asked, seeing Richie shrug.

"Yeah, but I don't mind."

Eddie paused. "You said your mom was dating someone? Isn't her boyfriend going to come?"

Richie shook his head, scoffing a little. “Nope—the fucker skipped town the second she was hospitalized.”

Eddie remembered Richie saying how she was in a coma, so that meant her boyfriend had left her there, alone. Eddie watched Richie fiddle with the napkins, suddenly feeling a huge amount of pity for him. No one should have to go through their mother’s death alone.

“I,” Eddie started, clearing his throat and making Richie look at him. “I could go with you…um, like just for support. Only if you want though.”

Richie blinked at him, obviously surprised. He sat a little straighter, nodding with a small smile.

“Okay,” he said, his eyes lighting up a little. “Uh—thank you.”

Eddie gave a small smile, shrugging lightly. “My parents work until 5, so. Might as pass some of the time with you,” he said, the last part coming out a little quieter. They were both silent after that, and finally, Bev and the boys came back with their trays of food.

 

 

_Saturday October 24 th, 2018 – 9: 32 A.M – Derry Funeral Home_

Bev had drove Richie over to the funeral services place, and him and Eddie both got out, eyeing the depressing place with curiosity.

“Call me when you’re done, okay?” Bev said, and Richie gave her a nod. Eddie thanked her for breakfast and showing him where she grew up. He had met Bev’s parents, who were extremely nice people, as well as her grandmother.

Bev waved them goodbye and drove off, leaving Eddie and Richie alone together. Eddie wrapped his arms around his waist, and looked at Richie, who was staring at the building with a clenched jaw. He almost looked a little mad.

Eddie got closer to him, and he tentatively put a hand on Richie’s shoulder.

“You okay?” he asked, making Richie immediately look down at him. Richie’s face softened, and he nodded quickly, giving Eddie a small smile.

“Yeah,” he said, looking down for a moment. “I’m alright.”

Eddie stared at him, already knowing that his mother’s death was affecting him more than he would admit. Richie seemed like he was dreading going inside, his feet planted right where he stood without moving. Eddie let his arm fall, and he hesitated for a moment.

He knew Richie had caused him the most pain he’d ever felt in his whole life, and he knew Richie had broken his heart and hurt him, but right now, Richie was hurting too. Eddie believed that Richie was hearting from their breakup—he saw it in his eyes when they fought last time, and at the restaurant last night. And now Richie was hurting from his own mother’s death. Eddie couldn’t help but feel bad for him, and decided that he needed to be here for Richie. No one else was.

Eddie took Richie’s hand, intertwining their fingers together. Richie looked down at their hands, and back up at Eddie with wide, shining eyes. Eddie smiled at him, giving his hand a small tug.

“Come on,” he said, motioning his head towards the building. “Let’s go inside.”

Richie paused for a long moment, and then finally dropped his head, nodding. Eddie felt Richie’s hand engulf his own as Richie held on tight. Eddie’s heart skipped a beat at that, ignoring how much comfort he felt.

Eddie led him by the hand, pushing the door open for them. They stepped inside, and Eddie led them to the front desk. The place was pretty much empty, except for a few old, bald men who were looking at pamphlets by the door.

“Hello, how may I help you?” the man at the front desk said, with a smile too bright for the depressing place. Eddie greeted him back and look at Richie, who cleared his throat quickly.

“I, uh—I have an appointment for the burial planning?” Richie started, unsure. The man nodded and looked through his computer.

“Name of the deceased, please?” he asked. Eddie felt Richie’s hand tighten around his for a second.

“Maggie Tozier,” Richie said, his voice a little strained, like he was trying to act casual. Eddie was beginning to see more and more of Richie’s vulnerable side, the side that wasn’t confident or cocky, or unaffected. And it made Eddie fall just a little bit more in love with him. But of course, Eddie ignored that thought.

The man led them both to an office, where another man was sat. He stood up and hand shook both of them, and began talking once everyone was settled down.

The man had Richie sign a bunch of papers, just the formalities and final settlements.

“The burial will begin at 7 P.M tonight. Is that okay?” The man asked them.

Richie looked at Eddie, who nodded quickly, and Richie did the same.

“That’s fine, thanks.” 

After another hour, all of the paperwork was finished, and Eddie and Richie stood up as they were ready to leave. The man thanked them for their cooperation and wished them all the best, holding the door open as they walked out.

Eddie bit his lip as they walked outside in silence, peeking at Richie out of the corner of his eye. Richie looked a little awkward, and he rubbed the back of his neck as he avoided Eddie’s direction.

But finally, Richie must’ve mustered up the courage to talk because he looked at Eddie.

“Thanks for helping me,” he said, giving running a hand through his hair. Eddie quickly nodded and shrugged lightly.

“It’s no big deal—really,” he said. “And no one should have to go through these things alone.”

Eddie looked down, suddenly curious about something. He looked up at Richie, walking a little slower, getting Richie to match his pace.

“Um,” he started, unsure of whether or not he should ask. “I know your mom’s boyfriend can’t come, but. But what about your dad? Your biological one?”

Richie slowed his walking, eventually stopping. Eddie stopped as well, standing in front of him.

“No, he uh,” Richie started. “He’s kind of…hiding from the cops.”

Eddie frowned. “What?”

Richie scratched the back of his head, stretching his arms a bit. “I don’t really know what happened, but the cops are after him. Something about a meth lab blowing up.”

Eddie blinked, not knowing what to say.

“Oh.”

Richie nodded, pursing his lips. “Yeah. So he can’t come.”

Eddie bit his lip, looking at Richie with a pained look. Richie saw this and laughed mirthlessly, shaking his head.

“God—don’t look at me like that, alright?” Richie started to walk, slow enough to let Eddie follow quickly.

“Like what? I’m not looking at you like anything!” Eddie said defensively, wiping the look off his face like Richie didn’t already see it. Richie tusked.

“I can see the pity written all over your face,” Richie said, kicking at a pebble with his shoe. “And I don’t need pity. I’m fine. Seriously. I don’t even want my dad here, he disgusts me. And I couldn’t care less about my mom. She had it coming, so I’m not surprised.”

Eddie listened, making sure to not react so much at Richie’s words. He could tell Richie was a little angry, the way his fists were slightly clenched, the way his eyebrows knit together.

“It’s okay, Rich. Seriously it’s going to be—“ Eddie started to console him, but Richie turned to him.

“Hey, let’s go to Cheery Cherry!” Richie suddenly said, smiling and ignoring what Eddie was about to say. He pointed ahead, and sure enough, the Cheery Cherry parlor was right there, looking identical to when Eddie last saw it.

Eddie blinked, looking at the ice cream shop. He glanced at Richie, who grinned at him, like he wasn’t just angry a minute ago. Eddie opened his mouth, about to tell Richie that acting fine wasn’t going to solve anything. But then, he realized, Richie was going to face it at some point, and it wasn’t up to Eddie to decide when. Richie had to do that himself. So Eddie smiled instead, nodding.

“You’re paying,” Eddie said, smirking as he started to walk to the shop. Richie grinned and quickly followed, sighing dramatically.

“When do I not?”

 

_Saturday October 24 th, 2018 – 3: 45 P.M – 6744 Leading Rd 22029_

 

Eddie wasn’t exactly sure how it happened. After him and Richie had gotten ice cream, they were both ecstatic, giggling and talking as they walked on the sidewalks. They had talked for hours, until finally Eddie mentioned that he should be getting to his parent’s house. But as he was about to leave, Eddie suddenly turned around and invited Richie to come. Richie had been surprised, but obliged, curious to see where Eddie grew up.

So now, here they both were, on Eddie’s porch, about to ring the doorbell. Eddie was about to press it before Richie suddenly put a hand on his shoulder, getting his attention.

“Wait—are you sure you want me here?” Richie asked. “Like I don’t want to, you know, intrude at your family reunion—“

“Richie,” Eddie said with a soft smile. “Shut up.”

“Okay. Sorry.” Richie took a deep breath, combing up his hair with his long fingers, tucking some curls behind his ear. He dusted off his shirt and straightened his sleeves, scuffing at some dirt on the tips of his shoes.

Eddie watched him with an amused smile, turning fond at the sight. Richie looked up, confused at why he was staring.

“What?” he asked, straightening the collar of his shirt vigorously. Eddie bit back his smile and shook his head, turning back to the doorbell and ringing it. There was some shuffling behind the door, and a woman’s voice, before the door finally opened.

The woman at the door was tall and blonde, and she was sipping a smoothie through the straw in her hand. But when she saw Eddie, her eyes widened and she sputtered a little, coughing as she held the drink away.

Eddie’s own eyes widened, immediately grabbing the drink from her and stepping foreword.

“Oh my god, mom, are you okay?” he asked, giggling as she sputtered. His mother finally stopped and stood up straight again, holding him by the shoulders. She stared at his face, surprise and joy flooding her face.

“Baby! You’re here!” she said in a sweet, high voice. She pulled him in for a hug, tightly holding Eddie’s small frame against hers. Eddie hugged back, shutting his eyes momentarily at how much he missed her. His mom hugged him even tighter, making Eddie chuckle.

“Yeah, but I won’t be for much longer if you keep crushing me,” Eddie choked out, making his mom let go at once apologetically. She stared at him, bewildered.

“You—I—I don’t even know what to say!” she exclaimed. “I mean I didn’t know you were coming!”

“Yeah, I wanted to surprise you guys,” Eddie said, grinning.

She sighed contentedly, grabbing Eddie’s face in her hands. She kissed him on both cheeks.

“Aw, my baby looks so good! So handsome and gorgeous—“

Eddie’s cheeks flushed, and he huffed shyly, shrugging away from her hands. “Mom,” he whined, a little embarrassed. He glanced at Richie who was grinning at them happily. Eddie’s mother followed his eye and suddenly noticed Richie, who was awkwardly standing at the door frame.

“Oh hello!” she greeted him. “Who is this fine, young man?” she asked, looking Richie up and down once. Richie smiled and stuck his hand out, his shoulders broad and straight.

“Hello, ma’am. My name is Richie Tozier, I’m an acquaintance of Eddie’s. It’s such a pleasure to meet you,” he said, his voice clear and genuine. “And may I just say, your home is beautiful, as well as you!”

Eddie’s mother raised her eyebrow, shaking his hand and pulling him foreword so she could shut the door behind him. Eddie gave Richie a weird look after he spoke, but Richie ignored it, smiling happily at his mother.

“Why, thank you, Richie! Such a gentleman! I like you already,” she winked, glancing at Eddie and grinning. “Are you guys hungry? Dad just made popcorn chicken!” she told Eddie, taking off his backpack for him and setting it down on the couch. She turned to Richie.

“Both of you—come and eat, and then we can talk!” she said excitedly, motioning for them to follow as she rushed to the kitchen.

Eddie looked at Richie, giggling at him. “That was the most extra you’ve ever been. Seriously. I was surprised you didn’t throw on a British accent.”

Richie huffed defensively. “Well, I want your mom to like me!”

“I’m pretty sure she’d like you even if you didn’t act like the Pope.”

Richie grinned, mumbling out a ‘whatever’, and fixed his collar once more. He looked around the house as they both walked through the hallway. Eddie’s house was really big, almost could have been a mansion. The ceilings were extremely high and painted with murals, and hung massive golden chandeliers. There were paintings scattered throughout the walls, and expensive furniture was positioned at every corner. A large TV hung from the wall, with large comfortable couches in front of it. The sunroom had a large pool table in the center, and the walls had lit fairy lights hanging from the tops. Richie ogled at all of this as he walked to the kitchen.

“Whoa,” he said. “When you told me you lived in the richer part of Derry, I didn’t realize you meant, like, ‘ _rich_ er’ richer.”

Eddie looked at him, amused at the way Richie’s jaw was dropped, fascination and shock flooding through his face. Eddie stared for longer than he would care to admit. But suddenly, he heard his dad’s voice.

“Edward? Oh my god, Edward! You’re here!”

Eddie shut his eyes and flared his nostrils once, hearing Richie suddenly crack out a laugh. Eddie glared at him and turned around, seeing his father walk towards him with open arms.

“Dad! How many times do I have to tell you—it’s Eddie! Not Edward!” Eddie whined as he hugged his dad, cherishing the warmth of his embrace.

“Oh, nonsense! Edward is a fine name, and you’ll be happy to own it!” His dad laughed and hugged him once more before backing away, noticing Richie beside him.

“Who’s this?” he asked kindly, reaching out his hand to Richie. Richie opened his mouth, but Eddie beat him to it, seeing Richie preparing to say his proper introduction again.

“That’s Richie—he’s my friend,” Eddie said. He heard plates being settled on the kitchen table, and sure enough, his mother was calling all of them to the table.

“Ben! Eddie’s here!” his mother yelled at upstairs. Richie looked at the long swirly stairs, and had to bend his neck to look up at the upper level of the house. Eddie’s mom called him again, but there was no answer. She sighed, wiping her hands on a tissue, shaking her head at Eddie.

“I’m seriously thinking of taking away those headphones of his, at this point,” she said, making Eddie laugh.

“Don’t worry, I’ll go up and get him,” Eddie said. Eddie’s mother nodded and told Richie to sit down, placing a plate of popcorn chicken in front of him. She sat next to him, immediately asking about him. Eddie smiled and turned around, heading up the stairs.

When he reached Ben’s room, he slowly opened it, seeing Ben on his stomach, phone in his hands and earphones plugged in his ears, the soft beat of the music loud enough for Eddie to hear. Eddie smiled at the sight, happy that he was finally seeing him after what felt like so long.

He tapped him on the shoulder, and Ben jumped a little, but when he saw Eddie, his eyes widened. He threw off his headphones in one motion and got up, pulling him in immedietly.

“Eddie! What—how’re you here!” Ben said as he pulled back to look at Eddie with amazed eyes.

“I just missed you guys, and this girl offered to give me a free ride, so,” Eddie explained as he hugged Ben once more. Ben looked the same as before—his pale skin, fair brown hair, the creases by his eyes as he smiled. He looked bigger too, more fit. Eddie remembered his mom saying how Ben practically lived at the gym now.

“Hey,” Ben said, putting a hand on Eddie’s arm. “You’re okay, right?”

Eddie bit his lip, nodding. The last time he and Ben talked, Eddie had told him that he’d cut off ties with Richie completely and was getting over him. That was true at the time, but now…

“Ben, um,” Eddie started, sitting them both down at the bed. “I’m fine, really—I’m better than I’ve been in weeks. “It’s just. Uh. Well you know that girl I mentioned—the one who gave me a ride?”

Ben nodded, confused as to where Eddie was going with this. Eddie paused, knowing that once he’d say the words, Ben would be furious with him.

“She, uh,” Eddie stared down at his fingers, fiddling with them. “ShedroveRichietooandwestartedtalkingandsonowhe’shere.”

The room was silent. Eddie stared at his fingers, suddenly very interested in his cuticles. Ben didn’t move or say anything for a whole minute.

“Did you just say… _Richie_ is here?” Ben finally asked, after deciphering what Eddie said.

Eddie didn’t look up, just nodded, a little guiltily.

“Eddie,” Ben started, and Eddie could already tell he was getting mad. “The same Richie who lied to you and _used_ you for a laugh? _That_ Richie? You seriously bought him here?”

Eddie shook his head quickly, looking up to see Ben’s nose flared in anger. “No—you don’t understand, okay? He seems like he’s really sorry and he has a reason—“

“I don’t fucking care if he had a reason!” Ben snapped. “He _did_ it—nothing can justify that! Are you seriously that stupid, Eddie? Do you not remember our phone call, and how you broke down for days? Do you remember none of that?”

Eddie pouted and looked down, hating that Ben was mad at him. “No, I…I do, it’s just. He looked really sorry—and his mom died too! He’s hurting too and I just. I feel like he’s paid enough for what he did to me. I’m sorry, but don’t be mad at me,” Eddie murmured, getting all of his words out in a rush.

He heard Ben sigh, and looked up to see Ben rubbing his eyes.

“You know he’s just going to hurt you again, right?” Ben said, his voice considerably softer. Eddie frowned a little.

“I’m—I’m not even thinking about getting back together with him!” he said defensively, crossing his arms. “I don’t even want to, anyway. We’re just. We’re just friends.”

Ben stared at him, not saying anything for a moment.

“So what his dumbass reason, anyway?” Ben asked, frowning.

Eddie smiled nervously. “Oh. Uh. Well, the thing is—he hasn’t actually told me yet—“

Ben scoffed, getting up from the bed.

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.”

Eddie got up as well, immedietly shaking his head. “No it’s not—it’s ‘cause I haven’t really asked yet! I mean, his _mother_ died, I don’t want to make it all about me!”

Ben shook his head. “The fact that he hasn’t told you by now just shows that whatever his reason was, it’s bullshit, and he’s just dragging it out so you have more time to forgive him.”

Eddie frowned, shaking his head. “No, that’s not true! He was going to tell me at dinner, but Bev interrupted—“

“Dinner? So you’ve already been on a date with him, then?” Ben cut him off, hands crossed on his chest.

“No! Ugh, Ben—you’re taking everything out of context! Just,” Eddie sighed exasperatingly, looking at the door. “Just come downstairs, and after we eat, I’ll explain what happened, alright?”

Eddie’s phone suddenly buzzed in his pocket, and he quickly took it out to turn it off from whatever notification it was. But Ben followed his movement and his eyes widened at the sight of his new phone.

“Is that—“ Ben suddenly understood, but then Eddie realized how bad it looked.

“He bought that for you, didn’t he? As a bribe?” Ben said, shaking his head disbelievingly. Eddie couldn’t believe how bad this all looked.

“No—well, yes—but this was before he—“

“Eddie, I don’t want to hear it. You said he’s here, right? Downstairs? Well, let’s go then. I have a few things I’d like to say to him.”

Ben suddenly strode to the door, making his way downstairs. Eddie’s heart pounded as he realized that Ben was going to make a scene. He ran over to Ben quickly, standing in front of him and stopping him with panicked eyes.

“Stop! Don’t do this! Please—don’t do this right now!” Eddie pleaded, but Ben tried walking past him regardless. “Ben please! If you love me, you won’t do this!”

That seemed to get Ben’s attention, and he stopped trying to get past him. His jaw was clenched, and his nostrils flared once, but his eyes softened a little.

“Eddie, I’m doing this _because_ I love you,” Ben said, moving his hands gently from his shoulders and trying to walk past him again, but Eddie moved in front of him.

“And what will this do? You’re just going to make a scene for no reason, Mom and Dad will be confused—just wait until after, alright? I _promise_ I’ll explain everything, and it’s not what you think!”

Ben paused, peering into Eddie’s eyes carefully before opening his mouth. But Eddie’s mother interrupted him, coming from downstairs.

“Ben? Eddie? What are you guys still doing up there—come down!” she said, her head poking out of the kitchen.

Ben looked at her and gave a tight smile, glancing at Eddie once more, who raised his eyebrows warningly.

“Please don’t make a scene,” he whispered with pleading eyes, and then took Ben’s hand, bringing them both downstairs. Ben followed quietly, not saying anything down the stairs.

“Ben!” Eddie’s dad said, reaching a hand out to him. He motioned to Richie, who saw Ben and stood immediately, fixing his collar again. Eddie would have rolled his eyes at that, but he was too worried about what Ben was going to do.

“This is Richie Tozier—he was just telling me he also went to that internship you went to last summer, you know—the one with NASA?” Eddie’s dad motioned toward Richie, who smiled at Ben and stuck his hand out.

Ben glared at him for a moment, but Eddie cleared his throat loudly, making Ben glance at him. His features went soft again, and he looked back at Richie, quickly shaking his hand.

“Really?” Ben said to his dad, avoiding Richie’s eye. “That’s great.”

Eddie saw Richie fidget nervously with his fingers for a moment, looking like he was trying to think of something to say.

“Oh um,” Richie said to Ben, his voice friendly. “Eddie told me you’re skate—like me?”

It was an obvious attempt to strike up a conversation, but Ben looked at him with cold eyes.

“Yeah, ‘cause when Eddie tells you something, it’s actually the truth.”

Richie blinked, his face faltering as his shoulders dropped a little. But he smiled, giving a short nod.

“You’re right, it is,” he said, glancing at Eddie with a small smile. But Eddie could see the guilt in his eyes, the way he looked down afterwards, not being able to say anything else.

Eddie’s heart ached a little, and then his mom started to put out plates, ranting about the new flowers she put out in the garden. Eddie grabbed a plate and put a handful of the popcorn chicken, and then sat on the chair beside Richie, pulling his arm down slightly to get him to sit down. Richie followed like an obedient puppy, and Eddie pushed the plate towards him, motioning for him to eat.

He could feel Ben glaring at him, but Eddie ignored him, feeling angry at how Ben was acting. Of course, he knew why he was acting this way, and he knew that technically, Eddie was the one in the wrong here. Bringing Richie to his house days after promising Ben he’d cut him off completely. But. But it wasn’t his fault that Richie had come in the car ride, so. Eddie pushed his thoughts away and shared the plate of chicken with Richie, the two of them conversing with Eddie’s parents.

After they had finished eating, Eddie told his parents that he wanted to freshen up, and he quickly pulled Richie’s arm, dragging him upstairs with him. Richie let himself be pulled, chuckling a little at Eddie’s eagerness. But Eddie was eager to talk to Richie alone because he knew Ben would follow after a couple of moments and confront Richie, and he wanted to prepare him.

Once they were in Eddie’s room, Eddie closed and locked the door, letting Richie inside to marvel at his bedroom.

“Whoa,” Richie gasped, looking around the spacious room, the large wall window in front of him. “This is so coo—“

“Ben knows,” Eddie interrupted, reaching out to pull Richie’s arm again, turning him to be face to face. “I—I told him what you…what you did to me, and everything that happened. And he’s really mad and he’s going to want to confront you, but don’t worry, I can get him to calm down.”

Richie listened, and then looked down, a small smile on his lips. He looked at Eddie, staring at his face for a moment before taking the smallest of steps toward him. He probably wanted it to go unnoticed, but Eddie noticed, and he didn’t move away.

“Yeah, I. I kind of figured,” Richie said, and Eddie knew he was talking about what happened in the kitchen. “I just thought that…you’d be on _his_ side, not mine.”

Eddie opened his mouth, but nothing came out. He stared wordlessly at him, watching the way Richie’s eyes twinkled in interest. Eddie didn’t say anything, so Richie spoke again.

"So, I mean. Why… _are_ you on my side?” Richie asked gently, again, taking another small step towards Eddie, this time making it more obvious than last time. Eddie blinked, having to tilt his head back completely to look up at Richie. He took a small step backwards to feel the back of his knees hit the foot of the bed, and his knees buckled just a little bit before he stood firmly, not breaking eye contact with Richie. Suddenly the room felt very hot.

Richie took another step, a larger one this time, and Eddie felt his cheeks go hot. He opened his mouth, but again, nothing came out. _Why can’t I talk? What’s happening?_ Eddie gulped and licked his lips, and saw Richie’s eyes follow the movement. Richie licked his own lips too, and took the last step possible, towering over Eddie and leaving only centimeters of space between them.

“I,” Eddie started, finally remembering how to use his voice.

“You what?” Richie taunted, a playful smile on his face. He bent down a little, his eyes seemingly glued onto Eddie’s lips. Eddie noticed this, but he couldn’t help but start to go on his tip toes.

Suddenly, the sound of his bedroom door opening made them both jump apart, and Eddie’s head whipped towards Ben, who stood at their door frame. He looked angry, his fists clenched and his nostrils flared, and he glared at Richie.

“Ben—“ Eddie warned, already stepping in front of Richie.

“You better start talking,” Ben snarled at Richie as he closed the door behind him and advanced to where he was standing. “Eddie promised me you had an explanation for that fucked up thing you did, so I want to hear it. Right now.”

Ben tried coming closer to Richie, but Eddie stood in his way, putting his hands on Ben’s shoulders, trying to calm him down.

“Ben, just please—“ Eddie tried again, but he was cut off.

“No, Eddie! You said he had a reason—like that will fix anything—but still, I want to hear it! He probably doesn’t even have one is just lying to you, and as usual, you’re buying into it like the idiot that you are.”

Eddie opened his mouth to calm him down, but then Richie started to move towards Ben too.

“Don’t fucking talk to him like that,” Richie said, not too harsh, but a loud warning in his voice.

Eddie saw Ben’s eyes widen, and he knew he had to do something quick before this became a bigger mess.

“Okay!” He yelled, getting both of their attentions. “Richie will tell us, okay? Right now,” he said to Ben, who huffed a little, but glared at Richie, waiting.

Eddie turned around to face Richie, who was still staring at Ben with hard eyes. Eddie took his hand, holding his palm gently. The action made Richie immediately look down to him, and his eyes softened.

“I want to know now,” Eddie said to him, in a quiet voice. “What the reason was. Why you did the bet in the first place.”

Richie nodded, squeezing his hand and taking it in his own.

“Of course. I wanted to tell you earlier, but you know…although I guess now is a better time anyway. Alright,” Richie took a deep breath, and Eddie felt his heart thump in his chest.

“Eddie, I kne—“

“Wait!” Eddie suddenly shouted, making Richie and Ben both jump. Richie stopped talking and looked at him worriedly.

“What? What is it?” Ben asked, scanning Eddie’s face for any signs of pain.

Eddie turned to Ben. “I want him to tell me alone first. And then I’ll tell you after, okay? I promise. Just…it feels awkward with you here too.”

Ben frowned, but he nodded afterwards. “Fine. But you are telling me later,” Ben cautioned, and he gave Richie one last look—or glare, before walking out of the room and closing the door.

Eddie turned to Richie, motioning for him to continue.

“I’m listening,” he said. Richie nodded.

“By the way—I just want you to know that I don’t expect you to forgive me after, I’m only telling you because…because you want to know, and I’m not expecting you to understand or anything.”

Eddie nodded, letting Richie continue. Richie sat down at the edge of the bed, and Eddie did the same, their legs hanging off to the side as they faced each other.

“Eddie,” Richie said again. “We’ve met before college. And we knew each other in Derry.”

Eddie blinked, the room becoming extremely quiet. He made a confused face, his eyebrows knit together.

“I think I would remember—“

“But you don’t remember—I know. And that’s not your fault, it’s your mother’s.”

If Eddie wasn’t confused before, he sure as fuck was confused now.

“What the fuck are you even talki—“

Richie sighed, taking Eddie’s hand in his again. “I’ll explain, alright? Just don’t talk until I finish. It’ll all make sense, I promise.”

Eddie frowned, but nodded, letting Richie rub into the skin in his hand.

“Remember how I said my foster parents used to beat me?” Richie asked, and Eddie nodded after a moment, remembering that conversation. “And how I’d spend most of my time in the hospital?”

Eddie sat still, suddenly wondering if…

“Yeah, well. Those times I was in the hospital, you were too. In fact, we were roommates.”

Eddie didn’t say anything. Partly because he was listening to Richie’s orders about staying quiet, but also because he was confused. Wouldn’t he remember his own hospital roommate?

“We talked a lot,” Richie continued. “I mean, at first it was just you. You would tell me about your mom, and how your life was at home. And about your dad—how he drowned in that river.”

Eddie’s heart thumped again. He had never told anyone about his dad. Not even Bill, or Stan—he didn’t tell anyone that could have possibly told Richie, so the fact that Richie knows how his dad died, proved that he was telling the truth. Eddie shifted where he sat, criss-crossing his legs and giving his full attention. He knew Richie was telling the truth, so why didn’t he remember all of this?

“You told me all of this personal stuff, even from when we had just met on that first day. I was iffy about doing the same. At first, I would just stay quiet and listen to you talk, hour after hour. But…but after a few days, I started to talk too. I told you about why I was in the hospital. And about my family. I told you a lot of stuff about me—stuff that I had never told anyone else. And you listened.”

“And I loved talking to you because,” Richie paused, trying to find the words. “Because when you listened, you really _listened_ , you know? Everyone else, they hear what you say, but no one listens. You did. I could tell. I could tell you weren’t distracted or thinking of what you should say next, or what advice you should give me. I could tell that nothing else was on your mind when you listened, and that you actually…you actually cared.”

“And I never had that. I never had anyone care about me. So talking to you was…the best feeling in the world. Because I knew that I was talking to someone who actually listened and cared. So I would talk even more. Every day, from when we woke up, I would just talk to you, and you’d do the same. We became friends, and we talked about everything—our pasts, what would happen in the future, our goals, our worries, our hopes and desires.”

Richie paused, taking a deep breath. Eddie’s eyes began to water a little, and he had no idea why. Richie was telling him all of this stuff that he didn’t remember, but for some reason, it sounded familiar. Like some part of his brain was struggling to bring these memories back. Everything Richie was saying, he didn’t remember, but it just felt familiar.

“Your mom—your biological mom—used to take you out of the hospitals on the weekends, so when she did, I was alone. The first time you left on the weekend after we met, I thought it wouldn’t be too bad. But it was. You not being there was torture for me. I wanted to see your face, I wanted to hear your voice, so _so_ bad, that whole weekend, I was so fucking depressed, and I had no idea why. I had no idea why I was missing this small, talkative and annoying little boy who I had just known for four days.”

Eddie huffed and made an offended noise at the last statement, making Richie chuckle. “Come on, you _know_ you can get annoying sometimes,” he smiled fondly. “But I think that only made me like you more.”

“Anyway, when you came back on Monday, I was so happy, but my bones had healed, so I had to leave the hospital. But I hated that. I hated that I had to leave—leave you. So that Monday, when I left, I came home and I just missed you so much that I. I’d provoke him.”

Eddie frowned. “What? Who?”

“My foster father. He’d only hit me when he was drunk or when he was angry, but after I came home, I provoked him again and again until he beat me bad enough to go to the hospital. Because I wanted to see you again.”

Eddie stared at him.

“You couldn’t just visit?” he asked, flabbergasted. “You had to fucking break your bones to see me?”

Richie huffed, a small smile on his face. “Well—at that time, I didn’t want to admit to myself that I wanted to see you again, so I’d just pretend like I _had_ to go to the hospital by getting him to beat me up. I know it’s crazy, but…I had never missed someone as much I missed you that week.”

“Anyway, I went back to the hospital, and I remember you were worried. Like, really worried. And since you were able to walk and get up—unlike me, you’d help me a lot.”

Eddie shifted a little closer. “Help how?” he whispered, again feeling like this was all familiar, but he just didn’t remember.

Richie looked down at his fingers, and Eddie wondered if that was really a small blush on his cheeks that he was seeing.

“Just um. Just like you’d come to my bed and sit by me. Or you’d feed me my food and help me drink my water. Stuff like that…along with comforting me. You’d hold my hand, and tell me stories so I could fall asleep. Just little things like that,” Richie said, a small, fond smile on his lips. “But those little things. It was everything to me.”

Richie avoided his eye, and kind of shrunk his shoulders, like suddenly he was feeling shy.

“Because while you were kind, you were also really blunt. You’d scold me about the things I would do—using the drugs, ignoring my mother, getting in fights at school, as well as starting fights at home. You weren’t afraid to yell at me, and say these hurtful, yet true things that I needed to hear. After a while, I realized you were doing it because you cared about me. For the first time in my life, someone _cared_ about me. Everyone else—my mother, my dad, my foster parents, my friends—they didn’t care about me, not really. For fuck’s sake—my parents encouraged me to get pills, for me and them, like the only way we could bond was by fucking getting high and drunk. And my friends, they were the ones who always got me into trouble. Whether it was convincing me to start a fight, or doing illegal shit—they didn’t care.”

Richie paused. “But you. I could see it your eyes. Whenever I’d come in the hospital with fresh bruises and cuts, I could see the _pain_ in your eyes. Like you were just as hurt as I was. And the second the nurses left us alone, you’d hurry over to my bed and take care of me. And maybe it was because I liked feeling like I was loved, or maybe it was because I only felt really _alive_ when I was with you, but I purposely kept getting hurt, so I could come back to you.”

Richie sighed softly, looking up at Eddie’s shining eyes.

“But one week, when I came back to the hospital, you weren’t in your bed. I was confused, because your nametag was still there, as well as your stuff. But then our nurse had told me that you were having surgery—getting your appendix out.”

Eddie’s hand went to his lower right abdomen, his fingers rubbing over the area where he knew there was a faintly visible scar from his appendectomy. He didn’t really need any more confirmation that Richie was telling the truth, but if he did, this would’ve been it. Eddie felt a tear slipping down his cheek, a combination of feeling frustrated at not being able to remember and feeling sad that he didn’t remember the first time he met Richie.

Richie scooted closer so he could wipe away Eddie’s tears, his hands covering Eddie’s puffy cheeks.

“When you came back to our room, I was already out of the hospital. I’d healed—unfortunately. But when I heard that you were out of your surgery, I rushed over to see you. At that time, I had finally admitted to myself that I really cared about you, and that I wanted to see you, so I didn’t wait for my step dad to come home—I just ran. I ran to the hospital and asked for you at the front desk. But when the lady came back, she said that you didn’t know a ‘Richie’, and that you were only open to visiting family or friends, like your mom allowed.”

Eddie suddenly remembered after the surgery. He had no idea what happened before, but after he woke up, his mother had told him that he’d gotten his appendix out, and his doctor said that the anesthetics had caused a ‘prolonged memory loss’, and that he wouldn’t remember the past few weeks. He had been assured that it wasn’t a big deal, and that nothing important could have possibly happened in the past few weeks at the hospital.

“I realized that you had forgotten me,” Richie continued, his voice breaking just slightly. Eddie quickly shook his head, grabbing Richie’s hand.           

“No! I remember now—my doctor said the anesthetics—“ Eddie started, but Richie nodded and calmed him down, placing a hand on top of his his.

“I know—it was the prolonged memory loss. I bothered your doctor into telling me after the lady at the front desk had told me you didn’t know me. I knew there had to be a reason.”

Eddie blinked at his eyes again, trying to get them to clear up. He held Richie’s hands, rubbing the calloused skin gently.

“But even after finding out the reason, I…I was angry. I became mad at you for forgetting me. And I know—I know, Eddie, that it wasn’t your fault at all. The doctors said that it was impossible to remember anything with a surgery produced memory loss. But at the time, I didn’t care. I was just so hurt that you, of all people in my life, had just forgotten me. So I never came back. I never visited you or even walked by your neighborhood. I just. I just tried forgetting you. That year, I got expelled from school, but Henry’s dad got me a job. But the conditions for that job was to attend college. At least just the four years. So I did. I applied to the same colleges as Henry did, and we both got into Ridell.”

Eddie listened intently, perking up at the sound of his university. He wondered where this was going.

“On the first day—in Calculus, I saw you and immediately recognized you. You hadn’t really changed from the last time I saw you,” Richie smiled a little and gently pinched one of Eddie’s wet cheeks. “Still got that same cute, baby face.”

Eddie made a face and shooed Richie’s hand away, feeling warmth spread to where Richie touched. He bit his lip, looking down once shyly.

“I sat next to you, and I asked you for a pencil,” Richie continued. “I didn’t need one, but I asked just to see if maybe you remembered me too. I thought that maybe after a few years you’d get your memory back, and you’d remember more. Like the important things. Important people. But when you looked at me, it was obvious you didn’t recognize me. And Eds—it’s not your fault, I know that. But that first week, I was…I was just so mad and hurt that you _still_ didn’t remember. I felt like it was so, so unfair that after all these years, I still remembered you every day, fell asleep to your face everyday, heard your voice every, single, fucking day. And you didn’t even remember me.”

“So I…I was annoyed with you, and I ranted to…Henry, about it,” Richie cleared his throat and looked down. “I didn’t tell him that we met before or anything, just that you were in my class and you just pissed me off for some reason. Anyway, Henry listened to me bitch about you, and he actually remembered you. Not completely, just that you were homeschooled and always sick. One day, after our class, Henry was waiting outside for me, and when I got out, he made me point you out to him. When he saw you, he…uh.”

Richie gulped, suddenly growing very quiet. He seemed ashamed, avoiding Eddie’s eye. Eddie took a deep breath. He squeezed Richie’s hand gently.

“What? It’s okay, just tell me,” Eddie said, getting more curious.

Richie paused for a second.

"Look, he just talked about how, um, easy…you looked, and that he could…have ‘fun’ with you. But I immediately told him that he was wrong, and I knew that you weren’t that kind of a person. But he said that he could easily get you to sleep with him, and that he’d break up with you right after. And he said that he’d do it for me. Because he knew that I hated you—at the time. Right when we were about to make the bet, I decided I wanted to do it. I wanted to be the one to…to hurt you.”

Eddie felt a tear run down his cheek, and he quickly wiped it away, his big, brown, watering eyes staring at Richie, making the other boy grimace in pain and guilt.

“At the time, I was just so mad at you, all I wanted to do was hurt you. Like you hurt me. So I spent the next weeks thinking of ways to talk to you. I could tell that you kept to yourself, and you only spoke to people when it was absolutely necessary. I noticed the times in class where guys have tried to talk to you, and you shot them down easily or ignored them. I knew that if I wanted you to notice me, I’d have to have a different approach. So I…that first night we met, when I was, um, ‘sleeping’? I wasn’t. I was just pretending, so that I could fluster you, I guess. Get your attention and have you interested in me because you’d never experienced anything like that. And it did—get your attention. That night, when you let me walk with you, I realized I was getting somewhere with you.”

“It started out as me just wanting to break your heart, and hurt you so that it could finally be _fair._ But while we talked, I realized how much I missed you, and I loved every moment we spent together. Henry would ask me how it was going every day, but I didn’t tell him much. He’d assumed that I was getting nowhere with you. That day—when we ran into Henry by the mall? So when he saw us, that’s why he said all those things.”

Eddie nodded slowly, remembering Henry’s words. _Damn, Tozier. I don’t know why I ever doubted you._

“But after we ran into him, and that night when we first…um. Got intimate…right before you fell asleep, you had told me that playing with someone’s feelings was cruel, and that you would never forgive someone who did that. I couldn’t sleep that night. I had just stayed awake, replaying your words in my head. For some reason, it was only then I realized what I was doing. What, horrible, _cruel_ thing I was doing to an innocent person. But I still didn’t want to admit it. The next day, Henry had texted me saying that time was running out, and that if I wanted to sleep with you, it had to be that day. I pushed my guilty conscience away, and I went back to your dorm with you anyway, trying to keep telling myself of how much you hurt me. I wanted revenge, after all. But after we’d slept together, I realized that this was the end of the bet, and that I’d have to break up with you the next day. I stayed up that night, realizing that I couldn’t do it. In the morning, I went to Henry, and told him that the whole, sick game was off. And that I couldn’t hurt you like that.”

Eddie blinked, realizing that the morning when he had read the texts, Richie had come back from Henry’s place. He remembered what he said. “ _I just realized something, and I had to tell Henry before…before someone got hurt.”_

“But Henry didn’t get it. He knew that I had done way worse before, so he was confused as to why I couldn’t do this. I was turning around to leave, but then he said…he just made a comment about you that wasn’t true at all. So I turned around and started yelling at him, saying hurtful things—things that I knew really hurt him. He was so dumbfounded, so speechless that I had lashed out at _him,_ my best friend since kindergarten. So I turned around and left—back to you, your dorm. But I guess after I’d left to get breakfast, my words had finally clicked in his head and he was angry, so he sent those texts, trying to provoke me I guess. He mentioned that he was going to tell you himself—about the bet. But he didn’t know that I was planning on telling you that day. I wanted to do it after breakfast. I was going to sit you down and tell you everything from the start—from Derry. And I was going to let you yell at me, beat me, kick me out. Anything. I just. I just wanted to tell you myself, because you deserved to know the truth. But then, I left my phone and you…well. You know the rest.”

Eddie blinked, feeling his mind race with everything Richie told him. He stared down at the blanket, trying to process the information. It all made sense. Everything that Richie had told him, it correlated with whatever strange behavior he had at the time. Eddie blinked away at a few tears, not sure how to feel.

Richie stared at him the whole time he was quiet, a worried look on his face. When Eddie didn’t talk after a while, Richie sighed.

  “Look, Eddie—I said it before and I’ll say it again. What I did, there is _no_ excuse for it. I understand that it was an inhumane and sadistic thing to do, and no reasoning can justify it. And I’m taking full responsibility for my actions—it may have started with Henry, but it was ultimately _me._ At the time, I wanted to hurt you. Actually,” Richie suddenly paused. “No, that wasn’t really it. I think maybe I…I wanted to make you fall in love with me, because you made me fall in love with you first.”

Eddie looked up at him, inhaling sharply.

“Eddie,” Richie sighed. “I fell in love with you in Derry—all that time we spent together. And it probably wasn’t that much time, but. But it was enough. And when we met again this year, I fell in love with you all over again. Even more than before. And this time, I know what I want, and I’m not going to lie to myself anymore. I am in love with you, Eddie Kaspbrak. And I am so, _so,_ sorry for all the pain that I caused you. You didn’t deserve it—shit, no one does. And I know that you’ll probably never forgive me, but please…I just can’t stand the thought of you hating me.”           

Richie dropped his head, and Eddie saw a tear fall down to his hands. Richie sniffled once, and tried to hide his face from him.

Eddie’s heart broke at the sight, his own tears falling as he leaned in to hug Richie. Richie froze a little at the movement, but in a second, he wrapped his arms around Eddie’s waist, hugging him tighter.

“I don’t hate you, Rich. I never could, anyway,” Eddie said shakily, trying to figure out how to form the words in his racing mind. “What you told me…I understand. I get why you did what you did. Revenge, right? I get it.”

Richie pulled back, and shook his head. “Only at first. And I know it’s shitty but—“

“Hey,” Eddie smiled a little. “It’s okay, I know things changed, and I know you feel bad about it.”

Richie nodded eagerly. “Extremely. And I’m not looking for pity or forgiveness, I just—“

Eddie laughed a little, starting to stand up.

“Jesus, Richie. You’re starting to sound like a broken record.” He watched Richie blink, and then smile after a moment, almost hesitantly.

“So,” Richie said quietly, wiping at his eyes for a final time. “How mad are you? At me?”

Eddie looked down at him from where he stood, walking foreword until his knees hit Richie’s legs.

“After what you told me, I guess…not that mad,” Eddie revealed. If Richie hadn’t told him their history in Derry, he would never had gotten why Richie did what he did. But now. Now it all made sense. Richie was hurt, and he wanted to hurt back. And Eddie knows that Richie regrets it. He can see it in his eyes. The guilt, the pain—no one can fake that.

Eddie brings both hands up to card through Richie’s tangled hair, feeling the rough, curly strands. Richie shuts his eyes momentarily, and scoots closer to the edge of the bed, so Eddie is standing between his open legs.

“That doesn’t mean I forgive you, though,” Eddie said, moving his hand behind Richie’s head.

Richie’s expression went a little sad, but he quickly wiped it off and gave a small, understanding smile, nodding. For some reason, Eddie felt bad.

“For now, anyway,” Eddie continued awkwardly. “I don’t know. I might…change my mind later on.”

Richie’s face lit up, and he looked up at Eddie with hopeful eyes.

“Yeah?” he said, trying to hide his happiness and failing awfully. Eddie felt his heart skip a beat at the sight. He smiled.

“Yeah,” he whispered back, pulling some of Richie’s hair gently. Richie’s breath hitched, and he quickly placed his hands on Eddie’s hips, squeezing his love handles. Eddie squeaked, making Richie laugh fondly.

“God, I’ve missed that.”

He says it with so much…love, that Eddie can’t fight the blush that settles on his cheeks. Richie suddenly stands up, making Eddie jump at the movement. Eddie’s hands fall down by Richie’s shoulders, and he hooks his hands behind his neck. He doesn’t really know why, can’t even think, really. Being this close to Richie makes his brain become mush.

Richie’s hands tighten around Eddie’s waist, pulling him closer. Eddie’s heart starts thumping in his ears again, and he can’t do anything but let Richie pull him in.

“I missed you,” Richie whispered, his eyes fixating on Eddie’s lips. “The last two weeks—I missed you so fucking much. I saw you everywhere, I heard you everywhere. And I couldn’t stand that it wasn’t actually you. I couldn’t—“

Richie suddenly grabbed Eddie’s hair, making him tilt his head up so he could look at him better. Eddie gasped out his name, feeling his knees wobble a little.

“I love you,” Richie breathed out. “So much that it fucking hurts.”

Before Eddie could open his mouth—or before Richie could lean down to kiss him, for that matter, the door suddenly opened, Ben behind it with an awkward face.

“Alright—Eddie, get out.”

Eddie turned to him, his hands dropping down and feeling hot in his face.

“What?” he said, bewildered, his heart still racing. Ben cleared his throat.

“Well—I couldn’t help but hear the whole story—“

Eddie rolled his eyes, a small smile on his lips. “You mean eavesdrop.”

Ben huffed, crossing his arms defensively. “We have thin walls! Anyway, I. I’d like to talk to Richie. Alone.”

Eddie narrowed his eyes, suddenly feeling very protective of Richie.

“No, you’re—“

Richie stepped away from him, squeezing Eddie’s hip gently.

“It’s okay,” Richie told him, smiling. Eddie looked at him, his eyebrows still knit together. Ben spoke again.

“I won’t do anything,” Ben assured him. “I just want to talk. And I promise—I’ll be nice.”

Eddie stopped frowning, but gave Ben a look. He walked up to him, looking for any signs of anger in his eyes.

“He was telling the truth,” Eddie says, with a serious expression, letting Ben know. He opened his mouth to prove his statement, but Ben gave him a small smile.

“I know,” he said quietly.

Eddie blinked, not sure what to say. Ben opened the door wider, motioning for him to go out.

Eddie looked at Richie one last time, who gave an encouraging smile, silently telling him, _I’ll be fine._ Eddie sighed and gave Ben a warning look, before walking out the room. Ben slowly closed it behind him.

Eddie stood awkwardly in front of the closed door, playing with his fingers nervously. What did Ben want to talk about? What if he was going to threaten Richie? Or—

“Eddie! What’re you doing?”

Eddie turned around to his mother’s voice, and he shook his head.

“Uh—Ben just wanted to talk to Richie alone for a moment.” Eddie crossed his arms, and leaned his back against the wall next to the door.

His mom nodded, glancing at the closed door. She walked next to Eddie and leaned on the wall with him. A silent minute passed before she finally look at his side profile.

“So, uh. Richie,” she said.

Eddie didn’t look at her, only looked down at his feet.

“Yeah.”           

It was silent again, and then his mother laughed a little, elbowing him gently. Eddie looked at her after regaining his balance.

“What?” Eddie huffed, red on his cheeks.

“Are you guys dating?” she asked, a subtle smirk on her face. Eddie dropped his jaw, gasping dramatically.

“What—Mom! How—no, I—we’re just friends!” Eddie squeaked out. He was fully blushing now, and his mother giggling at him only made it worse.

“Oh please! I saw the way you looked at each other!” she exclaimed. Eddie frowned.

“What? What do you mean? How do we look at each other?” he asked, half disbelieving, half curious.

His mother looked up at the ceiling, a dreamy look on her face. 

“You know,” she started, looking at him with a raised eyebrow. “That look between ‘you are the cutest person alive’ and ‘I wanna rip your clothes off and—“

Mom!” Eddie screamed, a giggle coming out of his throat as he did so. His mother held up her hands in defense and shrugged.

“You asked! And it’s true, by the way,” she said smugly. They laughed for a few more minutes, and the hallway went quiet again. Eddie heard her clear her throat.

“Seriously though,” she said, turning her body to face him. “I like him. He seems like a nice guy. Is he?”

Eddie immedietly nodded. “Yes. He, uh. He makes mistakes, but he’s genuinely a good guy.”

His mom frowned a little. “Oh yeah? What kind of mistakes?” She looked at him, interested.

Eddie stared at her, not really sure what to say. He took a deep breath.

“Oh—you know. Just like…I don’t know, mom, it’s hard to explain,” Eddie sighed and ran a hand through his hair, hoping she wouldn’t ask him again. How else was he supposed to tell her that Richie slept with her son to win a bet against his friends? He knew that if he told her that, there was no way Eddie’d be able to convince her that Richie was actually a good guy, even if he told her the reason why.

“Okay, well...” she trailed off, sounding a little confused. “Is he still making those mistakes?”

Eddie immediately shook his head. “No. Not anymore. He told me what happened and I know he’s telling the truth. Trust me, he’s changed. He’s a good guy, mom.”

His mother nodded, looking a bit lost at the information, but trusting nonetheless.

“I believe you,” she said, ruffling the top of his hair affectionately. “I mean, for Christ’s sake, the guy’s acting like the Pope in front of me!”

“That’s what I said!” Eddie laughed, making his mom chuckle. Just then, the bedroom door opened, and Ben came out.

Eddie immediately looked at him, for any signs of anger in his face. But he was calm. Serious and stern, but calm.

Richie came out after him, and Eddie immediately walked closer to him, looking up at him carefully.

“You okay?” he asked quietly, looking worried.

Richie smiled at him, and his hand twitched a little, as if he were going to touch him, but then he saw Eddie’s mom there too, and he stood up a little straighter, nodding surely.

It was a little awkward then, nobody saying anything in the hallway where all of them just stood in front of each other. Eddie gave his mom a look, his eyes pleading her to go away. She formed an ‘o’ with her mouth a second later, finally understanding.

“Alright! Well, I guess we’ll just…go,” she said cheerily, grabbing Ben’s arm. Ben gave one last look at Richie, and Eddie was surprised to see that it wasn’t a threatening one.

Once they left, Eddie immediately turned to face Richie.“What’d he say?” he asked curiously, glancing at the inside of his room.

Richie shook his head, running a hand through his hair.

“Nothing much, just uh. Just things someone like me should hear, you know.”

Eddie frowned, confused. “What? What do you mean, ‘someone like you’?”

Richie paused, a nervous smile on his face. “Fuck, Eds—you’re really gonna make me spell it out for you. He basically told me not to hurt you again, and that if I did he was going to personally hunt me down and kill me. You know, the ‘protective big brother’ talk.”

Eddie blinked, feeling a little stupid that he couldn’t figure it out.

“Oh.”

“Yeah.”

Eddie bit his lip, not really sure what to say. Richie stood silent in front of him as well. Eddie knew they were both thinking, _that ‘big brother’ talk only happens if the two people are dating._

Eddie suddenly cleared his throat. He looked at the large clock hanging down by the stairs.

“Hey uh—it’s 6: 38. Shouldn’t we start getting ready to go to the burial?” Eddie realized. Richie blinked, and glanced at the clock too.

“Oh shit, yeah, we should.”

 

 

_Saturday October 24 th, 2018 –  7: 09 P.M – Derry Funeral Home, Sector 3_

By the time Eddie and Richie had arrived, the coffin was positioned by the hole in the ground, a hook attached to the top for carrying it in.

Richie had been in the middle of talking to Eddie when they were halfway in the graveyard, but when he saw the brown casket in the field, he trailed off and stopped walking. Eddie turned to him, seeing his face go a little pale.

“Hey,” Eddie said worriedly, walking back to him from where he stopped. “You alright?”

Richie didn’t respond at first, only stared at the coffin with wide eyes, frowning a little. The few helper men that were there motioned for the boys to come foreword, but Richie didn’t move.

“Richie,” Eddie whispered to him. When he didn’t get a reply, Eddie reached up and put his palm against Richie’s cheek, holding his face gently. He turned his face away from the coffin and made Richie look at him instead.

“Are you okay?” Eddie asked once Richie was looking at him. Richie blinked, seemingly out of his trance like state. He subconsciously leaned into Eddie’s hand, and nodded a little.

“Mr. Tozier?” one of the men waiting called out, making them both look back. Eddie dropped his hand and took Richie’s in his own, tugging gently to get Richie walking again. Richie went easily, but Eddie felt him squeezing his hand tighter as they got closer to the closed casket.

“Would you like to say anything before we start the burying?” one guy asked.

Richie immediately shook his head. “No, go ahead.”

Eddie looked up at him, feeling Richie’s hand loosen on his. He opened his mouth to ask, ‘are you sure’, or something to make Richie change his mind. But he closed it when he saw a cold look in his eyes. The coffin started to be lowered into the ground.  They both sat down at the bench near the area, and watched as they started to fill up the grave with dirt. Eddie looked at Richie, watched the way his jaw clenched. How his eyebrows were knit together as he watched the burying.

When Richie turned to look at him, Eddie looked down, staying quiet.

“Again with that look, huh.”

Eddie looked up. “What?”

Richie leaned back against the bench backboard. “With the pity. I told you, I don’t need it.”

Eddie paused. “It's not so much pity--more sympathy," he said. "It's your _mother_ in there."

Richie was silent for a moment.

“She was never a mother,” Richie said bitterly. “She ignored me my whole life. Always chose all the shitty men she fucked over me, no matter what. I remember coming home from school, and then seeing my room lent to her boyfriends and their ‘buddies’. She let them beat me, and then drug me up with whatever they bought for fun. To them, there was something funny about a first grader on coke. And she—she laughed. She had a good fucking time, sitting with her boyfriend and watching his friends shove needles in her seven year old son’s arms and push his head down on the table to sniff until his nose bled. And she laughed harder when they bought their knives out.”

Eddie froze in his seat, staring at Richie.

Richie looked down at his hands, pausing for a moment.

“I asked her why she let them once. Why she let her boyfriend do those things to me. And she looked me straight in the eye, and told me that it was because she loved him more than me.”

Eddie felt his eyes start to water, and he scooted closer to Richie, taking his hand.

“Richie…”

Richie sniffled, still looking down and avoiding his eye.

“And maybe I. I could have handled hearing that as a teenager. But I was ten. And you know, hearing that your own mother loves someone more than you can really mess you up. And it did mess me up. She’s the reason why I went fucking crazy—with the drugs, in juvie—everything. Everything was because of her. I hate her. I hate her so fucking much and I…”

Richie’s voice broke into a sob, and Eddie immediately hugged him before he could turn away.

“It’s okay,” Eddie whispered, holding onto him tight. Richie didn’t respond, and didn’t hug back, but sat there quietly crying. Eddie’s tears also fell, feeling Richie’s pain as if it was his own.

They both sat there, crying quietly while holding each other for a long time. Eddie didn’t say anything, besides the occasional reassurance to let Richie know that it was okay to cry. Eddie could tell he’d been bottling this up for a long time—with the way Richie’s body shook almost violently, and how he couldn’t stop crying. Eddie was relieved he was finally letting it out, and he rubbed his back every once in a while, feeling a sudden protectiveness come over him. Seeing him break down, Eddie realized that Richie wasn’t this heartless, cruel player. But really, he was just a damaged boy, still hurting from his horrific past.

Richie suddenly sniffled, and he pulled away from Eddie, rubbing his eyes and wiping away his tears on his cheeks.

“Sorry, I—“ Richie started to say, his voice all scratchy.

“Stop,” Eddie cut him off. “Don’t be sorry for anything.”

Richie smiled, laughing a little once he finished wiping his face.

“I don’t even know why I’m crying,” he said, a little embarrassed. He got up, running a hand through his hair. Eddie stood up as well.

“That’s okay,” Eddie said, knowing fully why he was crying. Richie would never admit it, but he loved his mother. “Sometimes it’s just good to cry. Even for no reason.”

Richie looked at him, his eyes going soft. He suddenly leaned down and hugged him again, this time really tight. Eddie immediately wrapped his arms around his middle, welcoming the sudden embrace.

“I love you,” Richie said after a moment. Eddie inhaled a little sharply, feeling his heart skip a beat.

“You don’t have to say anything back, I just…I love you, and I wanted to say it. Again,” he finished. Eddie took a deep breath, hugging him back as his eyes shut momentarily.

Eddie knew he felt the same, but he wasn’t ready to acknowledge that just yet. He needed time, he needed to take it slow. If something were to ever happen with Richie, it’d have to be much later. Not because he was still mad, but because he knew that he was falling hard for Richie. Like—falling from the top of a building that was thousands of feet high, and with each second he was dropping down faster.

“Should I not have said that?” Richie suddenly asked, pulling away from the hug. “I’m sorry, I just—“

Eddie shook his head. “No! I’m not—I’m not mad. I...you know what, let’s just talk about it when we go back to school, yeah?”

Richie paused. “Talk about what?” he asked.

Eddie sighed. “You know…like. I don’t know, just…what’s going to happen with us.”

Richie blinked, and he nodded, understanding. “Oh--okay, sure. Anything you want, Eds.”

Eddie’s heart fluttered at the familiar nickname. He missed it more than he should have. He wrinkled his nose and playfully shoved Richie lightly, smiling when Richie dramatically lost his balance. 

“Don’t call me that.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the next chapter will be mostly just them finally getting together--like actually together, and some smut too (obvi) so that will come out soon! but I hope you guys all liked this chap and the explanation for everything--feel free to comment down your feelings/opinions/ anything you feel like commenting! i saw a lot of people say they had theories for what Richie's reason was so if you were right, let me know ! and if you weren't I'm really interested to know what you thought it would be too! anyways, thanks guys for being patient and waiting, and I'll really try to finish this fic by next week! i'm trying to finish quick because I have a LOT of fic ideas that I can't wait to write lol, but yeah thanks for the kudos and comments--I really appreciate them all! lots of love !


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